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Working Moms
excitedforlittleone
member
Has anyone that could SAHM think about quitting career?
excitedforlittleone
member
in Working Moms
I got pregnant with DS when I graduated nursing school. I hadn't even begun my career. When he was 8 months I started my first job. I'm not even 4 months into it and most days I think about putting it on hold to be a SAHM. I love love my job and it's my dream nursing job but most days lately I just want to be home with my son.
FI has told me that if I want to SAH I can but I'm just so torn because I've just started my career. Anyone else ever think about putting the career on hold? I'm going to give it time but just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat?
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Re: Has anyone that could SAHM think about quitting career?
I probably will take 3 years off, beginning this August/Sept. I like my job and have no problems working. I took the first year off for each of my kids (Cdn mat leave) but otherwise have been happily working and the kids have been in a fantastic daycare. Well with DD1 starting kindergarten, there is no daycare centre for her- so we were thinking of having a nanny. Now, we're looking at me quitting before school starts and staying home until my youngest is in school full time.
Even though I enjoy working, I do not derive my identity or self-worth from my job so I don't think I'll have any trouble switching gears. We will see, I guess. I will need to put some effort into networking in order to improve my job finding ability once I do go back to work.
Well I'd like to work part time that would be ideal but not an option.
I have put a lot of time, effort and education (and $) into developing my career. My career if finally heading in the direction I want. And yet, since I've had my DD, I think about and WISH I could put my career on hold every day. If I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. No questions asked. But we need the money.
And that being said, my SO is currently on the fast track to being promoted to a higher management level in his job. Expecting that he will be making more money when he gets promoted in a couple years, I've already told him that I want to be able to stay at home for at least the first year with our next baby. He fully agrees. Funny how your priorities change when your LO enters your world.
We've discussed options. There is a possibility we may move back to England for a short term (ie 2 yr) job assignment for DH. I could work remotely, but I may consider taking a leave of absence from my company and SAH for awhile while we are there, and using the time to do some personal things (travel, spend time with our family over there, etc).
But I don't think I could SAH forever, and I wouldn't want to lose out on where my career is/going.
Do you like your job though?
I loved it.
Until I had my kid. I'm a weirdo like that.
same here
this.
look at the birds | bless this food
Not even for a minute. I love my job and I am not cut out to be a SAHM. Even if my salary just covered daycare, it'd be worth it for me.
The beauty of nursing is that you do get a lot of time with your LO. Friends of mine who are nurses work 3 shifts a week, so they are home with their LOs the rest of the time.
Me too.
I can give you a solid "no" speaking for myself. I mean, sure when it's the first few months of LOs life, I have some twinges of sadness/guilt that LO is at daycare and I am in my office not even really doing anything (I have a lot of down time at work)... But I am NOT cut out to be a SAHM. I get exhuasted after a 3 day weekend with my kids.
That said, I am a firm believer in following your instincts as long as they are based on some sort of reality/logic in addition to emotion.
I "could" stay home if I wanted to, and I have absoluetely no desire to. I work 32 hours a week and I absolutely love it. I love my job and have a great situation that works really well for me and my family. I would never be a SAHM, I really like working.
All the nurses that I know work 3 12 hour shifts, is that an option for you? I have several nurse friends that have kids, and they love their work-life balance.
I could definitely stay home. We've always basically saved my income and my DH just got a big raise so it's definitely doable with pretty much no lifestyle change. But I don't want to. I took a long maternity leave and was itching to go back to work. To me, staying at home was boring and I love my job. I love making my own income- it feels empowering to me- and I think I'd hate staying home so much it would negatively impact my parenting and marriage.
I work part-time so I've got great balance and honestly would not change my situation to work more or less at this point.
This is a good point. I have a friend who is a nurse practitioner, but she just took a job as a PRN. She is going to work 7 shifts a month. Have you considered something like that?
This is not supposed to sound rude but how is it NOT an option if you're a nurse. It's my understanding that it's one of the most 'flexible' careers in terms of hours/ when you work.
I have been going back & forth on this question since I went back to work 2+ years ago. I made a huge mistake with my job and have regretted it ever since. <sigh> If I could go back to my old job, I'd be a happily working mom (I think).
No. However, being a teacher allows me a lot of time off. If I had another job with only maybe 6 paid holidays, I'd probably want to work part-time. My current situation is ideal and I like my job (most days).
Sure, some days I think about quitting. But if I'm honest with myself, I don't really want to be a SAHM, I just want to be a SAH napper and 4pm drinker-of-wine-and-watcher-of-Oprah. (And even if I got that fantasy life, within 6 months, I would be bored to tears and applying to grad school.)
My occasional desire to not work has everything to do with a bad day at work or a hard upcoming project, and stubbornly ignores the realities of what SAHM life would look like for me (housework and boredom and casseroles, oh my!)
Yeah, I felt that way for my first three months back at work after DD was born.
In retrospect, there were a lot of different things going on. I loved my job, but I had been in it for a few years and I was a little burned out. DH was also working crazy hours (he had just started his own company), so he was barely around. We were living in a city where I had very few friends, and my family was far away.
After I had been back for about six months, I got a new job, DH quit his job at the startup, and we moved to our current city, where we have tons of friends, and family is closer. It made a huge difference and I'm really, genuinely happy now, and very glad I stuck it out through those miserable early months. (Because they really were miserable.)
I'm home on maternity leave right now with DS, and expecting that I may have a few tough months when I first go back to work. But I also fully expect that in the long run, I'll be glad that I went back.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
We could make it work financially if I really wanted to.
However, I'm in a field where if I left my career now, it would be extremely difficult to get back into it. I love my job and the company I work for. I feel like I have the best of both worlds.
I am a nurse, and I work part time. I went part time after DS #1 was about six months old....so seven *gulp* years ago, and it gives me a great work/life balance. I work two shifts a week, nights, and currently, every weekend, so Fri/Sat only.
Contingent/PRN nursing is available, although some areas don't need staff all the time. I find that I can work lots of extra shifts in the summer, when most people take their vacations. I plan on working 5-6 shifts every year the week of July 4th, and it is great money!
We had discussed the SAHM option after our first child was born, and I was the one who said no.....I love my job, I like being out of the house on my own, I like earning money, I enjoy contributing financially to the running of our household. If anything ever happened (death, divorce, illness) I could easily return to work full time and support all of us on my salary. We put money into my own retirement, we contribute more to our kids college funds, and we do two or three nice vacations a year....all things that would not have happened if I stayed home. I have been able to flex my hours/shifts around the kids schedules, and DH's, and honestly, my DH has to pitch in every single weekend with the kiddos (birthday parties, sporting events, homework) and it makes him a better parent....
GL to you, once you get past the newness of the job and find an area you love, nursing is pretty flexible.
Baby # 2 edd 11/26/08 - Ezra Jacob born 11/29/08, 9 lbs 6 oz., 21 3/4 in
Baby #3 edd 05/04/13 - Titus Jude born 05/01/13, 9 lb 5 oz. 21.5 in
Hi EFLO! I tried to answer your PM but it wouldn't go through...I will try again!
Re: the original question. I am so burnt out now at the end of residency that I would love to SAH with Colin. Actually next year while my husband is a fellow I am going to do just that. Afterwards, when we finally move back home, I will be willing to work PT only until we're done having babies (we want at least 3) and they're all in school. I'd consider FT after that.
I find it extremely overwhelming to be working FT while my husband also works FT, and trying to raise Colin and do all the things I want to do with/for him, plus keep the house clean, cook, have a social life, etc. I am 5 months away from finishing residency so obviously I won't quit now, but I literally am counting down the days till I can SAH!