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3rd Trimester
what do i do with the baby?
ok, so in the past day or so i've started realizing that i actually need to plan for where LO will go (not that i didn't realize this before, but now it's a reality)...i get a haircut, i set the next appt. i have one tomorrow and will set one for when i'm 39 wks, but at that appt, i have to actually have a plan for what to do w/LO! this is just one of those reality moments that hits you that you're having a baby!
then today, we got a save the date in the mail for a wedding...what do i do with the baby? i know, a sitter...but when will i actually feel comfortable doing that? i'm so afraid to commit to anything w/o knowing how it's going to be, what challenges we will face, etc.
it just hit me that i am at the point where things are starting to come up and LO will be here at that time, so i have to plan ahead...now! it's the weirdest feeling. i know it's irrational to think i won't want to leave him with anyone or i won't want to do anything...there's just so much unexpected and unknown hanging in the wind out there. i know it will be totally fine and all work itself out.
for those who have kids, when did you feel comfortable taking the baby out in public (for a walk, to go grocery shopping, etc.)? and when did you feel comfortable letting them stay with a sitter?
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Re: what do i do with the baby?
going for a walk - as soon as I could walk. I know we took DD to the mall at 1 week pp since I needed bigger bras, etc. We were out to eat dinner at 2 weeks with friends. Heck I'd take a newborn over my toddler anyday.
Babysitters, it depends. If you know someone good with infants I'd feel up to it around the 1 month mark for a couple of hours. The hardest part for me is nursing...in the beginning they eat a lot and it's hard to find time to pump enough to leave them for too long...plus then you'll need to pump while at the wedding, etc.
we went out in the first week...not good at staying in, restaurants 2 to 3 weeks, babysitters, depended...somewhat still does there are some I have no issues leaving my son with at any age and there are some of those that I will just now leave my almost 2yo with since he can communiacte and is more independent, but once #2 comes they go back to the reserve list--some are just better with newborns...just go with your gut and what feels right:)
I nursed and always had my sling with me, that way i could use the sling for a carrier OR a secret nurser:)
everyone is different. i was comfortable right away (I think I got my hair cut at 6 or 7 weeks PP).
but DS never took a bottle so getting a sitter before about 11 months was impossible. I either tok him with me everywhere or was left at home where DH went alonte to fulfill our social obligations.
-I'm so not making that mistake again.
I took DS out within the first week of his life - walks, Target, grocery store...I like to get out of the house...they are SO portable when they are little, little...so for the first 6 months or so I took him everywhere with me with no problems. Now that he is older it is much, much easier to do errands without him so for Dr. appts, haircuts, lunches with friends I leave him with DH (but DH works from home so I plan these things while DS is napping)...
We left him with a non-family sitter when he was probably around 9 months old - we don't have any family here so it is our only option. I used friends for the first few months and now we have a cpl of paid sitters that we are comfortable with....
I took baby out as soon as I could comfortably get out...
As for leaving with a sitter - it wasn't even feasible for the first few weeks since I was EBF and baby would eat every 2 hours or so... After I started pumping some I was able to be gone a little longer. I think we left DD#2 with my in-laws for about 3-4 hours when she was only 8 wks old or so... SO that we could go to a friend's wedding reception. I didn't really want to have to pump at the reception so that's what kept us at the 3-4 mark. My daughter would have been fine to stay with them longer.. I am not usually comfortable leaving my babies overnight until they're consistently sleeping through the night (for #1 that was not until 8 months or so, for #2 that was around 3 or 4 months). Even then we typically don't use an sitters other than grandparents the first 6 months or so (and neither set of GPs is local). I would use my daycare teachers from the infant room if I needed to since I would be leaving my baby with them 8 hours a day anyway....
I agree with pp who didn't take baby out for the first month - especially during cold/flu season, its just too easy to pick something up and too hard to have to deal with a sick infant. For me, it was better to schedule outings when someone else could watch the baby (DH or my mom) or have them do the routine errands like grocery shopping. That being said, I also had a c/s so it wasn't so easy to move around for 2-3 weeks anyway.
As for babysitters, unless it was certain family members that I trust, I wouldn't leave an infant under 2 months old with probably anyone else. After that, I'd be supremely nervous about doing so until about 4-6 months (one of the reasons daycare doesn't work for me!!)
I had my DD on a Tuesday night. We came home on Thursday and stopped at my grandparents on the way home. We had 2 friends come over that night. They brought pizza and beer and we hung out for a long time!
Saturday we were out to lunch with friends and had my DH's younger brother and his girlfriend over after. Sunday evening we went to a graduation party with my DH's whole extended family.
And I just never stopped
As for leaving the baby, she was born on 5/20 and we had plans to go to a musical show on Fathers Day, which I believe was 6/15 in 2008. So she was just a few weeks old and we dropped her at my inlaws house. I was fine with that. We also went out for our anniversary on 6/2 and my mom watched her for us. So twice pretty early on, but that was with our moms.
As for someone we didn't know, the first time we did that was in August when she was 3 months old. We used a very reputable, oft used agency in our area but it was still nerve wracking. It went fine though and we've used the agency since (although we try not to since our moms are free LOL).
It's going to be different for everyone. There are people on the 12-24 board who still really haven't left their kids....but that's not me and my DH. We've been away on vacation and left our DD with my mom and have been perfectly okay!