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Did anyone NOT have that moment......

loveumikeloveumike
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
in the hospital after LO was born where you looked into their eyes and fell madly in love?  I never had that.  My love for her grew over time. 
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Re: Did anyone NOT have that moment......

  • ggbeanggbean

    Ditto

    I would say I felt very protective of him, and felt an intense need to care for him, but I really didn't fall madly in love until later.  

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  • DarthBabyDarthBaby member
    Me. This is actually the thing I tell my pregnant friends that I know are like me. That it is okay if you don't have the immediate "I am in love moment". I was in labor for 24 hours and had 3 of pushing. I was tired!
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  • macchiattomacchiatto member

    Same here, actually. I've read that's normal but people don't often talk about it so moms who experience it wonder what's wrong.

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • LynnJonesLynnJones
    I guess I really didn't.  I mean of course I loved her but not like I do now, or even when she was 3 months.  I was so overwhelmed at first I was so scared I was going to break her or something.
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  • Amymarie13Amymarie13 member

    I didn't. Kind of releieved to see this post. I thought I was the only one. I think i was so overwhelmed and exhausted and hormonal...? I don't know why, but I didn't.

     I really didn't "fall in love" with DD until she was much older, she was a really tough baby and cried all the time. well, screamed all the time.

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member

    imagenicolelynn00:
    Me. This is actually the thing I tell my pregnant friends that I know are like me. That it is okay if you don't have the immediate "I am in love moment". I was in labor for 24 hours and had 3 of pushing. I was tired!

    Hmm, maybe that was part of it for me, too. I was completely exhausted by the time they were actually out. Excited to see them, but SO tired! Plus it was a long time from the time I asked for my epidural until I actually got it so I broke down and asked for something for the pain in the meantime. I didn't respond well to whatever it was so I was pretty out of it for the next 24 hrs.

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • Karen_77Karen_77
    Same here, took me awhile to really feel connected to DD.  I attribute it a lot to my PPD because I found once I got treatment my attachment to DD grew by leaps and bounds very quickly.
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  • Gina418Gina418 member
    :::raises hand:::
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  • jamie4dukejamie4duke member

    With Teagan I didn't have that moment.  I was so tired, in pain, and having issues with my mom, and I just was not in a good place.  A few days later it started.  I was very protective of her, and made sure I was a good mom to her though.

    With Kelsey, it was instantaneous.  Maybe it was because I was in such a happy time in my life, and I knew how amazing it was to have a child already, that it just happened.  I've bonded more with Kelsey too.  Teagan is a daddy's girl lol.

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  • peeps61308peeps61308 member

    imageKaren_77:
    Same here, took me awhile to really feel connected to DD.  I attribute it a lot to my PPD because I found once I got treatment my attachment to DD grew by leaps and bounds very quickly.

    Same here. I think it took me months to be attached and "fall in love" with DD. At first it was a huge physical and emotional albatross. I thought I had made a HUGE mistake!!

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  • 102503Natalie102503Natalie
    Ditto!  It actually took quite a while for me to develop that deep love for her.  I loved her immediately, but it wasn't that earth shattering love that I often hear about.  I thought something was wrong with me. 

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  • murphyecmurphyec
    I wanted that moment, heck I still regret not having that moment.  But after 4 hours of pushing I was too tired to do more than just be happy it was over.  For me it I fell a little more in love with him every day.  Hell some days I still wonder how the heck he is all mine and wonder when his real parents are going to come pick him up. 
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  • violetvirgovioletvirgo
    i actually had everyone telling me that it would just feel overwhelming but that it would take a bit to bond.  so i was prepared for that.  it turned out that i did have that instant bond - i was on cloud nine from the adrenaline and i nursed 2 minutes after she was born and it was LOVE.  but i was fully prepared not to feel that way.
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  • Snowy_OwlSnowy_Owl
    Nope - my love developed over time.  The way I feel towards her now is much more intense than it was initially - but this was what I was told to expect so I did.
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  • userdeleteduserdeleted member

    It was like that with DS1. The whole experience was surreal. Then he was in the NICU and I barely even felt like his parent. I loved him from the beginning but fell in love with him over time.

    With DS2 I did have that "moment." I think that the difference was a) With my second it was less of a crazy life change, easier to process what was happening, and b) I had just had the VBAC I had been hoping for ever since the birth of my first, so I was on a total emotional high already.

