New here (posts with trepidation) and have some ?s
Hello, all. I'm visiting from the DC nest board. Several of you ladies were kind enough to respond to this post there last week:
https://tinyurl.com/yapdws4
You assured me that the DC Bump board is unlike the rest of the bump (which scares me), so here I am 
DH and I are maybe, kind of, possibly, sort of discussing the possibility of perhaps thinking about starting to try to have a baby in about a year. The replies I got to the post mentioned above were super helpful, and DH and I are trying to figure out how much $ we need to be comfortable thinking about trying, so I'm looking for more info from all of you experienced (or soon to be) ladies!
I'm putting together a ballpark budget for the first two years, then pre-school years, then school years, so any info you are willing to share about how you budget(ed) for the following categories during those time periods will be greatly appreciated. If you think of any categories I'm missing, please let me know.
-Life Insurance (I can get these numbers)
-Health Insurance (I obviously have to get these numbers)
-Medical (dr. appts, medication, over the counter stuff)
-Daycare (my previous post above helped a lot with this)
-Other babysitting (we have no family in the area - lots of friends, but absolutely no family)
-Diapers
-Food
-Clothing
-Toys
-Education - I'd love to do public school, but just in case we never are able to move out of our not-so-great neighborhood, we may need to consider private school. So, I'm looking for education costs earlier in life and what's reasonable to put away for college.
-Child care credits/tax breaks
Also, if there are any other great web resources or books you think are must for a couple thinking about this, please share away!
I'm trying to think through everything (and discuss w/DH) because that is just what I need to do before making this kind of decision. FWIW, I'm not someone who has always known she wants kids, in fact, I'm totally on the fence, so any big picture questions/considerations/guidance you can provide in addition to budget info is very much appreciated.
Sorry this is so long, but thanks so much for anything you're willing to share!
Re: New here (posts with trepidation) and have some ?s
I applaud you budgeting. We didn't really do a thorough budget when we decided to try. I'm kind of glad we didn't b/c DS decided to come 2 months early - total surprise! So we have incurred LOTS of extra medical expenses we didn't count on. Luckily, insurance coved most of it. But I will try and help with some of the areas you mentioned.
babysitting - if your friends do it, I would be surprised if they ask for payment. If you hire a teenager/college student, I think the going rate is $15/hr. I'm not completely sure since we do have family in the area to do all our babysitting.
food - put formula in your budget, even if you think you will BF. I tried BFing, but didn't produce enough milk for even 1 feeding, so we wen to formula. If you get name brand, it is approx. $25 for 25oz. I think you use 1 can per week (rough estimate). We used the Costco brand mostly and it was about $20 for 50oz. of powder. It's all the same formula!! For solid foods, I made all of Simon's food. It didn't really add too much to our budget, maybe $10/week at most.
diapers - we used Costco brand and a box of size 1/2 is around $35 for 250+ diapers. I think we used a little more than 1 box/month.
clothing - our parents can't stop shopping for Simon, so don't buy much. the stuff we do buy, I usually get at a consignmnet sale/store or Ebay. I probably spend around $50/age range at the most.
education - in the private preschool searches I've done, it seems like it is comparable to daycare cost - $10,000 - $15,000/year.
great resources: babysteals.com, mamabargains.com, babycheapskate.com, the book Baby Bargains.
If you do end up with a ball park figure, I would add lots of cushion. Babies are so unpredicatable and regardless of all the "top rated" gear you buy them, they need or want something different. Also, you don't know what the medical expenses are going to be, etc. Good luck and I hope this helps a little with decision-making.
I'm so glad you came over here. Yes, it's many of the same women as on the Nest so don't worry.
-Life Insurance - Approx $125/mo total for two policies.
-Medical - We don't have co-pays for "well-baby appointments". So, for her medical treatment, I've spent probably $60 since she's been born. That's for one co-pay (when she was sick) and a few over the counter items.
-We haven't paid yet for baby sitting since we have family nearby.
-Diapers - $40/mo
-Food - $40/mo for Costco formula. Now that she's eating baby food, I buy some and puree some of my own. It's probably about $15 extra/mo for the food now.
-Clothing - For each size, I probably spend $40-$60. (0-3, 3-6, 6-9, 12mo, 18mo, etc). I buy it on sale usually or at consignment.
-Toys - I got most of these at my shower and I get some at the thrift store. I would say $20/mo on average. Some months are higher, some are lower.
-Child care credits/tax breaks - I have no idea. We shall see when we do our taxes this year.
Since it seems you really want to look at all of the costs, I just wanted to tell you a few other things that you may want to look into.
See how much your insurance covers for having a baby. I paid $0 to have my baby but I know a lot of insurance companies make you pay a certain amount of the cost.
