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Any one else with pangs of guilt...

jamienbjjamienbj
in Pregnant after a Loss

From not telling family about pregnancy? My mom and I are super close but DH and I agreed NOT to tell friends or family until we were between 10-13 weeks. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. When I talk to my mom on the phone everything that I say feels like a lie even though it has nothing to do with pregnancy/baby, it's just all my guilt from "withholding" info.

Ahhhhh!!!!!! I want this pregnancy to sustain and be a H&H 9 months so bad. We aren't telling families because they were so heartbroken during our loss in October. When we tell them we want to NOT have to take it back. This sucks.

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Re: Any one else with pangs of guilt...

  • hopingwaitinghopingwaiting

    I am sure both sets of parents will kick my butt when they find out how far along I am when we do tell.  But, we're waiting anyway.  Neither set knows about our loss.  This will be our first (and the first grandkid on both sides) so we didn't want to spill the beans that we were even TTC to get rid of some of the pressure.

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  • jamienbjjamienbj

    All these views but no one feeling the same! :-)

    Guess I'm the only one. I wish I was fine with this but I am an honest, upfront person and it's hard to not share something so, so exciting.

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  • jamienbjjamienbj
    This will be our first and the only grandchild on both sides (DH and I are both only children). Problem is that all the parents know we were trying, so I will have to flat out lie at some point.
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  • shall923shall923 member
    I am not as strong as you. After our loss we agreed not to tell until after the first u/s but then when we got the BFP we changed our minds. We have already told our parents and the first u/s is the 10th. We wanted to be happy and celebrate with our family even if the happiness is short lived. We only told immediate family this time and no one else.
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  • ShellShockedMamaShellShockedMama member

    I'm 13 weeks and haven't told anyone yet. I wanted to make sure everything was OK.

    I have a feeling my mom is going to be pissed when she finds out how far along I am, lol.

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  • jamienbjjamienbj
    Thoughts on telling immediate family: I asked my mom outright a few weeks ago that if I got pregnant again (this was before BFP) and told her if she'd be able to keep it to herself She said "yes" with a big shiit eating grin. That was my answer. My MIL has a big mouth, too. These two are so excited to be grandmas that there is No WAY everyone else wouldn't find out soon, too. BY way of them. For us it's tell everyone or tell no one.  
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  • jamienbjjamienbj
    imageShellShockedMama:

    I'm 13 weeks and haven't told anyone yet. I wanted to make sure everything was OK.

    I have a feeling my mom is going to be pissed when she finds out how far along I am, lol.

    The good news is that I don't have to worry about any one being mad that they didn't know sooner. Although ShellShocked, I doubt yours will be pissed for long, how could she when there is a baby coming!

    Our families will be way too happy to have mad even cross their radars. 

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  • hopingwaitinghopingwaiting

    imagejamienbj:
    Thoughts on telling immediate family: I asked my mom outright a few weeks ago that if I got pregnant again (this was before BFP) and told her if she'd be able to keep it to herself She said "yes" with a big shiit eating grin. That was my answer. My MIL has a big mouth, too. These two are so excited to be grandmas that there is No WAY everyone else wouldn't find out soon, too. BY way of them. For us it's tell everyone or tell no one.  

    I totally agree with this.  In my DH's family especially as soon as his parents knew, everyone down to his second cousins would know. 

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  • shall923shall923 member
    We are 1 day apart. I am 5 weeks and 1 day. I am waiting until my first appointment to put in a ticker. Have you been to the doctor yet?
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  • sarahandeddiejune212008sarahandeddiejune212008 member
    I couldn't imagine not telling my parents.  They were heartbroken when we lost our baby, but it was good to have family to grieve with.  I can't imagine going through a m/c without my family, so we definately told right away.  We are all happy right now and hope to stay that way, but I know I'll need them if something does go wrong and I'll want to celebrate with them if everything goes well.
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  • jamienbjjamienbj

    imageshall923:
    We are 1 day apart. I am 5 weeks and 1 day. I am waiting until my first appointment to put in a ticker. Have you been to the doctor yet?

    I have been to the doctor, on Thursday. My LMP was december 30. They will go by that until baby measures differently. I have text book cycles though, so I doubt it will change 

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