Anyone NOT in a picture perfect marriage?

Temp449052375008045 · February 2010

Anyone ever have any doubts? Maybe your DH isn't a jackass but you just feel you've changed or grown apart?

Or is it just me? Sad

LilMissLadybug · February 2010

Our first year was horrible and things didn't start getting better until DD was around 1yr.

Aprilsies · February 2010

Me....but I don't expect it to be perfect....we both have issues....we both have faults...and we just need to work at it. Having a child has changed our lives so much and a lot of it was unexpected. Its a work in progress and as long as we're both on board then we're okay.

CandKmomma · February 2010

I've started to read babyproof your marriage and it has helped SO much. I wish I would have read it 10 months ago!

KKM · February 2010

Tonight I am having my doubts.

ibfloridagirl · February 2010

Trust me, you are not alone.

Mrs.Goldenblatt · February 2010

It's not just you. My marriage is far from perfect but we're committed to and honest with eachother.

When SIL called us to tell us she was divorcing her husband it snapped us out of the funk we were in. We had a huge talk about things and while they're not perfect we are making an efffort to get the spark back.

mabst196 · February 2010

Ours is not perfect, but I still think our marriage is a good one.

J+O · February 2010

There are moments when I wonder about us, but I do love him and know that feelings come and go. And when Jack was first born, we went through some really rough stuff and I felt like I didn't even know him... we went through some counseling and it gave us some great communication skills. We are best friends, but we can also be each other's enemy. I know we'll have a lot more bumps in the road and think people who say otherwise are good at hiding the truth. So don't be upset... I thought that post was a little strange anyways with the whole "never cheated, never plan on it" crap. I thought it was a little rubbing their nose in... and from someone who's sister has been through infidelity... I know that whole post would have upset her hard core.

There's no such thing as the perfect marriage! I promise!

FolanMama · February 2010

KKM:
Tonight I am having my doubts.

hahahaha.

Raises hand but doesn't want to give any details.

108Bride · February 2010

Seriously...in honor of the post below, I am not planning on cheating, but damn! Life is hard right now and as much as I love my DH sometimes lately I don't always like him. And honestly on bad days, it is easy to think about how much cleaner, easier, more free time my life would be as a single mom...But the getting through the bad days helps.

SBMBride406 · February 2010

No fairy tale for me! Its a struggle.

Monkeybuttwhat · February 2010

We have a great marriage but I didn't post in that thread.

I thought it was weird and what was with the no cheating yet thing...how can you be so sure Huh? ...it was just so weird.

Anyways everyone has their issues. It is just how you work through them and adjust together. If you are having any issues my best advice is try to just never go to sleep without talking or sleeping separate. That has been our secret. I'm sorry if you're having a tough time. GL

violetvirgo · February 2010

it's not a fairy tale, but it's not a struggle for us either. dd actually made our lives better (word on the street is this is not normal). i think the important thing is to communicate. assess why you think things are not as great.

i'm in the minority when i say, i don't think marriage should be hard or miserable even in short spurts.

Momma.Brown · February 2010

mabst196:
Ours is not perfect, but I still think our marriage is a good one.

this. i think we will go the distance.

every relationship has highs and lows. but if you let it, the lows are what will strengthen your bond and bring you even closer.

brandonsfuturewife07 · February 2010

ours has had some really horrible points. and boy have i overshared on here. but we have really worked together, gone to counseling, seen each other through the lowest of the lows and (i won't say highest yet) some very high highs.

i know it sounds cheesy, but marriage is about the good & bad. i know we have been through a lot of unexpected stuff together that would put anyone, even the "picture perfect" couple through the wringer.

LizzieandGar · February 2010

I posted in the thread below about my marriage and I know I made the right decision in marrying my husband. However, it's not perfect. Far from. We fight and have communication issues that we are working on. Having a baby has changed who we were as a couple dramatically and a year later we are still adjusting. You're not alone!

Stilts · February 2010

My marriage is not perfect. There is definitely room for improvement but we're both committed and willing to work at things to make them better.

mrszimm · February 2010

LilMissLadybug:
Our first year was horrible and things didn't start getting better until DD was around 1yr.

This is us exactly. Marriage can be really hard, but I have changed my attitude and he has stepped up on the teamwork, so I consider ourselves blessed. I overlook all the little annoying things that I used to dwell on that would bring me into an "I'm so sick of him" funk.

Temp449052375008045 · February 2010

Thanks for all your advice. I know we need to work on it and I know it will get better. Its just hard.

