Upset - Daycare Situation - Thoughts?

jeffrae · February 2010

xp pal

Warning - long!

We picked a daycare close to our home (5 minutes) so that DH and I could share pickup/dropoff responsibilities. It was also one of the mid-range in price (our area is 350/week). It is a major daycare center. 8 infants in a room with two teachers. We toured it a couple of times, asked a ton of questions, and even though the facility is not that nice....the people seemed friendly and kids happy. They have a curriculum, lots of toys, take them outside everyday (covered area if raining). We signed up at 20 weeks pregnant....most waiting lists are 2 years. this place there is not a waiting list, you actually pay upfront for a spot when an opening is. So we were set.

She seems to like the main teacher, who according to DH who dropsoff, gives her a hug and kiss every morning. Another main teacher in the class is nice and goes out of her way to smile and say goodbye to Addy when I pick her up. Only a few times I have been in there when a baby is upset, and it is normally only maybe one. The ladies are always busy. Most of the time they cluster four babies around them on mats, bumbo seats, etc and keep the entertained with toys. During nap time, there is light music on (spanish influence from the main teacher). This room is 6 weeks up through crawling.

One time DH picked her up and she was in the bumbo seat so upset crying with snot coming out of her nose. Most of the other times, she is very content.

On Friday - her second week of daycare, I picked her up midday to hang out with her in the afternoon. She was visiting the older class room (crawlers up to 15ish months). When I walked in, there were 8 babies. Two sleeping, two in high chairs eating finger food, one walking around, and one girl scooting around, one getting changed, and then Addy. Laying on her back on the mat without toys (older class) crying, one sock off and no where to be found. I picked her up, she stopped crying instantly....I smelled a poopy diaper. A women, call her R, was surprised to see me there (I had told another teacher I was coming in halfday the day before...doesn't matter though as they have an open door policy). They had just warmed a bottle for Addy, so I gave that to her.

I should mention that I did not know one woman in the class. I had met R before, and DH does not like her at all! I agree with him now....she is kind of vacant, does not smile, and just has a very ugly aura about her. She is a floater teacher....the main teacher, S, was on lunch break. Let me say that we really like S - always cheerful.

back to the story.....When I asked them to change her after she ate, R looked at me like I am crazy. I should mention that Addy never gets diaper rash, well more then a tiny bit that goes away with one treatment around her bum. She had it super bad on the front area, and then it had spread....which R said something about. Then when she realized it was poop, she acted surprised. I asked how often they changed them...she said every two hours. she made sure to tell me that they always change poopy diapers. I told them she had never had diaper rash before. I asked them to do it more often - they said they could every 1.5 until the diaper rash goes away.

Lets just say that I was rattled with what I walked into....that she was the only "helpless" baby in the room, crying on the floor, in poop. It bothered me that they did not say anything about how long she had been upset, or explain about her day (as the other room does). They were not being lazy...they were doing things, but I would have expected them to stop and pick up a crying baby. It bothered me that R seemed to have no personality or even one hint of a smile. It bothered me that she was in the older room....when she is not even rolling yet.

I left the daycare, called my husband, and literally started crying for the first time about placing her in daycare. I felt like a horrible working mom.

Now, that all said....I understand that no person will be as good as me, as the mom. I get that. I also know that 1 to 4 ratio will mean that there will be sometimes where she does not get the first attention if there are multiple fussing babies.

So, did I overreact, or was it my instincts telling me something was not right? Regardless, we are going to talk to the centers director about it.

EastCoastBride · February 2010

My initial concern would be why is she in a different room and a room where there were 8 kids and only one caregiver. One person can NOT take care of 8 kids! And the fact she was changing a baby.... obvioulsy she can't take care of your DD at the same time.

That would be my initial issue.

As for her personality... eh, I met a nanny in our neighborhood whose personality was off-putting, but the people who use her LOVE her. Say she's great w/ the kids, etc. I don't think her personality is necessarily indicitive of her ability to take care of kids.

