Attachment Parenting

Too attached to LO?

Is it normal for me not to want to leave LO with anyone? Will it get better when he's older? I've only left him 3 times and each time was for maybe 10 minutes max. DH asked me the other day when we were going to let his parents babysit. I love my ILs, but I don't want to be apart from LO. I EBF and he hasn't taken a bottle (and part of me doesn't want him to, so I can use that as an excuse). Is it healthy that I'm this attached? Even when he cries when DH is taking care of him (like on Saturday mornings) it's all I can do to not jump out of bed and let DH handle it... sometimes I think he gets fussy if he hasn't seen me for a little while (but that's probably just my imagination!).

Re: Too attached to LO?

  • I think it's normal - he's still a newborn ;-)

    Of course, I've only left kiddo with someone other than DH once - and that was with the ILs when DH and I went to dinner (kiddo was about 5 months).  I've never minded leaving him with DH though and you will find that you'll want some "you" time sometime soon.

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  • I was like that too and it has passed. I found that the rare nights we left ds with my parents it helped to call and "talk" to him on the phone or  look at pictures of him. Even if you dont introduce bottles he will eventually go longer between feeds so you can go out. We introduced bottles early and were still able to breastfeed but he hasnt had a bottle in 2months + and now will not take one. It makes things difficult, but I just try to fit everything I need to do without him within the 4-5hr period I get. If you feel like its more then just new mom anxiety and your constantly worried and its effecting your life than you could talk to your OB to see if its normal. Good luck :)
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  • I think it's normal but today when I got out of the shower and my little guy gave me a big smile I couldn't get over how much I missed him (while I was showering and he was in the bouncer just outside of the shower).  I'm probably not the best judge of whether you are too attached lol.  I totally get you on the breast feeding thing too.  He has only taken a bottle twice (once with DH and once with my mom) and I did not like it.  He has refused it every other time so I'm thinking that will be a good excuse for me for a while.

    In other words, I think you are totally normal!

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  • I'm the same way, my husband suggested leaving DS with his parents for V-Day and I was like, no way is that happening. This is my buddy, and I want to spend V-Day with my best boys. I am just not comfortable with other people watching him. I leave him with DH all the time, and its not a big deal. I had pretty severe PPA and it manifested in anxiety while we were apart, hence the bedsharing and constant amount of time I spend holding him while he sleeps.

    You will eventually LOVE me time, I get me time every night when my husband is home. I take a 15 minutes hot shower and listen to music in the bathroom so I can't hear if he's fussing for daddy.  

  • I think it's your inner-cavewoman. We are hardwired to respond to our babies and not want to leave them. It does get easier. As your crazy new mom hormones go down you'll be able to leave him for a little bit longer.... plus it helps if you know LO can go longer between feedings and you can watch a movie knowing that you can be back for his next meal.
    - Jena
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  • It sounds normal to me, though we left DD at 5 weeks for a couple hours with her grandparents and everyone did great. I love her to bits, but one on one adult time was fabulous too.

     

    image Lucy, 12/27/2009
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  • I hope so! I cannot understand how some moms can leave their babies when they don't have to. I can't! My baby's 9 months today and I still have a hard time. I love the bfing excuse (although he's always taken a bottle). It has gotten easier, though, and I do echo the sentiment that eventually you will want me time. It took about 6 months for me though.
  • It's completely normal. He's not even 3 months old yet, so of course you want to be around your baby. When DS was that little all I wanted to do was cuddle with him-which I'm glad I got to do, since now he's so wiggly all he wants to do is roll around on the floor! I think it's nature's way of making sure LOs get taken care of. There will be plenty of time for the grandparents to babysit him when he's older.

    It does change, although I still like to be around him much of the time. Of course, I went back to work at 6 months so I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. But we still don't leave him with a sitter on the weekends until after he goes to bed, and even that is only occasionally.

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  • Thanks girls!!! You all made my day!
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