LaLaSweets · February 2010

mabst196:
Ours is not perfect, but I still think our marriage is a good one.

When dd arrived we had to adjust but we communicate which is very important.. and we also don't go to sleep angry

AEK&BGT · February 2010

We have some major issues that I've been struggling with. At the end of the day we are committed to our marriage and preserving the family we created together. I'm a firm believer marriage is work, it's not easy or glamorous like some make it out to be. Sometimes I think those that don't think its work haven't necessarily gone through emotional, physical or financial difficulties that others are faced with. It's hard some days not to think the grass is greener on the other side. Raising a family and keeping a marriage together is challenging.

Heather R · February 2010

My husband is currently unhappy and told me 2 or 3 weeks ago he is considering leaving me.

I don't want to talk any more about it, but I wanted to answer your question honestly and maybe you'll feel not alone.

beckynick04 · February 2010

108Bride:
Seriously...in honor of the post below, I am not planning on cheating, but damn! Life is hard right now and as much as I love my DH sometimes lately I don't always like him. And honestly on bad days, it is easy to think about how much cleaner, easier, more free time my life would be as a single mom...But the getting through the bad days helps.

This. You are not alone, girl!

whitless · February 2010

no, you're not alone. I love DH and we're both committed to the relationship, but it's not picture perfect. I don't have the "my life has never been so perfect" feeling that many women on this board talk about.

brooketini · February 2010

Nope, I'm definitely not in a perfect marriage. I don't care to elaborate too much on a public message board, but I will just say that you are not alone.

Kriz_b · February 2010

7*7*7bride:
I've started to read babyproof your marriage and it has helped SO much. I wish I would have read it 10 months ago!

I found that book and read it. It helped us so much too!! I reccomend it to all my friends!

Judah'sMommy · February 2010

violetvirgo:
it's not a fairy tale, but it's not a struggle for us either. dd actually made our lives better (word on the street is this is not normal). i think the important thing is to communicate. assess why you think things are not as great.
i'm in the minority when i say, i don't think marriage should be hard or miserable even in short spurts.

ITA. And I'm gonna leave it at that.

*blondiem* · February 2010

Without reading responses....

I ask you...what is a picture perfect marriage anyway??

We all have struggles. It's about perservance and common ground. Nothing is ever exponentially perfect. We have to work at it.

My DH and I make it work because we respect one another. We work as a team. We compromise. We keep it hot in the love department. WE WORK TOGETHER. It's not easy, but if both people are putting in the effort, it can be awesome.

PS, I don't mean to be snide....I didn't read the responses. I just want you to know that no one has it perfect.

Momma.Brown · February 2010

Heather R:
My husband is currently unhappy and told me 2 or 3 weeks ago he is considering leaving me.
I don't want to talk any more about it, but I wanted to answer your question honestly and maybe you'll feel not alone.

i'm sorry heather. i hope it all works out for you.

Monkeybuttwhat · February 2010

Momma.Brown:
Heather R:
My husband is currently unhappy and told me 2 or 3 weeks ago he is considering leaving me.
I don't want to talk any more about it, but I wanted to answer your question honestly and maybe you'll feel not alone.

i'm sorry heather. i hope it all works out for you.

Heather I am really sorry too. I hope everything gets better.

Temp449052375008045 · February 2010

Heather R:

My husband is currently unhappy and told me 2 or 3 weeks ago he is considering leaving me.

I don't want to talk any more about it, but I wanted to answer your question honestly and maybe you'll feel not alone.

I'm so sorry.

Mjmksb04 · February 2010

Heather, I am sorry. To the OP, I understand exactly what you mean. Our marriage hasn't been a struggle, we get along fine on superficial issues, but sometimes I wonder what we really have in common anymore.

Jeremy'sMom · February 2010

*Raises hand*

My marriage is far from perfect. In fact, recently I had been seriously considering leaving him. A week or so ago we had a pretty nasty blowout, (DS was asleep, thank God). Afterwards, we had a long talk and are going to try counseling. It breaks my heart that I was even thinking about separating, I really do love him, things are just really hard right now.

Oh, and I'm so sorry Heather.

Amrice78 · February 2010

I don't think anyone has a perfect marriage as there are no perfect people, but DH and I have a very good one.

ETA: Heather, I'm very sorry to hear that

Stellasmom · February 2010

Nope. Having DS changed absolutely everything, and we're still adjusting. Things are much better than they were though. We still have a ways to go and I do worry about it pretty often.

I'm not worried about divorce or anything, I'm just worried that we'll fall victim to being unhappily married, you know?

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