How do you tell your family to BACK OFF!?

WearingRed · February 2010

I am looking for NICE ways to tell my family I want the first two hours after my baby is born to be just me, DH and baby with need medical staff when needed. I want to do the skin to skin thing and I am really shy and don't want my MIL, SIL, GMIL, Mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers... you get the picture to see my boobs. Yes I will talk about the girls till the cows come home but I don't like showing them off to family and friends.

How would you tell your family to back off, this is our time and each will get to hold BabyRed just as soon as we are back to normal without sounding Bitchy?

erinkate23 · February 2010

We're not telling them.

As in - when I go into labor, we're not ringing the labor bell and annoucing it to family. We'll tell people the baby is born after the baby is born. So, it'll take them a few hours to get to the hospital.

The only exception here is my mom, who is my doula, and she knows the drill. My dad may or may not be welcome soon after birth - but he's totally cool with it and understands.

knelli · February 2010

You can tell them that your hospital implements the "Golden Hour"... this is where the first hour after birth no one is allowed in the room but mom, dad and baby.. nurses may come and go quietly if they need to do something with the baby (in the room).

THis is what our hospital does and I believe almost all "Baby Friendly" hospitals... it will buy you an hour, I dont know about much more than that. I think after that hour we are going to let family in slowly....

sydney0928 · February 2010

erinkate23:

We're not telling them.

As in - when I go into labor, we're not ringing the labor bell and annoucing it to family. We'll tell people the baby is born after the baby is born. So, it'll take them a few hours to get to the hospital.

This is exactly what I'm doing. I don't want them all there waiting. Plus, I want to make sure everything goes well and we have a healthy baby for them to see first.

WearingRed · February 2010

knelli:
You can tell them that your hospital implements the "Golden Hour"... this is where the first hour after birth no one is allowed in the room but mom, dad and baby.. nurses may come and go quietly if they need to do something with the baby (in the room).

THis is what our hospital does and I believe almost all "Baby Friendly" hospitals... it will buy you an hour, I dont know about much more than that. I think after that hour we are going to let family in slowly....

I would but my SIL is delivering at the same hospital about a month after me. I don't think I could get away with it.

MrsDCruz · February 2010

erinkate23:

We're not telling them.

As in - when I go into labor, we're not ringing the labor bell and annoucing it to family. We'll tell people the baby is born after the baby is born. So, it'll take them a few hours to get to the hospital.

The only exception here is my mom

THIS.

lil_rhody · February 2010

I also agree with the not telling! That's my plan at least!

luvsbunny · February 2010

I asked my OB to say to everyone at the time: We need a moment, everything is ok and you'll be able to see them in a couple hours....

She said she does that all the time

kellieok · February 2010

If I were in your shoes I think I would either not tell them like erinkate said until after the baby is born or if you need to tell them in advance, I would just sit them down and say something like "Since this baby is so special to us, DH and I would really like the first couple of hours after the baby is born to ourselves. Would you mind if we called you after the baby is born or if we call when when I go into labor to can you wait to come see me and the baby in the hospital after I call you back to let you know our bonding time is done." Something to that effect to say that you feel the few hours of the babys life should be a bonding experience between just you, DH, and your LO.

eggymaye · February 2010

We are doing a two pronged approach. First DH absolutely will not call anyone until we are both comfortable and ready to see people. (Family is like 20 minutes away from the hospital). Secondly, DH will be the "bad guy" and will tell everyone that he doesn't want too many people at the hospital and he will call them when we are ready to see people, just in case someone tries to be sneaky.

uagirl · February 2010

I'm letting the nurses handle that one. We will let our wishes for time alone after the birth be known as soon as we check into the hospital. A friend who works at the hospital told me they usually tell families "Mother and baby are doing fine, but need some time for recovery. We will let you know as soon as they are ready for visitors."

I'm also requesting they not be allowed to hover our in the hall around my door like they did with SIL.

Graciesue · February 2010

erinkate23:

We're not telling them.

As in - when I go into labor, we're not ringing the labor bell and annoucing it to family. We'll tell people the baby is born after the baby is born. So, it'll take them a few hours to get to the hospital.

This is what we did with DS and what we will do with the next LO.

OregonMama · February 2010

I say just be honest. Tell them how important it is to you. After our baby is born we've already told everyone that the first person in will be my daughter (she may be in there for the birth, but if it gets to a point she can't handle it, she can wait in the waiting area with my mom). After DH, DD and I have all had our family time with the baby, then our moms can come in. Since we are giving birth at the birth center, we won't stay longer than 12 hours, so we are asking everyone else to wait until we are home to come see us.

KelzinBoston · February 2010

We won't (and didn't) call anyone until we were in our recovery room settled in.

Our hospital also has very strict visiting hours and policies.

andrea z · February 2010

erinkate23:

We're not telling them.

As in - when I go into labor, we're not ringing the labor bell and annoucing it to family. We'll tell people the baby is born after the baby is born. So, it'll take them a few hours to get to the hospital.

The only exception here is my mom, who is my doula, and she knows the drill. My dad may or may not be welcome soon after birth - but he's totally cool with it and understands.

This... our only exception will be my mom if DH is not here with me. My mom is going to be with me during the delivery if DH can't be here.

Otherwise, everyone will be called after baby is here...

jmwater7 · February 2010

our hospital changed their visiting hours due to H1N1, you can only visit during 3-8. My family lives an hour and 20 min away so they won't be there right away. ILs know dh and I want time to ourselves.

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