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Breastfeeding
How long did it take...
for you to get comfortable bfing outside of your home? I know it is likely different for everyone but just in general?
I am will be flying with LO when he is 2 mos old and I know at that point we may still be learning the whole bfing thing together. I will also likely be sharing a room (or my sil's living room) once I arrive with my other SIL whom i like but we aren't super close and I am worried about feeding while there as well as in the airport and on the plane. Any suggestions or advice?
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Re: How long did it take...
I started doing it when DD was 1 1/2 months old. She was hungry and we didn't have any more bottle to give her so I just had no choice but to feed her. It really was no big deal (I was shocked - I thought certainly others around me would mind - but they didn't). And, I have found that if I don't make a big deal about it (e.g. I just pick up DD, cover myself with my nursing cover, and let her eat) that no one else in the room seems to make a big deal about it either. This is a big reason why I have come to love breastfeeding. You just feed them when they get hungry. You don't have to worry about packing tons of bottles when going out.
For traveling and in the hotel I would just make sure to have a nursing cover that you can use. I have even come to be comfortable feeding in front of my brother and brother-in-law. I have found that they are even getting used to it too. You will be okay! Also, at two months, that seemed to be when DD really got good at nursing. I think that you will be fine!
I am totally not shy- so I know I'm not the American norm... so for me- this was a non-issue. But here are my suggestions for how you can become more comfortable nursing your baby in public.
#1- Before your baby is born- go to some LLL meetings. Let yourself see other women nursing in a relaxed social setting where they feel comfortable. Notice what their posture is like. Can they talk and nurse? Do they make eye contact or smile? do they interact with their baby? How do they know when their baby should nurse? How quickly do they respond to their baby's cues? Notice their clothing- is it layered? Is it specialty nursing wear? Do they use a coverup, a blanket or a baby sling? Who looks the most comfortable and confident? Who doesn't? Why? There may be some women there, who in the company of only women- are comfortable to nurse with their whole shoulder and boob exposed... or there may be a new mom who is more comfortable excusing herself from the group circle for a while to go to another room- there will be variations and I have no idea what you will encounter- everyone is different. You will learn a lot from watching, and pregnant women are welcome and encouraged to attend meetings- don't worry about that!
#2- Practice nursing at home as if you were in a public setting... once you get better at the latch and position etc... just pretend that you are at a cafe with your girlfriend, go through the motions as if you are aware of other people around you, practice the motions of getting undone and getting the baby latched without letting it all hang out (because I'm assuming you are not comfortable with that) Try it first without using any sort of a nursing coverup or blanket- just work with your bra and top.
#3 Now try this excercise again with a mirror or a little video camera (even a webcam would work) ... practice going through the motions and see if you can make your face relaxed and self assured, practice looking back and forth between your baby and your friend, making eye contact and smiling, hold your shoulders back and don't hunch... do you have a regal matronly presence- or do you look worried and vulnerable? How "discreet" were you? Were you happy with that? Do you really need the coverup? Try it again with the coverup... how does that look? Find a balance that you are happy with. It's my belief that women can shape people's reactions to them by the posture they convey- and if you are ashamed- people will treat you as if you are doing something shameful, if you are afraid, people will be hostile, if you are proud- people will be admiring, if you are happy, people will be comfortable. You actually have a lot of control over the situation.
#4 Practice nursing in public and discover your own comfort zone. I don't think that all women should have to feel comfortable nursing in all situations... heck- there are situations I don't even like being in- so I'm certainly not going to like nursing in that situation! See if you can go out to public places and try it. Take a friend or your husband, and make the goal of the outing to nurse somewhere you had not before. First you may go for private public places- I'm sure you know of a fancy powder room off the restroom at a nice department store... that's a great place to start- it's cosy, clean, quiet, women only and almost private. Then maybe move on to a quiet park bench with your friend.. out in sunlight with fresh air- that's a new experience. Going out to eat- you can select a table that will help you have privacy- know this in advance and you won't be stuck up at the front door... get a booth in a corner and then have your friend take the seat facing out- from that place- almost no one will even see you- but you'll be doing it!
#5 You don't have to go into stealth mode... it's OK to involve the people around you- if you suddenly start acting like a deer in the headlights- they will not know how to react either- but if you give them a way to relate to you- they will also relax... For example- you can make you needs known (like at Bob Evans, say- "I might need to nurse the baby during dinner so I'd love if we could be seated at THAT table."... then when you meet your waiter tell him- "I'm nursing- so I'm going to drink more water than any other customer tonight!" (you let him know to keep your glass topped off- AND- he won't be surprised if he comes to your table and you are nursing- you have let him know you are comfortable with his knowing this fact about you.) You can also use humor- like if you have to nurse when your BIL is present- "I have to nurse the baby now... I'm getting pretty good at this so there shouldn't be any milk spraying- just keep talking and no one will get hurt." or "look Elvis!" Joking around like that, can let people know that you are comfortable and they don't need to leave the room.
Best wishes- you can do this!!
it took me a few weeks, but after that i nursed everywhere without a cover. he didnt like them (covers), and i dont blame him, i wouldnt like to be covered up when i eat either!
my philosophy ... god made us a certain way so we could feed our young. thats what they are there for and Ill be damned if im embarassed to feed him anywhere i please.
not one person has ever said anything to me or even looked at me a funny way.
dh was unconfortable at first, and i told him to get over it. and he did.