Find out how your maternity leave and STD works at your company. It varies greatly but the most common standard that I've heard is 60% of your pay for 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery or for 8 weeks for a c-section. For me, I took the other time as "leave without pay".
Good luck with your decision and let us know if there are any other questions we can help with.
Our pregnancy was a total surprise, we planned to never have kids at all! So there was no budgeting or planning at all for us. I honestly don't feel that our monthly, day to day expenses have gone up that considerably.We aren't budgeters (is that a word?) by nature, so I haven't kept track that well. My aunts send me coupons for diapers constantly, I have never paid full price for a pack of diapers. We have been able to avoid daycare so far because of the hours I work, usually we have family members that can babysit for us, but a few times I have gotten friends or coworkers to watch Tony and they refuse money...I have to find a way to "sneak" it to them, or the past few times I've just made a plate of cookies, bought them dinner, etc. At this point we are not in good enough financial standing to save for his college (too busy paying for DH's college right now!) but every special occaision so far he has recieved at least one cash present that goes in his savings account. His grandparents on both sides have started saving money for him too...one started an IRA i think and the other a 529...hopefully that will be enough to get him started with college.
Outside of budget concerns, having a baby has been quite a test to our marriage, and very stressful. We have made it thru 18 months now, and I feel like we are finally, finally getting a better routine going and things have started settling down and stress decreasing over the past couple of months. You need to have good communication and make sure to take time out for "date nights" (or lunches), make sure you have couple time, in addition to family time. We have found it to be crucial to maintaining a happy balance. It took me a few weeks to really bond with my baby and get into the whole mom thing, but I love it now. A challenge frequently, but fun and rewarding too. Sometimes I am sad we will only have one, although for my marriage that really is the best decision for us. Good luck with what you decision!
Examples of some of the bumps in the road you may experience when you have a baby:
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/30097015.aspx
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/30098951.aspx
Like pp said, money-wise I suggest to people to work out their leave and if that's going to cost them anything. I'm a fed, and fairly new, so I didn't have a whole lot of leave saved up to take when I had my kids. Took a good amount of LWOP with DD #2.
Here's a preschool post:
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/30193300.aspx
And another:
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/30248086.aspx
I'd say just lurk on here for a while and you'll pick up all sorts of info.
On your other post you said you guys could cover daycare, and really, that's the biggest/scariest expense IMO. I never thought we could afford two in daycare, and here we are talking about having #3. Fortunately DH and I have jobs that get yearly salary increases, and we can always "find" money when we need it. We're going to wait until DD #1 is in public school before having #3, because we know we can afford two in daycare/preschool at a time.
My life is made easier in several ways:
Sorry, I'm going on and on. These are random thoughts for a Sunday morning! (talk about a long post)
I know how difficult it is to make this decision - we really struggled ourselves! A book I read I really like (not at all about money, just about the general concept) is Maybe Baby. It has essays written by people who have, who are unsure, and who will not/are not having children. It gives all perspectives, which I found really helpful.
I'm not sure I will be able to answer all your money questions, but I will say that having a baby is expensive. So far, we have not had to cut anything out entirely, but have scaled back. Our daycare is $1740 a month. Crazy. It is TOTALLY worth it. WE have gotten a lot of our clothes as hand-me-downs. We don't have family in the area either and place a priority on having "us" time, so we use teachers from our school as babysitters. They are between $12 and $15 an hour. We just accept it will be more expensive, but try to get out once a month or so. Oh, our little one also had a lot of ear issues, so although we have decent insurance, we were at the pediatrician every week for a few months, which was $10 a week, basically, as well as all prescriptions. It adds up!
This wasn't the question you asked, but I will say I am happy to be a mom. When I thought about a baby in theory, I wondered why anyone would do it since you have to sacrifice so much. Now that my baby is here and not in theory, I love her so much that I ENJOY doing stuff for and with her. I didn't expect that. The downsides are that we have lost a lot of our freedom. Naps dominate, so we can't just go wherever whenever. We are homebodies, but we still miss that. It is harder to plan trips, etc. I miss sleeping in! So, we've given up a fair amount and life has changed, but this little person who calls me "Mama," who hugs and kisses me, and whom I have had the privilege of watching from her first breath to her first words, and all the things she is learning, really make it worthwhile for me and now I want a second!
So, money is definitely important. We are relying on family right now to put savings away for DD since we are focused on living, paying for childcare, and paying for her day-to-day as well as our retirement/savings. You're doing the smart thing by thinking it all out! GOod luck, and feel free to come by with other questions. These ladies are all great.
We used the Baby Bargains book for good references about baby gear and what to get. I think it saved us money and we also gladly accepted friends playmats/swings/snap and gos/clothes/etc....
Childcare is definitely our biggest expense and we have kind of planned that this monthly expense is not going away anytime soon. As DD gets older- we are assuming this is just a monthly cost- first daycare, then pre-school, then school expenses and possibly sports, tutoring, activities, after school care, camp, etc.... We started a 529 for college expenses but on the advice of a FP- we made sure we were paying ourselves first (401K contributions, insurance, emergency fund, savings for next house, etc...). As for private school- tuition is definitely on the rise- non-denominational schools in this area are $20K+ for elementary and even higher for later schooling.
The childcare tax credits are totally dependent on income levels but if your office has a dependent care spending account ($5K max) it can help your taxable income.
As for medical- I would definitely check what your insurance covers for prenatal and delivery costs. I was lucky that mine covered 100% so I only paid the co-pay ($10) for my fist office visit and did not pay anything else. However, there have been recent posts on this board about insurance covering 90% and trying to budget for the what ifs- I was shocked at the total cost of my L&D ($30K+ for early labor stay at hospital, c-section, early baby, neonatal team, extra day at hospital, neonatal tests, jaundice, etc..) but was even more shocked to learn that if DD had gone to the NICU it would have been $100K for a 4 day stay.
Sorry this is totally rambling! Anyway- I felt the same way you describe about being on the fence about kids :-) I can definitely say that I had no idea how much fun and happiness I would get from DD and what are little family has become.
Yep! I had a post a little while back about Babyproofing Your Marriage (a good book). 75% of couples experience a decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of a baby. This sucks. It is a price to pay. I have found that with work and understanding, we have gotten back to 95% of where we were and just getting better all the time. It's a reality for most couples, but if you go in with open eyes and knowing that it is normal even for strong couples, that helps.
Hi and welcome to the board! I have a slightly different perspective - I am a SAHM. It was very important to me to be home with our children and when we figured after all the expenses of working, what I was earning was barely worth the time away from my daughter. We have found ways to keep our budget on track and be able to save $$ for our retirement AND our daughter's college education at the same time.
From the categories you asked about:
Health insurance. - Obviously it goes up when you have a family plan, how much depending on your providor. We have found we spend about an avg of $30 a month for our DD's medical relate expenses. Well visits/checkups are free, sick visits have a co-pay. Then we pay for prescriptions, and other things like infant tylenol, etc. We were lucky that our DD never had an ear infection, only has had 2 colds and is rarely sick. Breastfeeding really helps reduce illness, that's good to keep in mind. (DD just weaned a few weeks ago).
Daycare - The PP have given you some numbers. We did PT daycare for several months, it was $120 a week for 3 days a week. Full time daycare in our area was 200-250 a week. The centers were a bit more than the in home daycares. We actually preferred in home anyway, so that worked out for us.
Diapers - You can get BIG savings here if you use cloth diapers. It saves us so much money and time!! If you ever have questions about cloth please feel free to come ask on the Eco Friendly family board, it's a friendly board as well. You could spend as little as $200- $300 for diapers for the entire time your child is in diapers. If you're looking for ways to save, this is definitely an area to do it.
Food - We breastfeed exclusively so the cost was $0 until she reached 6 months. I've found that our grocery budget has increased about $40 a week since DD started eating lots of food. This is MOSTLY because I am buying more organic meat and produce than before. If you don't change your non/organic preferences, then the cost is minimal. They eat all the time lol,but it's small amounts
Clothing - I spend about $80 per season worth of clothing (spring/summer, and winter/fall). So yeah, under $200 a year. I buy from consignment sales (there are TONS in this area, check out the Our Kids website) and thrift stores. I also buy from yard sales, and get hand me downs from friends or freecycle.
Toys - We seem to get a lot of these from the grandparents, birthday parties, freecycle etc. I do buy some toys that I know she'll enjoy. Now that she's really in toy mode, I'll say I spend maybe $40 a month?
Savings - we believe it's important to save for college as soon as possible. we put away $500 a month in her 529 plan.
Shoes - LOL this needs it's own category. Before they walk you don't need shoes. After that they keep growing out of them all the time! And they get worn out so hand me downs aren't the best. I spend about $30 every 3 months on these.
Gear - Baby Bargains is good for helping you decide what you do/don't need. The biggest initial expenses are the carseats ($50-100 for infant, 150-300 for the convertible), a crib ($200-800 depending on brand). A lot of the other items you can safely get used for good prices. We got our swing for $30 at a consigment sale (vs $120 new). Any gear that doesn't have a safety concern (like car seats or cribs) are great to get used.
Babysitting - We pay $15 an hour for an adult babysitter.