Second day back, SAHD having a rough time

Re: Second day back, SAHD having a rough time

• RoxyLynn member

  February 2010

  SAHMs have days like that, too.  It'll work out.

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• mindingpandq

  February 2010

  Our lo went through the same thing with her grammy but was great after day 2. Your DH will find his groove. I am working part-time and a groove takes a while, I am learning.

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• tosababy

  February 2010

  Both your guys will be ok ... your son is still really small, and your husband might spend a lot of time holding him over the next few days.  It sounds like baby needs to get used to daddy.  They'll be all right!
  

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• wheelenl

  February 2010

  RoxyLynn:

  SAHMs have days like that, too.  It'll work out.

  This. I know he wasn't trying to make you feel bad but honestly a baby that age can't be inconsolable for  "Mommy" (unless you are EBFing and he hates the bottle). The baby was just having a bad day. 
  

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• wheelenl

  February 2010

  And yes it gets easier, especially if he wasn't staying home before you went back to work. The whole concept takes some getting used to.

  I would help him find some outlets where he can go be a "man," whether that's a soccer league in the evening, trivia night, Poker night, etc. 
  

   

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• mysticporter

  February 2010

  Yes, it absolutely does get easier.  Give DH the same advice you were given as a new mom if he asks:  nap when the baby does, seek the support of others, try different things, etc. Don't constantly check FB or email, if he felt he needs you for support, he can reach out directly, he may just be venting a bit.  He just needs to figure out what works for him on his own.  Don't feel bad.  You are in the roll of breadwinner right now, that's just as important, and you have to have a positive attitude.  Feeling sad or expressing too much sympathy/pity to DH will undermine his confidence.  He can do this, there's no reason to worry, he just needs some time.

  For what it's worth, it was very hard for me when I started back to work, because DD would cry and try and hold onto me.  Now, she stands by the door and waves bye-bye with a big smile on her face.  It's just an adjustment to their schedule they need to get used to, it's not that he or you are doing anything wrong.
  

   

  
  

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• JenniferJaneC member

  February 2010

  mysticporter:

  Feeling sad or expressing too much sympathy/pity to DH will undermine his confidence.  He can do this, there's no reason to worry, he just needs some time.

  I really like this piece of advice.  He can do this, he may be frustrated right now but you are right, he needs to know that he can do this very well.

   
  

  Jack Donovan, b. Christmas Eve, 2009.

  

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• HeatherMO

  February 2010

  my husband went through the exact same thing. he works evenings and has week days off, when I first went back to work, our DS was also cranky, crying most of the day.  it sucks but yes it gets a lot easier.

   he has to keep in mind that for 9 months he was in you, and 6 weeks after he was bron it was mostly just you, so LO needs time to adjust.

   Mine is 19 months now and there are days when he only wants daddy, make him stick to the schedule and it will help.

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• Pesky member

  February 2010

  Actually likely a growth spurt or something, not missing mommy.  He'll get the hang of it.  Just keep encouraging DH that he can do it, to read up on the expected growth spurts, signs of gas, etc. and he'll do great.

  
  
  DD -- 5YO
  DS -- 3YO
  

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• ss+el member

  February 2010

  I agree with pp, they'll find their groove. DH got laid off when DS was about 3 months and the first couple of weeks as a SAHD were so rough on him, but soon he was better at swaddling, soothing for sleep times, etc than I was.
  

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