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Are we the only family struggling with this?

newmom2londynnewmom2londyn
in Postpartum Depression
I ask because DH and I have hit a crossroad and I feel completely hopeless, scared, lost and confused. Just recently, everyhing has hit us all at once. My student loans came off deferment, our gas and electric "budgets" doubled, we recently had to start paying for daycare, and we are utterly broke. Literally, we have $3.63 cents in the bank, no savings, in debt up to our ears from the sale of our home and have been putting gas, prescription meds, and groceries on our CC which is maxed out. We have tried to cut everywhere we possibly could, but there are no other places we can cut. We are in the "red" every single month, can barely feed ourselves, and we both work full time all week and have nothing to show for it. Before you flame me, we tried to plan as best we could before the baby came. Then all of a sudden, everything hit us at once. Property taxes, and unexpected bills just dropped on us. We dont have any family or friends in the area so its just us and the baby and it is hard. We cant ask family for help because we arent all that close to our families and they are 1000 miles away. It is all we think about and consumes us and its impossible to sleep or think about anything else. The stress of a new baby and being flat broke all the time is taking its toll. We work hard and are decent honest people and have just hit a very rough spot. We are VERY good with our money as far as not eating out, shopping, or buying useless things. We basically work to keep a roof over our heads and have zero $$ for anything else. Ever. For the first time, I had to wash a few bibs for my DD for daycare with soap in the sink because we have no money for laundry soap. It is starting to depress me to no end. I am crying every night and am tired of trying to figure out which bill NOT to pay this month because we cant pay them all. Anyone else going though financial problems? Please tell me I am not alone. I feel bad for my DD sometimes and wonder what the hell have we brought her into........You would look at us and think we have it all together, but that is so far from the truth........ .
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Re: Are we the only family struggling with this?

  • Gina418Gina418 member

    (((Hugs))) I'm sorry you're in this situation - sadly, you are not alone. My dh was out of work for over a year and we struggled. We have a lot of debt to climb out of. It's hard.

    Have you looked into WIC, Medicaid, other government programs? They can help you out - these programs are made for situations like this. Don't be afraid to ask for help - I know a lot of churches in my area have food pantries, check out churches in your neighborhood for similar programs.

    Keep hope - a lot of people have struggled and bounced back - hopefully you can too!

    GL to you!

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  • EnglishMajor03EnglishMajor03 member

    I SAH and we're always looking to save a buck. I'd suggest canceling your cable if you have it...and even your internet.  I'm not sure what you do for work, but if you have the internet there, you can sacrifice having it at home too.

    Budget for your groceries.  Shop the sales and only buy what is on sale.  Build your weekly menu around that.  Do you like beans?  They're a great 'filler' with meat...which stretches a buck.

    Lastly, have you and your H thought of taking on PT jobs?  It's not ideal but you have to do what you have to do.  

     

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  • emasemas
    Hey the ladies on Money Matters (on the Nest) are great with money and can be a huge help - just post your budget and ask for the help.  A ton of folks over there have been in hardship situations, so are very understanding. 
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  • J+OJ+O
    imagelucy460:

    You said, "we both work FT all week and have nothing to show for it." That makes me think that either you still aren't sure where your money goes, or maybe you aren't earning enough to justify working, esp given that you have 2 children that presumably are in daycare. You might want to do the math on that: are you paying more for daycare than either of your salaries?  If so, that's a losing situation that you can remedy.

     


    This.  Daycare is expensive.  It saves us money having me home.  You could even go down to one car (if you have two).

    You need to sit down, and look at EVERYTHING... you HAVE to make a budget, you have to.  And if it means moving somewhere else to save a few hundred a month, do it.  If it means selling a car, do it.  If it means learning how to cook to save money on eating out, do it.  I have become a great cook for no other reason than it saves us money and I actually like it.

    The only way this is going to get better is to grab this by the horns and take control.  There are many free financial websites to help you budget and see where your money is going if you're not sure.  Mint.com is just one.

    And lastly, sometimes you have to swallow your pride and ask for help, for your children if it gets that bad.  GL. 
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