Okay, can I add some additional thoughts to previous post?

r9stedt · February 2010

1) As long as STBXH continues to be in DS's life, I will never change DSs last name. I do not agree with that one bit. STBXH is finally stepping up and working on spending time with him.

2) I really hadn't made up my mind when I posted that question. However, the only real answer for "keeping" it was 'for my DS'. I do plenty of things for my DS, provide for him, love him, nurture him, educate him, etc. I don't think keeping my last name counts as doing something for my son.

3) Hypothetically, if I got married in the future (which I sure hope so-- a LONG ways down the road), why would i hyphenate my current married name to my new married name? Stu-pid. I would think that would be a slap in the face to my new husband. IMHO.

4) I kindof see it like MLM said, about asking if you are "so and so" because she kept the last name.

So, in short, thank you for helping me confirm my decision that I do want to change my last name.

mlm1128 · February 2010

And here I thought that I would get flamed to hell and back for being insecure!

r9stedt · February 2010

You are actually one of the responses that I remember by name. I was like "oh, well i hadn't thought of that!"

KoriBrett · February 2010

I said it was a possibility to change his name, not that you should. He might want to when he's a teenager, you never know.

and did you see what I added later ? I'm probably just stuck on it being so much easier for me & my parents b/c I was adopted at the same time. so nya LOL

shopgirl_07 · February 2010

I didn't answer your first post but I wanted to tell you that I don't have the same last name as my son and it's never even been the slightest issue.

In fact, in my area, most of his friends' moms have kept their maiden names so almost none of the kids have the same last name as their mothers.

So, if you want to go back to your maiden name, don't worry about it for a second. Sure, sometimes you might be called Mrs. Jones when you're really Ms. Smith, but that never bothered me and I'm sure it will be fine for you too.

CBKMRB · February 2010

Like I said, I've never had the same last name as my son. It wasn't a big deal. Sure, I got phone calls from school or offices and would get asked for "Mrs. M" but I would politely correct them and it wasn't a big deal. I don't expect everyone to remember that our last names are different. When I got married to DH, I took his name. I think hyphenating 2 married names would be more complicated then just having a different one. JMO

r9stedt · February 2010

Thank you, ladies.

cokt · February 2010

I didn't read all the replies to the OP, but personally I was surprised that it seemed like so many people thought you should keep your married name. Maybe it is because I never changed my name in the first place, but I don't understand keeping the name of someone who you were married to for such a short period of time. Yes, you have a child together and you will always share that, but that doesn't mean you should keep that name. I would think that you would identify more with your maiden name anyway since you have had that the vast majority of your life. I 100% do not think it matters if you share a last name with your child. It certainly does not mean you love him any less.

amiamish · February 2010

I hadn't thought of #3, but I agree-- change back to your maiden name. A lot of parents don't have the same last name as their children-it's becoming common.

Dougsgirl4ever · February 2010

Another reason to keep his last name is if you hate him & if/when he gets remarried when the new wife gets to write the c/s check to you every month & you have the same last name as her. From experiance ex was supposed to change her name back & never did. No problems writing the check for SS but having to write my last name on there used to tick me off.

styme46 · February 2010

I think it's all completely personal preference. And like I said, my biggest reason for not chaning back to my maiden name was purly laziness and not wanting to deal with the hassle of changing everything back to my maiden name.

Sure, it's nice to have the same name as my kid, but not a big deal if I didn't, especially since I knew that if I ever got remarried, I would change my name to my new married name and then it wouldn't matter anyway.

I see nothing wrong with changing back to your maiden name if that's what you want to do!

Damn divorces throw a kink in everything! Wink

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