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TTC after 35
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Never thought I'd say this, but I'm ready. And freaked out.

JoAnna914JoAnna914 member
in TTC after 35

I will be 37 years old in April.  I've spent my entire adult life making sure that I am happy with myself as an individual, solidifying my career and intellectual pursuits, knowing that I would be a terrible mother if I did not make sure I was a whole person on my own merits before bringing a child into the world.  I've done everything that I've needed to do to become the person I wanted to be, in order to be the kind of role model I feel a duty to be to the children in my life.  My husband and I have been together for ten years, married for nearly eight, and have a super-solid relationship; partners in ever sense of the word.  Financially, we are in good shape - we have savings, little debt aside from our mortgage, and the ability to always support ourselves due to the nature of our careers.  I have worked through ambivalence about parenthood and pregnancy.  The final road block that has kept me from TTC has been lifted (found out the six months I worked part time during law school before coming on full time is being put toward my seniority to get full compensation for maternity leave).  So everything is in place, the stars have aligned.

And now I'm FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! 

How can I say that I am ready and freaking out at the same time? I am in this panic that we are about to do something that could be awesome, but could also be catastrophic, and most certainly permanent!  There has been a rash of pregnant women at my office who seem to be heading toward motherhood with poise and composure, and I don't know how they do it!  There is this little person coming who will be dependent on them for the better part of the next two decades.  How can they not be freaking out a little?  Is my panic a sign that maybe I'm NOT ready?  Is this just a symptom of being an older potential-mom-to-be (over-thinking)? Is this an emotion I just need to roll with?

Did anyone else feel this way when they made the decision to TTC? 

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Re: Never thought I'd say this, but I'm ready. And freaked out.

  • MrsKarioMrsKario

    Hi.  I dont think your panic means that you are not ready to TTC.  Becoming a parent is a monumental change and should not be taken lightly.  It sounds like you are a planner and you are just processing how massive this really is.  Freaking out a little is normal in my opinion. 

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  • JoAnna914JoAnna914 member

    Thanks for the reply and validation.  We decided literally today that we are going to TTC, so I'm just reacting right now to the fact that we actually made a decision.  

    Good luck to you on this journey.

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  • *Chicken**Chicken*
    I've been TTC for going on 2.5 years and I still have moments of 'holy crap what am I doing?!?!?' It can be terrifying and overwhelming to think that one day you will be responsible for another human being. So as far as I'm concerned your freak outs are normal.
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  • ToshaGirlToshaGirl member

    Totally normal. People over think it all the time. It took me years to get on board.

    Here's some advice: While 37 isn't that old, it isn't 20 either. Get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and educate yourself on the ttc process. While you might be that lucky one that gets pg right away, it can take up to a year for a healthy couple with no fertility issues to concieve.

    If you are on birth control, get off asap. Can take months for your cycle to regulate.  Understanding (and tracking) your ovulation is key. www.fertilityfriend.com

    Dont' worry, it might seem overwhelming but it all comes together.

    GL to you! 

     

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  • DinaLINYDinaLINY
    imageCathyMD:

    Totally normal. People over think it all the time. It took me years to get on board.

    Here's some advice: While 37 isn't that old, it isn't 20 either. Get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and educate yourself on the ttc process. While you might be that lucky one that gets pg right away, it can take up to a year for a healthy couple with no fertility issues to concieve.

    If you are on birth control, get off asap. Can take months for your cycle to regulate.  Understanding (and tracking) your ovulation is key. www.fertilityfriend.com

    Dont' worry, it might seem overwhelming but it all comes together.

    GL to you! 

     

    this!

    Cathy is brilliant - definitely take her advice :) 

    hello fellow LI'er BTW. 

    Welcome and good luck to you, I hope your stay here is short. 


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  • JoAnna914JoAnna914 member

    Thank you all for the encouragement and advice.  Luckily, I've been off BC for over six years (we have used many, many other methods in order to prevent pregnancy . . . I'm not sure we remember how to get pregnant, LOL!)  I have some other books that I've been consulting regarding fertility and conception, but Take Charge sounds like a book universally regarded as a must-have, so I will head to the book store today to pick it up.  I started charting in January, so I'm good to go on that.  

    Intellectually, I've also prepared myself for the possibility that this may not work out for us, now that we've waited so long.  I'm just trying to step back and see what life has in store for us, so we'll see what happens from here.

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  • hollymichaelhollymichael

    I think it is completely normal.  How can it NOT be scary to be doing something that will be totally life changing. I felt the same way when we first started trying. Now my terror is related to the fact that it doesn't seem like we can get pregnant, but once we do, I am sure all my old fears will come rushing back. 

    If this is what you want to do, then I think you just have to trust that it will all work out and not overthink it too much.

    Good luck!

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