What are the GOOD things your DH does?

The_Jen626 · February 2010

There have been several complaining posts lately about DH's not doing their fair share, so I thought it might be helpful to share what your DH does that helps you around the house or with the kids, and how you got him to help you. Did he do it naturally? Did you have to have "the talk" with him? Did you beat him into submission with your Dyson?

sunrae719 · February 2010

DH is really great. He's fully on board with the fact that we both work and we both need to pull a lot of weight. And he realizes that there's some stuff, like breastfeeding, that he really can't help with so he tries to support me as much as he can in those.

That being said, we have VERY different strengths and standards. If I gave him a list though, he would probably do it all. Honestly, sometimes it's just easier to do it myself. I sometimes feel like the biggest thing on me is the weight of remembering and keeping track of everything to keep our life running smooth-ish.

Feb3 · February 2010

Before DD was born DH made it very clear that we're in this together, we are 50/50 parents and partners, we both have careers we are equally responsible for childcare. I don't consider him to be "helping me." We help each other.

It probably helps that DH is a little older (and wiser, hehe) and was mostly raised by his father. In his family active fatherhood is the norm. Lucky me - I can't imagine living any other way.

MrsT1209 · February 2010

I have no complaints about DH. He does an equal share of things around here and I've never had to badger him about it.

ShufflerChick · February 2010

DH does more than I do. He works better under stress and stays calmer when things don't go as planned. He handles all the finances, anything related to house maintenance, does all the grocery shopping, and we help each other with DD. I tend to do baths because she's used to mommy time, he does meals because I get frustrated too easily, etc. And he's very accommodating when I ask him for something or just need a break. I lucked out, he's always been like this. It's why I kept him. Wink

tosababy · February 2010

Everything. My husband is a much better cook and cleaner than me. He picks tosatoddler up every night and wrangles him until I get home (I work a little later because I take tosatoddler to daycare in the morning). He usually had dinner ready or is working on it when I get home. He does most of our laundry and 95% of the outside stuff, especially in the winter.

In exchange, I straighten, handle finances and paperwork, taxes and social obligations (cards, gifts, calendar, etc.).

He has always been this way. The laundry thing started over six years ago when he started doing all of our laundry because I was writing thank you notes (we didn't live together until after we were married). It stuck.

I am a very lucky woman.

electricdoctor83 · February 2010

DH does the laundry, like every aspect of it. We've lived in our home for 5+ years and I have maybe started a load of laundry 5 times and I've NEVER put a single peice of clothing away.

He collects, washes, drys, folds, and puts away everything. He also takes care of the yard, garage and basement. He also pays the bills and balances our finances.

I will glady do the rest of the cleaning to get out of doing laundry.

AlisaS · February 2010

DH and I just kind of fell in to a routine where we both contribute equal with some division of labor. He drops off and I pick up. I do most of the cooking, he does breakfast and dishes. That kind of thing.

Because we have twinsies and little family around (no one for the day-to-day) we really needed to be a team from day one. So we were.

Personality-wise, I think the fact that both of us have a strong work ethic and are by nature pitch-in-and-help-ers, neither one us would feel right being a slacker.

DH also takes a great deal of pride in being a extremely affectionate and present father to his kids, and being able to watch them alone and take them places by himself.

BoxTer · February 2010

My DH is amazing and sometimes I think he does more than I do! He usually takes DD to school (it's right by his office) and will frequently pick her up too. He has no problem cooking meals and doing things around the house and never complains. We never really talked about a division of labor - he has always been the type to do what needs doing and I don't have to tell him. We may not do things exactly the same way, but that's OK. I feel incredibly fortunate to have a spouse who is such an involved partner.

BrideJaye · February 2010

We have found a great balance. Every morning, I get myself ready and change/clothe the baby while DH prepares bottles, washes my pump parts, packs DS's daycare bag and my pump bag. Most days he helps me carry everything to the car, too. Most of the time, he'll do the bedtime routine (diaper & jammies) but I get up in the middle of the night if DS wakes up.

I complain to him a lot (mostly because it's so hard to get him out of bed in the morning and I have to holler at him every 5-10 minutes for an hour before he gets up) but he really does do a lot!

It was not easy to get to this point. When I was home on Mat. Leave, he outright said he expected that all home-related things were my responsibility since he had to work. He expected to come home and not have me ask him for help with laundry/dishes/dinner/picking up. There was a lot of frustration and arguing... when I told him I was considering counseling for us he shaped up instantly. It's amazing what a night and day difference that was. We've never been to counseling, but we're not above it, so I think me saying it out loud really made it hit home for him.

wheelenl · February 2010

He's great with our preschooler, does all of the bedtime routine except tucking him into bed, which basically I have to do.

He does most of the grocery shopping and cooking.

When I was pregnant, he did virtually all of the cooking, and the last few weeks, all of the care for our other son.

Sometimes, he picks up his piles of clothes on the floor. Smile

The_Jen626 · February 2010

BrideJaye- We went to counseling before our wedding and it was SO great for us. If you ever get back to that point, I highly reccomend it. We both liked it so much, that when we argue now, we each say "don't make me call Caroline!"

My DH does a lot around the house. He works until 8 pm every night. When he gets home he grabs DD for an hour or so, so I can take a bath, or read a book, or whatever. Then he does the dishes (I make dinner). He stays up late with DD(she's a night owl) so I can go to bed early. In the morning he wakes DD up and gets her dressed, fed, and takes her to daycare.

