What do you consider a vacation?
Daisy77
member
We're driving our ancient motorhome to Florida in late March. DH wants to take the kids to Disney World, Sea World, Universal Studios and Cape Canaveral. He insists that fun will be had by all and while I don't doubt that...
I want to relax. I spend 24/7 with my children. I don't want to clean up after them on my "vacation". I don't want to spend 3-4 days driving on my "vacation". I want to fly to a warm beach, have a child-free (for us) dinner every night, and have zero parental/household responsibility. Just for a few days. The last vacation we took was 5 years ago for our honeymoon.
Due to our businesses, we don't have very many blocks of time to go away. Maybe a chance for a long weekend here or there and we can't even manage that because as luck would have it, our free time clashes with those who would take the kids.
DH thinks I'm being a downer and I don't disagree. I'm trying to find the silver linings (warmth!!!), but part of me is always in "mom" mode and thinking of the work I'll still have to do on "vacation". In fact, I have officially renamed it "Activity Week" 
DH is getting away for some fun but I kinda of feel like I'm taking my job with me, you know?
What do you consider a vacation? Just you and DH? You and some friends? Time away from your day-to-day scenery?
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
Re: What do you consider a vacation?
Driving for a few days and ending up in any type of theme park does NOT sound like a vacation to me. I'm with you, I like to relax on vacation. Even when we went to Europe for two weeks a few years ago, we did the touristy thing for about half the time, and relaxed on a beach in Italy for part of the time. Rest is key!
Pre-baby DH and I would take 3-4 vacations a year (usually one or two big week or two week-long ones, and two or so long weekend ones). Since DD, we've done an away weekend, just us (but it was for a wedding, so otherwise we probably wouldn't have gone), and a week at the beach with family. I still considered it vacation even though DD was with us, because she wasn't that mobile yet and happily played in a baby pool (sans water) under the umbrella while we read our books on the sand. :-) We also took turns with family babysitting so each couple could go to dinner on their own.
DH and I have always said that we will make a point to go on two vacations per year---one with the kids, and one with just us. Right now that's not happening since I'm pregnant again and DD is just 12 months, but I think once we are more established with our little "family", it will become an annual thing. (We were actually planning on going to the Caribbean, probably just the two of us, or the two of us with a nanny, in March, but now that I'm pregnant we want to wait until baby #2 is about 6 months to a year old).
And I get what you mean about taking your job with you. Being a SAHM makes vacationing with a baby less appealing. You definitely need time to unwind by yourself!
A vacation for ME is when I do something relaxing for a period of time. Right now, we don't take "vacations." Like you, we have "activity weeks"! LOL! All we do is take our "show on the road". Same schedule, different place.
I hear you!
Unfortunately, DH and I aren't able to go away just the 2 of us. We don't have anyone to watch all the kids right now.......
A vacation to me (at this point in time) does NOT involve our 2 LO's. Sorry, but it just, well, doesn't.
I totally agree with you OP. Driving that far and for that long with LO's and then having drag (ummm, I mean take
them into theme parks?? Oh HELL NO. lol.
We are taking just adult only vacation in April. 1 week. All-inclusive. I get to lay on the beach and not do a GD thing for anyone. Yeah........
OMG, I cannot wait!!!!
ETA - Our last vacation was our HM over 3 years ago
An ideal vacation to me involves less work than at home! Hotels are a must, I need to at least get out of cleaning and cooking. :P
There is a definite difference between a "family vacation" and a "relax on the beach vacation." I think it's sweet that your DH wants to plan such a fun trip for the family, however, I sure as heck wouldn't enjoy a trip where I came home 10x more exhausted than when I left. Maybe a compromise is in order? Take this Griswold Family Vacation and maybe a long weekend later for just the two of you later this year?
We are planning a vacation to San Antonio this fall. We both want to take DD to Sea World, but we are giving ourselves a few days and not trying to cram pack it full so we don't feel rushed and crazy.
Dh went on a snowboarding trip with a friend last month. We were all invited, but I'd rather gouge an eye than go along on that "vacation" so I sent him alone. lol
No that doesn't sound like a fun relaxing vacation. Is there a way you can compromise to make it a bit more relaxing for you but still fun and active for DH and kids?
Could you fly instead of drive? How many days are you going for? Maybe just do 2 or 3 days at the parks instead of 4 or 5....
Last year when we went to WDW, we rented a fab house (for the same price as a resort room) and that made the trip relaxing! The house had 4 bedrooms/4 baths, a game room, pool and spa ...it was the best!
When the kids went to bed at night, DH and I would open up a bottle of wine and hop into the spa...we actually felt like we were on vacation!
Oh, goodness.
I'm not a good one for relaxing, so my definition of a vacation is going to be slightly different in that I like lots of stuff to do. I can't wait to take Turtle to WDW and the theme parks, but it's only a few hours' drive from my house, so no road trip would be involved.
I definitely love a good hotel, no worrying about cooking or laundry, and lots of great photo opps.
