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Jodi
I'm sorry but this isn't meant to be mean but I can't see you do this day after day.
You are my husband. My husband is bi-polar. He never has any motivation EXCEPT when it comes to himself. Have you ever asked yourself how you can motivate yourself to plan and go on vacations, or do what you want to do like go on NKOTB cruises and concerts, but yet you can't motivate to change your own kids diets?
Because YOU aren't getting anything from it. Its a symptom of a bigger issue. His problem was the same. No therapist could help him. No medication worked. He was a lost cause. Turns out he wasn't even telling the doctor the truth at therapy. He was leaving out stuff. He didn't want to make himself look bad. He didn't want to look as "sick" as he felt.
Take our kids out? He was too tired. Help me around the house? Too busy.
Go out with the guys for Sunday football? He was there!
He was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. He had to find a doctor that specialized in dual diagnosis disorder.
I know you are miserable, but you are creating that misery. And you are passing your misery to your children. They don't deserve that.
Start getting it together. Ask for help. You will go to the end of the earth to meet Donnie, go to the end of the earth for YOU. Call a crisis helpline, look up dual diagnosis doctors in CT. Get off the social networks and use that time to get it together. Once you start helping you, you won't be so miserable anymore.
I don't mean to be harsh, but I've been on the other side of the coin and its not pretty to watch.
((hugs))
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Jodi
SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH! --- I know!
I have seen 4 (well really 5 but we won't count the one that was court ordered at age 18)....different doctors. Never once have I had a "diagnosis" --- and not sure if you see my posts on here, but if there is one thing I can say about myself, it's that I'm aware (and I share). I tell the therapists the same things I say here -- I almost WISH there was some clinical name for the BS that I live with (by being me). Maybe, then maybe, I would feel justified and could move past.
But a big part of this is that I am narcissistic and no one knows what it's like. You can tell me you do --- but I will think in my head "oh, they have no clue! No idea what it's like living the life I led, being me day in and day out!"
SICK! It's FUCKINGSICK! And TIRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever tried an inpatient center? Honestly like checking in and getting help for a while? You don't have to be an addict. Or once you get insurance try going to a bigger medical center? You aren't going to get the proper treatment without a true diagnosis. That can make a world of difference.
My big fear is that this came after the birth of our first child (second one was an oops but happy nonetheless) and could possibly affect our children, especially if he wasn't treated. At least treated, they won't suffer from the effects of his illness.