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3rd Trimester
anyone NOT want DH in room?
So it was just me and DH for our son, and I went no meds...it was hard and totally crazy painful, this time I am getting the epidural. I really dont even want DH in the room, its soo traumatic and gross, and he was really no help at all, i just felt bad for him standing there unable to do anything. So I'll have him in the waiting room and he can come in after they clean me up. I figure why traumatize more than one person? I don't like to be comforted or my back rubbed kind of stuff so I am fine doing it alone.... and 15 years ago they didnt even let husbands in the room anyhow....
well just want to know is this anyone else preference?
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Re: anyone NOT want DH in room?
DH put LO in there...he better be there to help get him out!! LOL
However, I think there is nothing wrong with your request. Your body is going through a lot and you have the final say in the atmosphere you want/need. GL
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I personally could never imagine not having DH in the room if he was available to be there. Just having his presence would be enough to calm me and reassure me. I also am trying to go med free.
My sister however did not want anyone in the room for her first born so everyone including her DH stayed outside. I don't think he was too thrilled but he knew that his presence would only serve to annoy my sister. She isn't the type to like having her back rubbed exc so it worked for her. To each their own.
hes OK with it, he would rather be in the room, but he will do what I want. I told him to go get a beer at the bar around the corner and I will call him when its over!
i also thought just seeing him would comfort me, but he was so helpless and kind of in awe of what was happening and unable to help me made me feel more bad for him than anything else. everyone's experience is soo different, but my "med free" was awful...and DH agreed, thought that next time it would be less traumatizing for him to jsut c-section me at home on his own!
If he wants to be there, then he really should be there. You shouldn't have a painful experience if you are opting for an epidural... and really maybe you should try focusing on the task at hand rather than feeling sorry for your DH, lol. It obviously wasn't that horrible for him if he wants to be in the room again.
Ways he can be helpful: Getting you a cool washcloth if you need one, getting you ice chips (or a popsicle), holding your hand while you're pushing... Even if you're not a touchy-feely kind of person, try to think about how he might want to be there for the birth of this child.
I don't want DH in the room. I will be having a C/S and DH is not good at seeing blood. He will pass out watching me get my blood taken.
With our first, the doctors were more concerned about him than me and he refused to leave. I needed to have a C/S and he saw some of the towels of blood they had on the floor and pretty much almost passed out.
I have told him that i dont want him there and will be fine by myself, but he wants to be there regardless. He said if something happened to me and i were to die that he would never be able to forgive himself for not being the last person i see. I'm gonna let him do what he wants but im still trying to get him to stay the eff out
Whatever works for you but I think MOST husbands would be way more traumatized by not being allowed to be there for the birth of their child than witnessing it. My husband though it was an incredible experience and was totally amazed and awed by the whole process. He would have been devastated if I'd prevented him from being there.
And it was WAY more than 15 years ago that husbands/fathers weren't allowed in the delivery room. Try more like 40.
My Dh does not to well with the sight of blood or even talking about needles. When we knew for sure i was going to be a scheduled c/s, i told him I would understand if he couldn't be in there with me. He knew i was scared out of my mind and was not about to miss DS being born. He just focused on me and helped keep me calm.
He surprised himself with how well he did. He even cut the cord when DS was on the warmer. No way he would have wanted to miss out on that experience. Honestly, i think he would have resented me if he wasn't invited in.
DH got in the way with the first. He stayed in the waiting room while I labored with the second and joined me right as I was pushing. My doula, mom and best friend took care of me while I was laboring. Dh would have gotten in the way.
Whatever works for you!