Discipline to stop whining?

CrunchOoEezyMama · February 2010

Hi ladies. This is my first post on this board, but I'm an old regular on the EFF board. Anyway, I need some advice. I need some strategies to deal with my daughters constant whining. She whines about everything. She doesn't do this with my husband, just me. I don't want to use any sort of harsh discipline methods, I just need other ideas. WDYT?

MrsAmers · February 2010

"Mommy can't understand you when you whine. Please use your nice voice and I would be happy to help you." Ignore whining for 2-3 minutes.

Rinse and repeat. Over and over and over again.

blondie75 · February 2010

Ditto the pp."I'm sorry, Mama doesn't understand what you are saying. Can you please use a nice voice (or use your words)."

jenifairies · February 2010

Have you read happiest toddler on the block? It seems stupid when you read it, but it really does work! I'm not sure how many words your DD has, but mine doesn't have many. Assigning a feeling/word to what they're feeling makes a huge difference in whining/fits. I'm not sure what she whines about, but when my DD is complaining about something, I tell her "mommy needs to do X. Do you want to play with your blocks or harmonica?" or something like that. It gets her distracted.

If she still whines about everything, I'd treat it like a tantrum and Ignore! Giving them attention for negative behavior reinforces it. When she stops whining, give her a hug, tell her how much you appreciate her being a big girl and using her words, etc.

It's SOO much easier to be positive and pro-active on the whining/tantrums than to discipline after the fact. Most children get even more worked up if you go the route of "NO whining!"

jen_and_tom · February 2010

I usually take it as a sign that I'm not giving her enough attention. I usually don't react to a whiny voice but if she's crying-whining I ask her to use her words. If I can't stop what I'm doing I usually try to empathize and say something like "I know you'd really like to play with the computer right now but mommy is using it. I'm going to do 5 more minutes and then you can have a turn" If I can stop what I'm doing, I try to take some time to engage in some play together and give her my complete focus.

JulieandBen · February 2010

I ask my son to repeat whatever it is he's saying or asking in a big boy voice. We do lots of repeating in this house.

CD+AL · February 2010

Ditto several other responses. I just say that I can't understand him when he's whining and that I need him to calm down and try again. I've also taught him to take a deep breath by asking him to do it and by showing him how/doing it with him to help him relax when he's upset, and that helps too. If that still doesn't work, I usually ask him to go find something to do and make suggestions of some of his favorite calm activities (ex. reading books) by himself until he can come back and talk to me without whining.

I've found that for DS whining is usually a sign of being too frustrated and often too tired. If I can get him past that, he does really well. I'm amazed at the difference between him and my niece who is roughly his age (slightly older). She's a horrible whiner, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that if she keeps whining/crying long enough and loud enough she'll get her way. She doesn't do it with me for more than about 5 seconds b/c I do the same thing with her that I do with DS, and I've never backed down. I never ignore them when they're whining, and I acknowledge their feelings. However, I don't tolerate the behavior at all.

CONSISTENCY! This is the key!

Want a personalized experience?

Discipline to stop whining?

Re: Discipline to stop whining?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards