il vent.
i will preface this by saying I understand people have ways of dealing with loss and some people are uncomfortable or have different ways of showing sympathy. And I'm sorry if this may come out as flame-worthy, but I need to get it off my chest and i can't talk to DH b/c it'll just make him upset.
however.
when i hear my mom crying on the phone because of how hurt she is that my in-laws haven't bothered to even call her after my uncle's death... yeah, that sucks. Both Dh and I thought that they had called... I expected my sil not to call... But my mil and fil?? My mother and father called both of them when they lost their parents. And it's not like they don't know my uncle- they spent EVERY thanksgiving with him over the past 6 years and saw him at all the family get togethers. My mom's family is small- so it's not even like we have 50 people and they would've gotten confused or anything. I guess I understand not going to the service- some people are definitely not comfortable with that; even though we have to do things we're uncomfortable wtih all the time, even if it's not pleasant. But not even a phone call? Or a text message? Or sh!t, even a fb message, since that's how MIL mainly communicates?
To hear my mom that upset and hurt by them just makes me even more angry and I'm trying to play the devil's advocate, giving them the benefit of the doubt, whatever. But it's still pissing me off.
thanks for letting me vent. I'm sorry if some of you don't agree with it, but I honestly just needed to get that out.
Re: il vent.
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i just mentioned to him that my mom was wondering why they hadn't called... i didn't get into how upset she was or how upset i was. and... he's incredibly pissed. he said ihe's calling them tomorrow and that he thought they had called since they said they would. that family is not exactly the best at keeping their promises, though. ugh.
aye, brig, this is like the icing on the cake, my friend. they have absolutely not manners.
my mil never called my mom when my grandma passed away - and yes, they spent many many holidays together too and knew how important she was in my family. as mentioned in my prior mil vent: some people have no tact.
im sorry. try to explain to your mom that she doesnt need their sympathy, its really not worth it.
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Jenny,
I'm so sorry about your uncle, and I am really sorry that your in laws are being so inconsiderate. That would bewilder me.
Tania
I'm sorry, but they are behaving like douche bags. You're nice for letting DH handle this. I would just blame my hormones and call them myself.
You have every right to be upset at your il's! It's unacceptable. When Gary passed my aunt who not only lost her son but lost her husband to cancer did not even have the nerve to pick up the phone to say that she was sorry. She did come to his services but still of all of my family members I think she could relate to how I feel the most right now and she totally disrespected me.
But there are a lot of people that do not know what to say. But a simple I'm sorry for your loss does wonders. Shoot if they can't even do that at least send a card, or flowers, something! Family is family and I'm sorry but your il's are idiots for not saying something. I'm mad for you Jenny. Grrrrrr need help knocking some sense into them???