Joint Adoption?
Two*True
member
Yesterday I spoke with another potential family lawyer for our second parent adoption. Today I received an email from the head of the law firm explaining in greater detail the adoption pros and cons for SS couples in our county. She herself is a lesbian who has adopted two children with her partner.
In her email she mentioned that she will often reccommend SS couples go through a joint adoption instead of a second parent adoption. She said this avoids the language of the second parent adoption statue that uses words like 'single parent' and 'husband'.
So basically, to avoid the word 'husband' I would be adopting my own child. I get where she's coming from, it just struck me as odd at first. Of course I'll do whatever is best legally.
Has anyone else, who is legally able to do a 2nd parent adoption in your state, run into this option?
Re: Joint Adoption?
She mentioned her recommendation is usually for couples who aren't legally married. She said because we are married and NY recognizes that, we could choose either option. I don't think I like the idea of having my rights terminated only to then turn around and adopt, but I'll need to learn more about that.
The courts here in our county shouldn't be an issue. We have 3 family court judges. One is a lesbian (I used to work with her partner and am wondering if I can get any strings pulled
), another is G/L friendly, and the third has had his ruling against G/L overruled from higher courts so he has learned his lesson. Courts shouldn't be an issue - we just need to choose a direction.
Late to the commenting party...
Anyhoo, we're in the process of doing our second second-parent adoption, and the lawyer has never mentioned another option. Since she is the one crafting the pleadings and motions, she uses very gender-neutral language, and presses the issue with the state records office until the birth certificate reads "parent" and "parent." (During the last process, our daughter had four versions of her birth certificate before they got it just right. I was listed as "unknown," then "father," then "mother", then "parent." Whew!)
If the issue is semantics rather than substance, I would stick with second-parent adoption, ensuring that there is never a time that your child is without at least one fully-recognized parent.
I'm sure it's overkill on my part, but as a non-bio parent, I am tightly protective of my childrens' statuses. I carry a copy of my daughter's adoption decree and birth certificate whenever we travel, and will not visit states that might challenge our legal relationship. (Yes, Florida, I'm talking about you again!)