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  • Mrs.McLovinMrs.McLovin member
    me too
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  • jenerally?jenerally? member

    I had it for my first, not for my second.

    Of course, I barely saw my second as he was quickly whisked away to the NICU, so I claim extenuating circumstances.

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  • fignewt74fignewt74 member

    imagemurphyec:
    I wanted that moment, heck I still regret not having that moment.  But after 4 hours of pushing I was too tired to do more than just be happy it was over.  For me it I fell a little more in love with him every day.  Hell some days I still wonder how the heck he is all mine and wonder when his real parents are going to come pick him up. 

    This.

     




     

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  • *blondiem**blondiem*
    It took Charlie and I quite awhile to really form a bond. I think that's natural for some new moms. At least, I hope so. :)
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  • Gin*In*TNGin*In*TN
    I didn't. I was more in shock than anything. Disbelief, fear, panic, uncertainty, self-doubt. I felt all of that. I loved her, but I "fell in love" with her over time. It certainly wasn't that magic-movie moment. 
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  • jenny&ben112506jenny&ben112506
    imageggbean:

    Ditto

    I would say I felt very protective of him, and felt an intense need to care for him, but I really didn't fall madly in love until later.  

    This was my experience w/ #1.

    I did have the moment w/ #2.  I think the difference was knowing what to expect the second time.  Liam was an emergency c/s and Loch was a planned one.  

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  • AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member
    The best pregnancy/child advice I got was from my Mom. She told me "you probably will not love them right away, that is fine and normal, over time you will love them more than you ever thought possible, right away does not mean never" I am so glad she told me that because I did not have that overwhelming feeling with either one, but now I would die for both and love them so much it hurts.
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  • alheystekalheystek
    I did not. DS was taken to the NICU immediately after he was born. I got to see him from the stretcher before they took me upstairs. I didn't get to see him again until he was 2 days old, and didn't get to hold him until he was 4 days old. I wanted to feel connected to him so badly, but I just was not physically able to.
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  • SarahMay77SarahMay77

    Sort of, but I blame it on my c/s.  I didn't get to hold DD until an hour after my surgery.  Then she started BFing immediately, so I got to stare at the back of her head thinking "I don't even know what my kid looks like."  It was nearly midnight by the time she finished eating, so the nurses took her away for the rest of the night.  I laid there thinking how weird it was that I had my baby, but I did really "have" my baby yet.

    The next morning, I was wrecked from having no food and losing a ton of blood.  DH had to spoon feed me broth and jello.  I basically just held DD to nurse and then they'd put her in the bassinet or DH would hold her.  It wasn't until we got home from the hospital that I started to have my moment.

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  • tmbuchmanntmbuchmann

    By the time DS was delivered I was so tired and in pain that I felt bad for looking at him and thinking "so your the one who just made everything hurt so bad?"  after I was cleaned up and able to hold him without shaking so bad I think I was able to fully appreciate and love him the way I thought it would be the moment I saw him.

    I'm really glad to see this post, I thought that there was something wrong with me.

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  • sunreisunrei
    imageggbean:

    Ditto

    I would say I felt very protective of him, and felt an intense need to care for him, but I really didn't fall madly in love until later.  

    Same here. I just wanted to feed him immediately, care for him and protect him but his personality I fell in love with later.

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  • lanie30lanie30 member

    Me!

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  • Smores730Smores730 member
    imageggbean:

    Ditto

    I would say I felt very protective of him, and felt an intense need to care for him, but I really didn't fall madly in love until later.  

    This is how I felt too. I had a moment after she was like 2 months old where I remember holding her and crying about how much I loved her. My husband traveled for work right after I had her, so it was an insane time in my life until that point!

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  • KimWKimW

    Me either.  I like the way you describe it as falling in love over time.  I loved her and everything, just not like the love I have for her now.

     I'm feeling much more love for this new LO already.  I think it's because I'm picturing a tiny little 5 inch version of DD.

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  • J+OJ+O
    I did, but I know many mothers who did not.

    When my sister got pregnant, I told her some mothers fall in love during pregnancy, some once the baby is born, and some once their child can respond to them (smile for example) and it grows over time... I think this is something all mothers should hear.  I thought I was heartless because I wasn't madly in love during pregnancy. 
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