Every Saturday and Sunday monring he wakes up with DD and leaves to go pick up breakfast, so I can sleep in late. He has no problem hanging out with her when I have other plans, hair appt, bridal shower, girls weekend, whatever. In turn, I encourage him to make "boys time" and have a social life.

He cooks alot for me, and he's a GREAT cook.

He's wonderful.

JulieRNbride · February 2010

DH does "bed bath and beyond" every night, without fail. It is my time to kick back with a book, watch junky television, or just read the newspaper for 20-30 minutes. Even if I give him a pass, and offer to do bathtime myself, he usually wanders in and takes over. He really enjoys it after working all day.

DH is far more patient with the kids on the weekends and seems to enjoy his time with them. I am the "Hurry up! Get your shoes! Get your coats!" mom that is racing them out the door to school every day; he is the "let's stay in our jammies and play Uno all morning" dad....kind of makes me jealous sometimes!

DH will sometimes do a big chore like cleaning the grout without being asked. I tend to be the day-to-day cleaner and organizer, and he prefers the once or twice a year big jobs, like steam cleaning all the carpeting, bleaching grout, or vacuuming the dryer vents and frig stuff. Whatever works.

ryegrl · February 2010

Both DH and I work so we pretty much just split things up. It was hard for me when I started working fulltime to give some things up because I felt like it was my responsibility for the entire house. I soon realized I was becoming miserable so we had a talk and now just pitch in with whatever needs done. I do leave the finances up to him(to stressfull for me) and he does all outside work but cooks most of time also. I still do bathrooms dusting and mopping. We split laundry. Seems pretty balanced and is working well.

luvmagoldn · February 2010

DH cooks dinner every week day. He handles the baby's bath most nights and we get the big boys ready for bed together. He handles our finances. And he did A LOT of shoveling this week with the two big snow storms we had! I really cannot complain. We were in our early thirties when we got married. He was definitely worth the wait! Wink

abpdjs · February 2010

dh does 85% of the cooking, does all the dishes, gives Carson a bath every night, we swap the bedtime routine every other night, takes care of the cars, yard work, gets up with Carson one morning on the weekends so I have a chance to sleep in, and loves to take him and just play/wrestle whatever so I can chill. he also does the drop off at daycare.

Maine333 · February 2010

My DH is starting his life as a stay at home dad in about a week when I go back to work. He does almost all of the cooking, handles the finances, and does all of the outdoor work. He also cleans the kitchen and sometimes does laundry. He is great and we never really talked about it. He just did it!

Dec31stBride · February 2010

DH cleans up after dinner just about every single night. He also cooks when I'm not in the mood and plays single dad while I am away on business trips (sometimes for 4 days). He gives DS baths, takes out the trash, mows the lawn, shovels the snow, and always makes sure I am pleased in bed. Sometimes I feel like I need to pick up the slack!

He doesn't put clean laundry away very well, doesn't change the bed linens unless I ask for help, and hates putting away clean dishes.

I am so happy he is my DH!

14years · February 2010

Feb3:

Before DD was born DH made it very clear that we're in this together, we are 50/50 parents and partners, we both have careers we are equally responsible for childcare. I don't consider him to be "helping me." We help each other.

I completely agree with this. I have been so happy that DH really does see our family as something we both are equally responsible for. I have no complaints at all!

worleygirl · February 2010

DH gets the daycare bottles ready for the day and loads the car every morning. He does bedtime duties twice a week so I can go to BootCamp. He will go grocery shopping with a VERY SPECIFIC LIST any time I ask. He does most of the laundy. He is very hands on with DS! I'm very lucky. I tell him that too.

BlairWaldorf · February 2010

He's a good lay.

I'm in it for the sex, you know.

snickerdoodle27 · February 2010

My DH does a lot. He's never been one to shy away from helping with the kids or do housework (though sometimes I have to keep asking him to clean up!). He recently shoveled us out from under 3 feet of snow. He comes with me to all kid's well visits. He cleans up the kitchen in the morning after I leave with kids for daycare and head to work. We take turns getting our 3 year old ready for bed at night. When dd is fussy he will walk her around until she's asleep. He's truly a family man and I love him for it!!

Pesky · February 2010

I'm pretty lucky. DH and I trade off with childcare responsibilities and split that pretty evenly. He's good about tidying, bad about remembering where he put things. He's good about cooking when I tell him in advance and loading and unloading the dishwasher. He did most of it naturally, I have only had to ask him to do a few things.

Mini_Mariah · February 2010

Wow you all have some great hubbies!

DH is great with DD when he makes the effort. He tends to choose the tasks that are not DD related. He does all the finances, handles our small business, and all the handy-work around the house (we just bought a house and we've been doing a lot of little changes here and there). When he does cook, he does a great job.

I think he expects me to still handle MOST of the house/DD stuff because I WFH. It's a constant argument. I might be able to throw in a load of laundry or even fold a load if I have a conference call I'm not leading, but I'm mostly WORKING from 8-5. Sorry I'm going off on a DH vent and I know that wasn't the point of your OP so I'll stop now!

MegGary · February 2010

DH is awesome. He loves hanging out w/ DD & doing things with her & for her. I tend to be a control freak & clean freak. So I do nag him. He could care less about that stuff & just enjoys hanging out w/ her. If I ask him to something he will though. No problem.

I really have no complaints about him. Sure he doesn't do things how I'd do them but thats my problem not his. He's a good husband & father. He's a good son as well. Takes great care of his parents & my mom.

orchidwedding · February 2010

your hubbies sound amazing . . . mine does do daddy day care one day a week and takes lo to dr. hope that counts!

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