Stay at Home Moms
What do you do when your LO throws a tantrum?
DS is 19 months and just over the course of the week, temper-tantrums went from so-so and I'd just walk away to OMG let me out of this house (me!!! LOL).
He's ended up in his crib for a timeout several times with books to chill out which helps. He even napped in the AM (which NEVER happens anymore) for my mom while she was watching him yesterday.
He now does this blood-curdling scream and that drives me bonkers when he doesn't get what he want. I'm still walking away 99% of the time, but I'd rather run for the hills!!
What do you do for tantrums at your house?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What do you do when your LO throws a tantrum?
I ignore them totally. The minute they stop praise, praise and praise some more.
I am not a fan of using a crib for time out, it is just too cage like to me and I want his bed to have positive feelings for him.
Ugh... I remember those days fondly and do not wish to ever experience a toddler tantrum ever again!!!
When she was between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2, they were rare, compared to most, but I still felt like running away! Argh! Before age 2 years, I could pretty easily redirect her to something else before they became full-blown tantrums. When that didn't work, I would ignore them (walk away) without any talking to her and just wait until she got up and rejoined me to discuss her feelings with her. It was kind of like talking to a brick wall, to be honest, I never really felt like she "got it". However, if we were out somewhere (a park, the store, DH's office), I would physically pick her up and remove her to a quiet corner or the car and just go home as I couldn't just let her bash her head open on the floor/concrete! I wouldn't speak to her so, I was still ignoring her. It was rough on us all! By age 2, she was really receptive to explanations about WHY her behavior was not OK and the 1-2-3 Magic counting & time-out technique. And, to be honest, we haven't had a tantrum since! I think a lot of it is because she's a really passive, laid-back, hard-to-upset kid... like her daddy.
At 3 1/2 years old, Emily never gets that far anymore. I only have to say; "that's a 1" and she stops whatever obnoxious or dangerous behavior immediately. She HATES time-outs and will do pretty much anything to avoid them!
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
I guess DD hasn't had any truly nails-on-the-chalkboard tantrums yet, so it's manageable to just let her get on with it while I pretend to ignore her. They're actually kind of funny to me, with all her rolling around the floor and flinging things (as long as they're soft things!).
If it goes on for a while, I might say something like, "You want X, don't you? But we can't eat that/do that right now." I fully expect the explanation to make her madder, but at the same time I'm trying to emphasize that her screaming and whatnot isn't going to change things.
Luckily she responds REALLY well to my method with tantrums.
And I don't know why.
But if i get her to focus immediately on me when she is getting frustrated- it makes her stop in her tracks and she re-focuses.
Example- say she is all frustrated over not being able to take her doll's clothes off because they are getting stuck. She starts to cry, throw the doll, smack the doll etc... I will say, 'Gisele, LOOK at mama' and i tap my nose. So she knows to look at me. For WHATEVER reason- this REALLY works with her and has for several months. She focuses on me- I reassure her/correct her on what she is doing- or how to do it- and she listens and the tantrum/meltdown is diffused.
I am not sure if its the redirection of her paying attention to me- or the way/manner i talk to her. However- for whatever odd reason. This works for us. She knows to look at mama and listen. By me pointing to my nose she knows to look RIGHT at me and focus. Don't know where i picked that up- but like i said, for us it works so I am rolling with that until it doesn't lol
Ditto this. But for the few that he's had, I ignore him.
And I also wouldn't use the crib for time-outs. We have major issues with him not wanting to be in the crib in the first place...so this would only make matters worse.
I actually have to disagree on the crib issue (at least in our situation).
DS only gets his paci's in the crib and he knows this, and he knows now where to find them when he wants them (usually when he is fussy).
If I take them away while he's trying to grab them out he pitches a fit. Mind you, this has only started happening over the past 2 weeks. He would much rather sit in his crib for a few minutes with books (and paci's) than stand there and scream (IMO)
So, if he's disappeared on me...I can always find him hanging out by his crib paci in hand (he can reach in through the slats for them).
I've actually started putting them out and out of sight so he cannot find them during the day. This is when I can remember to do so. I'm trying to get better at it but some days I forget to put them up.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
Oh wow! Our crib has a super super low setting, so the mattress is about 12" off the floor. Either DS can't climb it (doesn't look like he can cause he hasn't) OR my kid has learned to scale his crib yet.
Funny cause he climbs on and up everything else. I'm going with he just can't get out!! LOL.
I also trust the crib more and leaving to door open versus setting him in his room with the door closed. He recently learned how to lock things.
Yup. It's time to get the doorknob thingys!!
Yes, ours is/was on the lowest setting, too! Jude is very, very tall (and tricky!) ! He scared himself so he hasn't done it since, though.
Ah. I was going to vote against using crib for timeout too, but this makes sense. But I wouldn't call it timeout. At our house, timeout is punishment and she sits facing the wall. But sometimes when she has a meltdown but isn't doing anything wrong I tell her to go go take a break and sit in her chair or in her bed so she'll be comfy and she'll sob "chair make me feel better?" And I tell her yes I hope it will and she goes and curls up in it and cries for a bit and then looks at books and she does feel better. But that's not timeout to me because she can leave her chair or bed whenever she feels like it. And she can not leave timeout until she's told.