Do People Just Not "Get" IF?

Sarahp63 · February 2010

I am not sure if its ignorance? I try to talk to my sister about IF and how we will never get pg like her, 1st month off BCP. She knows my dx and struggles yet she responds that I am still young (will be 26 soon) and we have plenty of time. She,on the other hand is going to be 30 and says her eggs will not be any good soon. Yeah, what part of the IF part do you not get? Anyone else run into this? What do you say? LOL sometimes I wonder how smart people can be so dumb? And sorry if I sound like a biatch in this post.

jkmcnamara · February 2010

Not a biatch...people DON'T get it.

roselln2 · February 2010

For some reason, when I saw your post title, I thought you were asking if there are people who aren't affected by IF. I was actually thinking about that the other day... maybe my world is centered around our IF issues too much these days, but it certainly feels like getting pregnant naturally these days is becoming a rarity. But, then, I look up from my desk and see all the pregnant ladies walking around, so nevermind!

it'sbabytime · February 2010

I HATE the "youre still young"...oh really? like I'm all of a sudden going to start ovulating on my own in 5-10 yrs.

ugh.

LCB34 · February 2010

People who have never dealt with IF will never get it.

Just like someone who has never battled cancer will never really understand what it is like to be a cancer patient.

TinyTeacher · February 2010

I confided in my SIL about my 3 years infertility. Her response? "Well, at least I KNOW I won't have that problem!" (everyone in DH's family has 4+ kids).

When I told her we were doing IVF, she proceeded to spread the news and tell everyone.

People REALLY don't get it unless they have been there.

AimeeL85 · February 2010

roselln2:
For some reason, when I saw your post title, I thought you were asking if there are people who aren't affected by IF. I was actually thinking about that the other day... maybe my world is centered around our IF issues too much these days, but it certainly feels like getting pregnant naturally these days is becoming a rarity. But, then, I look up from my desk and see all the pregnant ladies walking around, so nevermind!

As I always say...it truly fascinates me that some people (well, most people) can get pregnant just by having sex...it just seems way too good to be true...you know you're an IF-er when you think that!

TinyTeacher · February 2010

you also know you're an IFer when you hear of someone who got pregnant either on accident or on the first try and your immediate response is to shut yourself in your car and scream.

AShoes10 · February 2010

TinyTeacher:
you also know you're an IFer when you hear of someone who got pregnant either on accident or on the first try and your immediate response is to shut yourself in your car and scream.

This, for sure.

doozer1345 · February 2010

Sarahp63:
I am not sure if its ignorance? I try to talk to my sister about IF and how we will never get pg like her, 1st month off BCP. She knows my dx and struggles yet she responds that I am still young (will be 26 soon) and we have plenty of time. She,on the other hand is going to be 30 and says her eggs will not be any good soon. Yeah, what part of the IF part do you not get? Anyone else run into this? What do you say? LOL sometimes I wonder how smart people can be so dumb? And sorry if I sound like a biatch in this post.

This is a constant battle with me and DH!! He says it'll happen when it's supposed to, and my favorite: It's like everyone else~ If we stop thinking about it, it will happen! Yeah, ok, wonder why we've been going to the doc every 3 months, oh, and the surgery I just had? remeber that?! Sooo irritating!

TinyTeacher · February 2010

doozer1345:
Sarahp63:
I am not sure if its ignorance? I try to talk to my sister about IF and how we will never get pg like her, 1st month off BCP. She knows my dx and struggles yet she responds that I am still young (will be 26 soon) and we have plenty of time. She,on the other hand is going to be 30 and says her eggs will not be any good soon. Yeah, what part of the IF part do you not get? Anyone else run into this? What do you say? LOL sometimes I wonder how smart people can be so dumb? And sorry if I sound like a biatch in this post.

This is a constant battle with me and DH!! He says it'll happen when it's supposed to, and my favorite: It's like everyone else~ If we stop thinking about it, it will happen! Yeah, ok, wonder why we've been going to the doc every 3 months, oh, and the surgery I just had? remeber that?! Sooo irritating!

my DH was annoyingly optimistic too. Half the time I wanted to tell him STFU you have no idea whether it will happen or not.

doozer1345 · February 2010

TinyTeacher:
doozer1345:

Sarahp63:
I am not sure if its ignorance? I try to talk to my sister about IF and how we will never get pg like her, 1st month off BCP. She knows my dx and struggles yet she responds that I am still young (will be 26 soon) and we have plenty of time. She,on the other hand is going to be 30 and says her eggs will not be any good soon. Yeah, what part of the IF part do you not get? Anyone else run into this? What do you say? LOL sometimes I wonder how smart people can be so dumb? And sorry if I sound like a biatch in this post.

This is a constant battle with me and DH!! He says it'll happen when it's supposed to, and my favorite: It's like everyone else~ If we stop thinking about it, it will happen! Yeah, ok, wonder why we've been going to the doc every 3 months, oh, and the surgery I just had? remeber that?! Sooo irritating!

my DH was annoyingly optimistic too. Half the time I wanted to tell him STFU you have no idea whether it will happen or not.

Yes..which is why I think I get so uncharacteristically (sp?) emotional. I just feel like if anyone (whether he understands medically what is going on) he should at least ACT like he understands..and be a little PESEMISTIC!...lol j/k

mrslovebug · February 2010

All I ever hear is "You are young", "You have time", and "Just relax". People don't get it! ((Hugs))

kthappy76 · February 2010

I'm with you, and my sister is a total fertile myrtle too. I think that it has a lot to do with the fact that the vast majority of people (like 90%) don't have T-TTC, so they will never understand what it's like to go through it. Most people worry about getting pg, not not being able to get pg. It's also not talked about openly (with the obvious exception of this board

), so most people are completely ignorant to the realities, causes, impact of dealing with IF.

QuiltingBee · February 2010

People (even intelligent people), really just don't get it if they haven't been through it. Whenever someone says something that really rubs me the wrong way (or is just plain incorrect), I just try to remember that I was in the dark before I went through IF. I hope I never said anything to anyone that made their struggle worse...but you never know!

It really does stink, but that's why I'm glad I have this board. Hang in there! She was probably trying to be encouraging in the best way she knew how, and didn't realize how off base she was.

Dragonfly1226 · February 2010

No - fertiles don't get IF. It's like after my m/c everyone started in with their stories about they had a m/c and now have tons of beautiful children. Hello - we had to do IVF to get pregnant! It's not going to be easy to get pregnant again, and we have a limited number of tries!

They just don't get it. That's why we're here

(((hugs)))

islelily · February 2010

Some people just don't get it for one reason or another. My sister has been going through IF too and is just so much more positive than me, that she still says the "you're young" and "it'll happen for you soon, I just know it". They've been trying for 1yr+ and just found out her tubes were blocked. She had a procedure done to open them and is just so excited to try again. And is not concerned about having to go back in 6mo if they're not pregnant by then.

6mo is an eternity for me at this point. In my sister's defense, I don't think she's oblivious to my worries, since she has her own issues, but I wish I could just bottle up her optimism and drench myself in it!