A motor home road trip doesn't sound relaxing at all, though
Thank you ladies...I don't feel so bad now. I know DH is really looking forward to it and so are the kids. I just can't see a lot of relaxing in this trip for me at all. We take our kids camping a lot in the summer months so we do have fun "vacation" time with them. DH wants do the theme parks before DD#1 is too old to really care.
It's just frustrating seeing other people going on vacations and it seems like they always are on vacation...my 23 year old just-graduated-from-college SIL has been to Mexico and Hawaii in the last year and tomorrow she leaves for Cozumel with my other SIL and MIL. One of my good friends is going to Mexico for a few days in March as well. She asked me to join her (she is meeting another friend there) and I seriously considered it. However, she'll be gone over my sister's baby shower and I can't miss that since I'm hosting, lol.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
That most definitely does not sound like a vacation to me and I'd feel the same way in that situation.
I would consider a trip with the kids a vacation, but there would be little work required on my part (no long drives, cooking, cleaning, etc.). An ideal vacation would be just DH and I going somewhere warm for a week where people would wait on us hand and foot. It's not going to happen any time in the near future, but a gal can dream.
Now that you mention it, THIS is what I want. You just put it into words.
To OP: I consider it a vacation if someone else does the housekeeping, cooking and dishes, and DH splits kid duty with me 50/50. Will your DH agree to that?
I know that DH will be into the kid duty 50/50 without a problem. We have been talking about ways to make it easier to keep things organized and less work for me/us:
-We're not bringing DD#2's playpen with as it'll be a pain to set up/take down everyday. Instead she'll share the kitchen table "bed" (table drops down even with the benches and the cushions lay across it) with DS.
-We can shower at the campgrounds so we're going to convert our shower into a "closet" for the trip to cut down on luggage laying around.
I'm just not looking forward to setting camp, take down camp, drive, set up camp, take down camp, drive, set up camp one more time only to take down a day later and drive home. We also don't have the best luck with road trips...
With our businesses (trucking/hauling and snow removal) we add new equipment now and then. Usually we have to go and pick it up from a different state. In October it was New Jersey but we have also gone to Virginia twice and Kansas once in the last 2 years. I go with so we can switch drivers to get there and back faster. It never fails, something happens. Flat tire (and funny enough, the shop never has the tire we need). DOT stops us for something. Wretched weather when taking a loaded semi up and thru the mountains (I wasn't driving and GPS failed us on that one, lol). With taking an older motorhome 1500 miles one way and with our luck, I feel we're asking for trouble. I don't want trouble on vacation, lol.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
I don't blame you for feeling the day you do, I would feel exactly the same! Taking kids anywhere with you, when you are a SAHM, is as much or more work than being at home because routines are disrupted and inevitably you are doing way more activities than you usually do. My husband and I have "vowed" that we are going to do one couple trip/year and one family vacation/year and then hopefully some small weekend trips with all of us, but those would be shorter and less expensive.
In this situation, is there any way you can have family (ie grandparents) go with you or meet you there in FL? I always think of that option for us... go somewhere and have grandparents go too. That way they get time with the grand kids, we still have our family vacation, and then we can do some adult time things while the grandparents watch the kids. We haven't done this yet but I have high hopes.
Good luck, I know exactly how you feel!
Personally- I think what we are doing next week is as close to ideal as you can get. We are going on a cruise with Gisele. For me vacation isn't escaping responsibilites- because that will just never happen. At least on a cruise i don't have to cook and clean. But I wouldn't put Gisele in the nursery to have dinner alone. And I could never imagine taking a vacation without Gisele (or any other children to come)-- they are just part of the package. But that is just me.
I hear what you saying about taking your job with you--- however- this job doesn't have set hours and it never ends.
so my ideal vacation- is going somewhere that i can just have fun with DH & DD and not have to cook and make the bed. We can just play, nap and eat.
I think taking the kids along = "family vacation" and getting away with just you and DH = "mommy's vacation"
and both are good. But family vacations are never really relaxing, they are about fun for the kids.
But driving for days with a preschooler is not good. That is my personal nightmare.
We're thinking of taking a family vacation this summer. I'm seriously considering asking my dad to come along and we'll pay for his trip if he'll babysit for us at night while we're there - and any time with Pop-pop is DD's idea of heaven, so she'd be thrilled.
We have gone on a weekend getaway as a couple, and I'm ok with just a little mini-vacation like that for now. It'll be another year or so before I can leave both my kiddos behind for a weekend (just my personal quirk/preference). But I also get one toddler-free night a month which probably cuts down on my need for a vacation.
I have always wanted an RV and I think driving in one is WAY BETTER than being in a car! Your vacay sounds fun but I totally understand why you wouldn't think so!
We take 4 vacations a year: a family vacay with just us three, an anniversary trip for just DH & I, an extended family vacay with us plus my mom and sister and then, a then, the three of us go to TX for 3 weeks every Christmas.
I, myself take 2-3 vacations ALONE every year: 2 with my mom's group, usually to Napa and Vegas and 1 with my girlfriends from back home, normally to the beach in Mexico or Florida.
I enjoy each vacation for different reasons!
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11