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Single Parents
Never felt so betrayed in my entire life!
I'm sorry to vent but if ya cant let it out here where the heck can ya?
Long story short.. I'm a single momma to my beautiful son Nathan 
.
I was madly in lust (or so I thought) with my ex fiance. He got me pregnant, cheated, abused and lied about everything, kicked me out, took everything I had, then never spoke to me again.
I decided it'd be best for LO once he was born for us to try to be civil bc I didn't ever want LO in the middle of an ugly custody battle. We became friends over the past month and it had been so nice.
Turns out the bastard is married and felt it wasnt necessary to tell me... has been documenting every single thing I do and that he buys for LO... and has even been recording me. Today, he paid for LO's copay for his 1 month pedi apt, then drove off and sent me a text that he will never again pay for anything for LO.
I just can't believe this. I let him in my sons life. I tried to do the right thing and be the bigger person. I've never felt so betrayed. Seriously? Marrying a woman who not only hates children (honestly, she lets everyone know she despises kids), but also is the woman you were screwing behind my back while I was creating your son inside of me!
I'm so frustrated, shocked & betrayed. Vent over.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Never felt so betrayed in my entire life!
He sounds like a piece of work!
I would recommend NOT responding to him emotionally. The two of you may need to become like business partners in regards to your relations regarding your son. There is lots of reason to feel betrayed, but try to separate the emotional betrayal from the care of your son.
He has *probably* been keeping track because he is scared that you will try to shut him out of his son's life in court and he doesn't want you saying he never paid for anything. The judge will make those decisions based upon his care of your son, NOT what a terd he is to you. The truth is that BOTH people SHOULD keep those journals of costs and contact. It keeps both parties safe in case the matter ends up in court for support or visitation.
Best of luck to you!
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
I agree with this 100%. You need to be doing the same thing. I don't blame him one bit for keeping records though, I'm documenting EVERYTHING that Josh does and says and I record every convo that we have. You need to be doing the same exact thing. If it has to go to court, then you are going to need every little bit of proof that you have. Document EVERYTHING!
That's horrible.... On the positive side Nathan is absoutely adorable and if he is anything like my Nathan he will have the best personality in the world... it's a Nathan thing
Vent away anytime you need to. We have all be there in someway or another.
I am guessing the reason he didn't tell you he had gotten married was because you would shut him out of your LO's life. I don't blame him for documenting and recording one bit. You should probably do the same. In so many situations one person lies and the other gets screwed. Since mom automatically gets an unfair advantage in the court system a guy HAS to watch his back.
That being said he should have already filed and gotten his CS in order because some states do not recognize money given to BM before CS is ordered. It is treated as a "gift" to the child and back child support still has to be paid.
So, I am sorry you are going through this. Blended families are hard. I hope that you are able to keep your emotions in check and not act differently towards him if you were letting him see his LO. Still try to work everything out and be civil- as always just watch your p's and q's.
GL to you.
EDIT: I just reread my post it seemed a little off. For the record I do thinbk this guy sounds like a complete scum bag- but unfortunately it doesn't make him any less you LO's dad. So it sucks but hopefully he remains engaged in his child's life and proves to be a semi decent male figure as time goes on. The advantage to not filing now may be that he will still owe back support even though he is recording all $$ spent on LO. The peace of mind of you filing first and getting a clear cut parenting plan in place would be my #1 priority though- especially if he is on the BC and he seems to want to be in LO's life.
Another vote for go file for child support and do it now. Here in Ohio any money given prior to child support orders is considered a gift. I am not sure where you are if that is the case, but if it is, the money he has given does not matter.
He does not seem like the type of person that responds to rational requests. If you attempt to engage him, I would guess that it would turn out much the same.
Good luck.