Waiting vent.....and a few questions

silliestbunny · February 2010

Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

I AM SOOOO TIRED OF THE WAITING GAME.

In 10 days, it'll officially be one year of waiting for a match. We've had nothing. No chats with birth moms, not almost chose moments. NOTHING.

Who's been waiting more than a year? How do you do it?

For those who've matched under a year, how narrow was your criteria (i.e drug and alcohol exposure, ethnicity/race?

mrsdrkwaver · February 2010

We have been waiting 1year 3 months and let me tell you its driving me crazy i have recently hit my breaking point and an searching everywhere we can . we are working with an agency that is so slow there has been no activity for a long time. they don't see any activity coming in the near future. I have been in tears I am coping by getting a puppy he is awesome. other than that with a lot of prayer and tears. we have been looking to other options like adding an agency, doing foster care, surrogacy. I told my husband we are picking an option by the end of the month cause i just can not sit and hope, I don't want to be that couple that was patient so long that we are now to old to do it. I need to be proactive.

so1966 · February 2010

my dh and i have been waiting since march:( it's so tough. you really don't hear anything from the agency. we just get general notifications of any changes within the agency. you sometimes forget that you're in the process.

hang in there. the process is just overwheliming...

waxboyd · February 2010

I know it's hard. I am so sorry. We waited 19 months before we switched and I just kept thinking it would happen. One of my dear friends waited a year before they matched. It is heart wrenching. We just cried on each other's shoulders constantly. But when she got picked she was all excited and I was happy for her but I just emotionally got worse and worse. I hit rock bottom in December and that's when we just pulled the plug. I have heard over and over to wait 2 years and a failed match or two. Well it's hard to imagine that when you don't even get an official match! I hope it happens soon for you! I know it hurts.

crystalpopcorn · February 2010

Hi! I haven't seen you around here in a while. I'm sorry--and rather surprised--to see that you are still waiting. I know it has to be hard.

To answer your question about criteria, we were very narrow in our willingness to accept substance exposure. We were open to other races, but happen to live in a pretty vanilla state.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. I really hope that this is your year (or month!). Hang in there.

PSU-NCBride · February 2010

We were very narrow with criteria except race. We were not open to all races but open to some (obviously).

Temp206787500007404 · February 2010

(((HUGS)))

We were open to considering anything on a case by case basis. Although most AA moms in our area will not place their baby with a CC family.

lisanjay · February 2010

Hi!

We were with the same agency as you and your H. We were pretty stict in our criteria, a lot of things (drugs) we said we would take case by case. We also said that if we were still unmatched at 6 mos then we would be more lenient in some categories (race, drugs etc). We were natched right under 5 mos but S found our profile agency's website and then notified them.

I know with the agency their avg wait time for couples with no children is about 6-12 mos and if you have a child/chilren( bio or adopted) then the avg time is 12 mos to 18 mos. There is one couple that started before us that is still waiting and I know it is really hard on her to keep waiting...patiently.

Hugs!

I just looked on their online profile page and I can't find yours...make sure that it is online.

farmweddinggirl · February 2010

Just wanted to send hugs to you! I am absolutely dreading that waiting period (since by now I feel like I've already been "waiting" long enough just in trying to get started with the process), so my heart goes out to you. Am hoping you get some good news VERY soon.

WinWed · February 2010

We've been in for only a little over 3 months and it feels like forever so I feel for you. I want to celebrate every time someone gets matched but I also end up in tears wanting it to be us. It's so tough.

Hang in there! It is going to be worth the wait!

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