Pesky · February 2010

If there was a ratio issue, I would definitely be talking to the director. I think the max I've heard of is 5:1. I would also be concerned that your DD was in a room where she did not belong and was more advanced. Because unless you have a high ratio of teachers, it could be dangerous. Once kids get mobile, they can get aggressive and so the non-mobile babies need greater protection from the others who like to come and try to grab faces and bash with toys. As for the diaper issue, I think I would speak to the lead teacher about it and R's attitude. I might even inquire if R has a physical issue with her sense of smell as a poopy diaper is easily detected once a person would come in vacinty of your DD (true -- you can begin to smell the offender pretty fast). FWIW, we had some issues with an assistant in one of DD's toddler rooms who was AWFUL -- seemed like she was just clocking in for the paycheck and you could tell. I had a conversation with the lead teacher not about that assistant but about things that needed to be done to make DD more comfortable (and me) in that class and after that, the lead teacher took a more active role in DD's care and sidelined the assistant. So for matters other than the ratio issue, I'd go with the lead teacher first for resolution so you don't create bad blood with her.

Mrs.McLovin · February 2010

I would be calling the director to ask why she was in the older classroom when she is not ready to be. I get visiting the next room, but it doesn't sound like she is even ready for that. I also would be asking about how much time R spends in the next classroom.

Go with your gut here. If you are not comfortable with this daycare, start looking for another one. Meanwhile, tell the director that your baby is to stay in the baby room.

DoughGirl · February 2010

I would definitely be concerned about her being in the older room and if the teacher/child ratio was not being adhered to.

There is a teacher at DS's daycare that isn't my favorite person either, personality wise, but she does her job and they've had no incidents with her, so I guess she just isn't a people person. R might be totally different with kids and maybe is just uncomfortable with adults.

For the diaper issue, I swear my DS can get a rash from one bad poop in 15 minutes. I can't tell you how many times I've picked him up at daycare, and can smell a poopy diaper the second I lift him, but according to the teachers and his daily log, he had just been changed 20 minutes before I walked in the door, and I believe them. We get a very detailed record of the day's activities and our pick up time can vary greatly from one day to the next.

I don't think it's unreasonable to speak to the director/main teacher about your concerns. It's also reasonable to ask them to please check her diaper more often or give specific instructions to use a diaper rash ointment with each change, etc. If you do that and don't see an improvement, then I would go from there.

Rachel2315 · February 2010

I would talk to the director ASAP. I talked to the director of our daycare once already b/c I wasn't carded by a teacher who didn't know me at all - (MIL usually picks DS up - but she was sick that day and so I didn't pick him up until 4:30) this lady just said "Does Hunter belong to you? He's usually not here this late!" I just said "Yup, he's mine!" And she gave him to me. I worked in daycares during college and our director always pushed that issue with us, so I felt uncomfortable with it and the director reassured me that she would talk to that lady.

The bottom line is that you HAVE to feel comfortable with the place you leave your LO. If you don't, even after you talk to the director, it might be time to look around again. I just find that if I don't have peace of mind about the place he's at all day, I am not a valuable employee. Or a functioning person!

lwebster · February 2010

I agree it's a ratio issue, here you have to go by the youngest child in the class, so if her age ration is 4:1 then that's what should have bene in that room

Angela814 · February 2010

Why was she in the other class? That would be my first concern. I know DD started visiting the older class as she was ready to transition, but I'm guessing your DD isn't ready to start crawling yet.

Where was the other teacher? I'm pretty sure the ratio here at least is 4:1 up until 2 years. I understand if one teacher was busy making her a bottle, but what was the other teacher doing. IMO there's not much she could have been that's more important than picking up or checking on a crying baby.

Do they give you a sheet with her daily schedule? When did it say she had been changed last? I guess I can see them not realizing she needed a diaper if they had just changed her 30 minutes ago or something, but they still should have checked if she was crying.

I would talk to the director, mostly about her being in the wrong room and the diaper issue.

duchess0727 · February 2010

Talk to the director, talk to all of the teachers and express your concerns. Remember, you aren't the only parent - they are used to this and they will not be offended by it. Keep telling them what is bothering you and what you want them to do. If you don't like a specific teacher, tell the director to try to make sure other teachers are with your LO. You are paying a lot of money for daycare and they should be happy to accomodate you (I know at our daycare, our director will do just about anything to make her parents happy and no topic is off limits). The first few months are tough - it will get a lot better as she gets older and more independent.

Want a personalized experience?

Upset - Daycare Situation - Thoughts?

Re: Upset - Daycare Situation - Thoughts?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards