- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Pregnant after a Loss
kristinem17
member
By Birth Story and PIP - LONG
kristinem17
member
First of all, a huge Thank You to myafoo for not only surprising me with a wonderful gift from my BRU registry which I opened at my shower on Saturday, but also for keeping in touch with me and updating you gals! You are the best!
So as you may recall, I was diagnosed with IUGR around week 29 and was scheduled for induction/c-section on the 9th (next Tuesday). In addition to that I had been dealing with low to borderline amniotic fluid. Well as it would be, Baby V couldn't wait that long. In fact, I think he was just holding out for the baby shower! I am SO fortunate that a good friend of mine was in town for my shower and was staying with me for 4 days. Had she not have been with me over the weekend, I would have been alone for this whole experience.
I didn't feel well Saturday night after my shower. I threw up ( I hadn't thrown up all pregnancy) and couldn't eat anything. Even drinking water was not appealing. I had a hard time getting to sleep. Sunday we had lunch at Panera and I was pleased that I managed to eat something, but still felt off. Had different type of pressure/pains in the pelvic area that were making it uncomfortable to sit down or get in my car and drive. I continued on however, shopped a BBB and even went to Blockbuster to rent movies. That night again I threw up, again couldn't eat anything.... I began to feel very anxious, nervous, over heated, was pacing around, my mind racing. I was getting nervous about my upcoming Peri appointment and the update on Baby V's growth and the impending c-section that I didn't want ... I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep so I asked my friend to lay with me in my bed and watch the Grammy's to see if maybe I might relax if I wasn't alone in my room. I put a cool cloth over my head and tried to just forget about everything. I had the fan blowing right on me and a heat pack on my mid back too. Crazy hormones all over the place. My friend gave me an Ambien and after about 30 minutes of pacing my room I finally dozed off at midnight.
At 3am I woke up for a usual pee break only to discover my undies were totally soaked! I wasn't in pain of any kind and hadn't felt it happening. I went to the bathroom to have a look and it wasn't urine and didn't smell funny, was just a clear wet and mucus type liquid. I figured it had to be amniotic fluid. I ran upstairs to our guest room to wake up my friend (she had returned to her room at some point apparently) and it took me 3 calls of her name to wake her butt up - she too had taken an Ambien and was zonked. She finally woke up and I told her that I thought my water had broken. She was like WHAT?! Are you serious?! So she got dressed, I went back downstairs and got dressed. We threw my pre-packed bags into the car and I remembered my digital camera, my pillows (total life saver by the way) my daily bathroom stuff... and then she drove me to L and D. I remember calling my OB at 3:30am or so to tell him.
When I got the hospital my jeans were SOAKED. All the way I was thinking WTF... I thought I had low amniotic fluid?!! So they checked me in, got me to a room, checked my discharge to confirm it was amniotic fluid and then the IV went in... I arrived there with only 1cm of dialation. Within 2 hours (without any meds) my cervix was paper thin and I had progressed to 2cm. Then I got some pain meds and then the super hot anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural which was so easy and fast 
I also got the pitocin right after that around 10:00am I think it was. OB said to count on 1cm of dilation per hour, so I was thinking another 7-8 or so, maybe be pushing around 5pm... well nope - the contracts starting come in and I went from 2cm to 10cm in 3 hours! Holy crap - I was going to have this baby before 2pm! All the while, from arrival until just before pushing time came, the amniotic fluid kept pouring out.
My OB came back at 1:10pm and checked my cervix and could see the baby's head already it was right there ready to be pushed. So from there, with each contraction I pushed "like I was super mad and wanted to kick someone's a$$" it was my OB kept telling me. I pushed 8-10 times and at 1:50pm Nikolas arrived. I remember Dawn (myafoo) calling me at some point during the pushing and I answered.. ha ha! I had to because it could have been DH calling from the ship or my Mom calling from Peru and I didn't want to take my chances and lose the call. My labor was going well, I wasn't in pain, the mood was fun and I was able to talk, so even though I saw it said myafoo on my phone, I was like, why not?! Once Nikolas was out my OB asked me to cut the cord! Uh, say what? I didn't even think twice though.. I did it. He put the scissors in my hand and placed them right were the cut needed to be done. After Nikolas was placed on my chest and I cried a river. I had only 2 very small interior tears that my OB stitched up. Let me tell ya, the recovery down there is a bi!ch.
DH was scheduled to leave the ship today, Thursday. So he was not there. I am getting choked up just writing this now. It has really effected me deeply that he missed out on such a life changing experience. I don't know how long it will take me to get over it. It deeply saddens me that he wasn't home to take me to L & D, to help me through the pains, the pushing and most of all to be there to find out together what the gender was -something we have been looking forward to and envisioning for so long. I was a wreck before pushing as it all came suddenly crashing down on me. I was overcome with sadness in what should have been happiness and excitement. I kept saying "it wasn't supposed to happen this way." I mean after TTC, having the m/c, then having to go through IVF ... and now the birth was just me. My friend did her best to console me, but there was just no controlling the emotions. I had to think to myself that Baby V had other plans and it was God's will. Fortunately I was able to get through to the ship to tell DH I was in L & D and then again later to tell him that he was a father and that Nikolas was here. I didn't tell anyone else that the baby h ad arrived until I was able to reach him DH on the ship. He had to be the first to know.
In the end, the hospital didn't let me stay until today afterall and so I left there last night, my neighbors picked me up - I will spare you the details, but you can imagine how it felt to be in my car, sitting in the back seat, with Nikolas next to me in his car seat on our way home for the first time, but only our neighbor is driving us and the house will be empty on our arrival. It was not what I wanted or had ever imagined for us.
DH arrived this morning at about 10am. He came in with a bouquet of flowers and was so happy to find me with Nikolas in my arms, breastfeeding He wrapped his arms around us and I cried and cried and cried. I was happy to finally be together, the 3 of us, but so so sad for what should have been and for what I will never get back.
I am trying to focus on the great things about the experience - like that fact that my friend was with me, that my labor was smooth and fast, that I delivered vaginally and didn't have to have the surgery, that my OB was really funny and make the process easy, that Nikolas was born weighing 5.9 lbs and not the estimated 4.8 they had anticipated, that he scored 9-9 on his Apgar despite his size, that his lungs and all other vitals were perfect even though he was born at only 36 weeks and 1 day. He truly is a miracle and a blessing.
Not sure if myafoo posted the photo I sent her, so here is one you can check out. Thanks for all of your support - this board has been such a great source of frienship and strength for me. I can't wait to see you on PAL
- Kristine
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: By Birth Story and PIP - LONG
I am so sorry your DH was not there. That must have been really crummy. I started to tear up when I read him coming home I could only imagine what an emotional moment that must have been.
I am happy though that everything went smoothly and you and Nikolas are doing well.
Good Luck!
I am in tears reading all of this!!
Your son is beautiful & you & your DH have an amazing future all together!!
OMG I am sobbing here at my desk reading this!!!
HUGE congratulations to you and your DH. I am so sorry that he couldn't be there for Nikolas' birth but you will have mnay many years to celebrate his life together now.
Hi Kristine
I am so glad to know Nikolas arrived and is a perfect, gorgeous baby! I can only imagine the pain and sadness that you and DH will always feel for him not being there. I know it is hard, but lets focus on the good stuff now
He is home, baby is home and perfect, you are doing good!!!!! Not everything works how we plan and hope, and that sucks
Again, I am so super happy for you and your family.
Lots of Love to you all.
Nikolas is beautiful and I'm so glad he's here & healthy. Your story made me cry... I'm so sorry your DH wasn't able to be there. That's one of my biggest fears since my DH travels across the country every 2-3 weeks.
Congrats to you and your beautiful family!
natural m/c 3.28.08,
My Blog
Congratulations on little Nikolas being born, and so healthy! He is so cute!!
It must have been so difficult not having DH there for the birth. I can only imagine what they would be like. But at least he was able to come home soon after to meet his little man, and give you support.
Can't wait to join you on PAL!
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
After 1 year of TTC#2 BFP May 2011 m/c #3 4w2d. Off to RE.
Round 1: Femara + Ovidrel +TI = BFP! EDD 2/20/12
2IF does not always equal 3IF...Surprise!
What a gorgeous baby!
I'm so sorry your DH missed the birth, but there is a lifetime of memories that you guys will share to look forward to!
I'm so happy for you!! Everything sounds perfect except DH missing it :-( I have this fear the same will happen with me and DH. He's away until about a week before I'm due. Luckily, he's not on a ship but it's a 16 hour drive/ 2 hour plane ride :-S. We shall see...
So glad Nikolas was a great weight and is perfectly healthy!
Congrats mama!
So happy for you! Try and focus on the positive things - a beatuiful, happy, and healthy baby! The three of you will have lots of memories to build together for the rest of your lives. (Although I would be upset too).
Nikolas is adorable! Congrats to you and DH!
10/08 Clomid Cycle #1 = m/c 11/7/08 (6 weeks)
03/09 Clomid Cycle #2 = BFN
3 rounds of Femara + Ovidrel + IUI =BFN
10/18/09 2nd Break Cycle (post HSG) before IVF #1 = BFP!
? The world thought I had it all, but I was waiting for you. ?
Labor Buddy to Megjr8