Parenting after a Loss

should i say something?

so yesterday when i went to drop off olivia's things with her daycare lady, we chatted about a few questions i had, etc. she is great and i am really comfortable with her watching olivia.

however, i have one concern about how she wants olivia dressed for the day- she wants me to put her in a short sleeved onesie, socks, a long sleeve footed jumper, mittens, and a hat! she is planning on having her in that all day?!! that is a lot of clothes in my opinion! on top of it, olivia is a very hot baby- she usually just wears a onesie in our house and is comfortable.

also, during naps, she swaddles them too, which will make her even more hot! i am soooo worried about overheating and sids, ugh. should i email her about this concern or am i being silly? i mean, she is a professional care giver. what do you think? tia!!!

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Re: should i say something?

  • I would say something.

    I have never heard of a DCP telling you how to dress your child. I can understand maybe saying one piece outfits preferred rather than pants, socks,etc...

    Plus if Olivia is too hot, she won't sleep....so she will probably give up on the swaddle idea really quick!

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  • imageMelissaAB5579:

    Plus if Olivia is too hot, she won't sleep....so she will probably give up on the swaddle idea really quick!

    this is true! thanks for the advice melissa! 

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  • um, I think it's weird that she is telling you how to dress your baby!  I would email her and tell her you will dress her comfortably for the weather and include some extras in her diaper bag in case she needs to be bundled up... You may want to let her know that she doesn't normally sleep in a hat, etc.  I would definitely bring it up to her, that's strange in my opinion!
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  • imageRebandJake:
    um, I think it's weird that she is telling you how to dress your baby!  I would email her and tell her you will dress her comfortably for the weather and include some extras in her diaper bag in case she needs to be bundled up... You may want to let her know that she doesn't normally sleep in a hat, etc.  I would definitely bring it up to her, that's strange in my opinion!

    ok, so i'm not crazy! i thought it was weird too!! thanks rebecca! 

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  • This is just weird to me! It's one thing for her to say to dress her in something she could easily change her in, but to specifically say mittens and a hat? Maybe she wants you to bring those things so she can take her outside or something--but is it cold there? My DCP's house is very warm so I dress him in very light clothes. I'd like for her to tell me to dress him all up like that!! That's just crazy talk.
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  • imagecoraandmike:
    That's just crazy talk.

    that's what i say! ok, i'm emailing her now! thanks girls!

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  • Yeah, I would say something too. My LO runs hot and is usually in a onesie at home, maybe socks... he would roast in all that clothing!
  • Perhaps she keeps her house cooler to save $$ on electricity or gas? Or maybe she is just one of those people who think that babies need to wear 500 layers of clothes???
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  • imagelkstor:
    Perhaps she keeps her house cooler to save $$ on electricity or gas? Or maybe she is just one of those people who think that babies need to wear 500 layers of clothes???

    i think she's just "one of those people"...her house was realllly warm! 

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  • I'd honestly talk to her in person or over the phone. It can be hard to be as clear in emails in some situations.  But yes, I think this is very weird. Your baby will roast in all those clothes. Plus not all babies like to be swaddled. I'd call her and tell her that you want her to know your babies preferences, etc. and mention that she doesn't like the swaddle, sleeps on her back, is hot natured, does not wear hats, etc. Just tell her you're a nervous first time mom and then run down the list of things you want her to know about Olivia.
    After 2 m/cs, dx October 2008 with hetero factor v leiden & mthfr & low progesterone; third time was the charm - BFP 3/19/09 on first cycle of clomid. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagetiffanylaw06:
    I'd honestly talk to her in person or over the phone. It can be hard to be as clear in emails in some situations.  But yes, I think this is very weird. Your baby will roast in all those clothes. Plus not all babies like to be swaddled. I'd call her and tell her that you want her to know your babies preferences, etc. and mention that she doesn't like the swaddle, sleeps on her back, is hot natured, does not wear hats, etc. Just tell her you're a nervous first time mom and then run down the list of things you want her to know about Olivia.

    oh great, i already emailed her. i didn't think of that. yikes! well, we'll see what she says! 

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  • See what she says. Then when you drop her off on Monday just go and talk to her a bit about Olivia's preferences. Dylan's aunt is his nanny right now (while I'm in my busy season with work) and she shawdowed us for a few days before I returned to work. But even with that, I still went over some basics again before I left the first day. I was a wreck and said some pretty obvious stuff but wanted to make sure it was in her head again. Stuff like: he doesn't sleep with any blankets, he prefers getting burped when he is 1/2 way done with his bottle but not before, we aren't CIO at all so please don't let him cry excessively, ...
    After 2 m/cs, dx October 2008 with hetero factor v leiden & mthfr & low progesterone; third time was the charm - BFP 3/19/09 on first cycle of clomid. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • That is really crazy. Mentioning that she has cold feet and recommending socks at daycare is one thing, but why in the world would she need a hat and mittens in the house?!?!?!

  • I would absolutely say something!  At the very least, she needs to explain why she thinks your baby needs so many more clothes then you dress her in.  Has she noticed your baby being cold?  She might have a valid concern, but you need to discuss it with her.  Overheating is very much a concern with SIDS, and you don't want to risk that.  Refer her to this list: 

    https://www.halosleep.com/keep_your_baby_safe/safe_sleep_tips/

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