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Our upstairs neighbors (sad)...

Skipperg82Skipperg82 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

So we had a couple move in a few months ago upstairs and we thought it was kind of weird that they STILL don't have furniture, a tv, or anything in that place.  Turns out the husband was talking to our others neighbors and he said that their situation was "temporary".  I guess he came from an abusive family and has issues with being a dad (they were just bf/gf and she got pregnant so they had a shotgun wedding - his words, not mine).  

We hear him constantly screaming at his wife and his daughter (2 month old) and he is always making up these really cruel songs about her.  She seems like the sweetest quietest girl, and her baby is so precious.   I feel so so bad for her - just now I heard him yelling at the baby to "shut up already"!  

I almost want to go up there and see if I can offer a hand, but don't want to be nosy.   :( 

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Re: Our upstairs neighbors (sad)...

  • npaulsellnpaulsell

    Do you talk to them a lot? Maybe you could stop in and see her while he is not home.

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  • Skipperg82Skipperg82 member
    No, I only see her in passing and we just say hi and chat a little.  They only have one car so I never know if it's just him or just her at home.   I don't want to stop by when he's there!!!
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  • *NNO**NNO*
    Even though it's none of your business, it becomes your business when you hear someone getting verbally abused constantly and in a cruel manner.
    I think you should call the cops and report "loud/disturbing neighbors" anonymously so the cops can show up and make sure everything is okay.
    That would be what I would do.

    I once had a neighbor that got his teen GF pg, and when she had the baby, they would be screaming at each other and causing the baby to cry (I could also hear things being thrown). The cops jumped in and convinced her to leave him. It was the best way I could protect her and the child without being involved directly.
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  • ILuvMyPilotILuvMyPilot
    I know you hate to be nosy, but I would keep my ears and eyes open to make sure he is not hurting the wife or the baby.  It sounds like he has a short fuse and would hate to hear that something happen to the baby because she would not stop crying.   I would try to stop over sometime and befriend her so she has someone to come to.   Make some food or something so that if he is there you can just say you wanted to drop off the food or something. 
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  • Skipperg82Skipperg82 member
    imageILuvMyPilot:
    I know you hate to be nosy, but I would keep my ears and eyes open to make sure he is not hurting the wife or the baby.  It sounds like he has a short fuse and would hate to hear that something happen to the baby because she would not stop crying.   I would try to stop over sometime and befriend her so she has someone to come to.   Make some food or something so that if he is there you can just say you wanted to drop off the food or something. 

    Yeah I've been wanting to do this.  I'm definitely keeping my eyes/ears open for any potential abuse because it breaks my heart to hear him talk like that to his wife and baby.  I'm not sure about calling the cops - I really don't know how useful that would be, I think it would piss him off more and he would probably figure out who called.  My DH and him work in the same area (they both have similar jobs in the military) and I don't want him bringing that to work and making a scene where he shouldn't be. 

     

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  • love.lovelove.love member
    while I'd be tempted as well to try to befriend her and see if you can offer a hand, he sounds like the type that could be dangerous with his anger. If he feels threatened by someone else intervening it could spell trouble for you or your family.. but it could also really help her out, so that's a tough one.

    I hope things work out! GL
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  • squishysgalsquishysgal member
    Can you try to arrange for a "playdate"? Was he deployed? Maybe it is a PTSD issue, she could try to use the VA to get some counseling, if not for him for her and the baby. There are a lot of programs for families and PTSD, it's just a matter of finding them. Good luck!
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  • Skipperg82Skipperg82 member

    imagesquishysgal:
    Can you try to arrange for a "playdate"? Was he deployed? Maybe it is a PTSD issue, she could try to use the VA to get some counseling, if not for him for her and the baby. There are a lot of programs for families and PTSD, it's just a matter of finding them. Good luck!

    No, not that I know of.  Dh and him went through pretty much the same training, and I believe this is his first duty station.  I might do a playdate or something - we are leaving in a month and so is our other neighbor so I just hope that she can get the help she needs!

     

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  • beanieboobeanieboo
    If you witness abuse, it is your responsibility to report it.  End of story.  It doesn't have to be physical.  Verbal abuse also counts.  A child cannot continuously be berated and screamed at.  Child protective services or the police is who you would contact.
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  • blueshirt2003blueshirt2003
    If I heard that I'd call the police. That sounds like a horrible horrible situation. :(
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  • blueshirt2003blueshirt2003
    imageSkipperg82:
    imageILuvMyPilot:
    I know you hate to be nosy, but I would keep my ears and eyes open to make sure he is not hurting the wife or the baby.  It sounds like he has a short fuse and would hate to hear that something happen to the baby because she would not stop crying.   I would try to stop over sometime and befriend her so she has someone to come to.   Make some food or something so that if he is there you can just say you wanted to drop off the food or something. 

    Yeah I've been wanting to do this.  I'm definitely keeping my eyes/ears open for any potential abuse because it breaks my heart to hear him talk like that to his wife and baby.  I'm not sure about calling the cops - I really don't know how useful that would be, I think it would piss him off more and he would probably figure out who called.  My DH and him work in the same area (they both have similar jobs in the military) and I don't want him bringing that to work and making a scene where he shouldn't be. 

     

    That sucks that they work near each other in their fields but really, he is verbally abusing them. If they don't have furniture either they aren't providing enough for their living situation. That's a load of crap that he's acting this way. My H is in the military and if he knew someone was abusing their family members he'd definitely report it. Your H should also be wanting to report it of he knows of it/has heard it happen etc.

    GL with the situation.

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  • beanieboobeanieboo
    Hey I just wanted to add that I know it's easier said than done.  It's hard to get involved in a situation like that.  Still, call child protective services and let them give you advice.  Stay strong.
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