Adoption
so think i have made a huge personal decision
i have been lurking on this board for a while have posted a few times, i have one son who is adopted who is 15. hubby and i have been married almost 4 years and TTC for 21/2 with no luck. i have some medical issue mostly thyroid disease that is getting in my way. but here lately i have really been thinking about not having children of my own and just foster care/ adoption, not sure how hubby will feel anyone else made this decision?
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Re: so think i have made a huge personal decision
OK - not flaming here, but this kind of comment may not get the warmest reception here. Adopted kids ARE children of your own. I'm sure you didn't mean the negative connotation this implies, but this type of language is generally not considered adoption-savvy. I don't mean to preach, but this will hurt feelings.
Moving forward, I have a few questions: the 15-year-old son is adopted by you (maybe hubby's biological child)? Or you have a son who was adopted by another family? Either way, it sounds like you have some familiarity with the adoption process.
Second, are you asking if there are women on here who've decided to adopt without moving on to medical intervention for infertility? If so, the answer is yes - a number of us have IF, but have not gone down the road of IVF, etc. to pursue having a biological child.
Personally, I was emotionally exhausted from TTC and 5 losses. The thought of another 6-12 months of hormone shots and possible heartbreak with IVF wasn't for me. We took a year off, decided we still wanted to be parents, and moved on to adoption.
Edited to add: Just went back and found your original posts about the 15-year old. I remember you now - he was a child you grew up with, right?
Talk to your husband about your inclination to adopt, and see where he stands on the issue. There is a lot of misinformation out there about adoption, and I think anyone considering it needs to do some research to see what, exactly, adoption would mean for their family so they can make an informed decision.
Whatever happens, you both need to be on the same page and equally committed before starting the process. It's long and emotionally difficult, with many highs and lows, and can wreak havoc on even the strongest of marriages if both partners are not determined that this is how they want to build their family.
Good luck, whatever path you choose.