MIL Drama! I need to vent!
I'm so annoyed with this woman! I don't even know where to begin with this because it's such a long story.
Last week, Dh called his mom to see who we should invite (from his family) to the shower. She was supposed to make us a list and provide the addresses. She never sent it. Dh called her again yesterday to remind her, she said she'd get it together.
So today, she called to see if we were coming over for dinner. She always calls a couple hours before dinner on days that we've been super busy or cleaning the house. He told her we weren't going to make it because he was tired from working yesterday (Dh works 8am-8pm 5 days a week and sometimes on Saturday) and from cleaning all day today. A couple hours later she calls him crying about how we never go over there for dinner. Then she said she's not giving us any addresses because the only time I want anything to do with the family is when I want something. I have to find the addresses myself. WTF?? What kind of sense does this make?
Doesn't this seem a bit immature?? I have no idea where she's getting this and how I got in the middle of it. All I was trying to do is get Dh involved since there's not much he gets to do. Her and Dh ended up getting in a huge fight and now I don't even know when or if I'll see her again. He says he's done with his family.
Now a little backstory - Dh's mom always put her career first and her kids last. And in no way was it to make her kids lives better, it was to make HER life better. Since Dh was parentless for most of his life, he got into TONS of trouble. When Dh and I started dating, he really turned his life around for the better. She refuses to acknowledge that he's actually made something of his life all because he didn't go to college. No matter what he does, it will never be good enough for her and she's constantly dragging up stuff he'd done in his past. About 5 or 6 years ago, she started pushing for these family dinners every Sunday. She's gets all bent out of shape if we don't go. Dh's siblings go often, but we don't. The whole family thing is fake to him because she never cared about family for 20 years and now all of a sudden she wants family time.
*Excessive scar tissue, blocked tubes*hypothyroidism*
IVF #1 BFN 10/07
IVF #2 w/ICSI & AH*C/P 5/09
Beta #1-33 Beta #2-50 Beta #3-10
FET 9/9/09*Transferred 2 Blasts*BFP!
Beta #1- 2991, Beta #2 - 6757
Re: MIL Drama! I need to vent!
Whoa. Completely immature and BSC. I am glad your H is stepping in to try to handle her.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Wow. I'm sorry--that is drama, and it would totally stress me out, too.
My advice is to: 1) Try hard not let the comment about the addresses bother you. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, she was just using you to start drama. 2) Support your husband big time, as it sounds like, no matter how much her crazy is hurting you, it's probably hurting him more. This is especially true given the back story.
Wow. That is really immature. I hate saying this, because I believe family is super important, but it sounds like you may be better off without that kind of drama. I'm so sorry you have to be going through this.
Thanks for listening ladies.
I hate seeing Dh stress about this. He's so excited about the babies and his mom has to act like a fool and make everything about her. It sucks that he can't share this with her.
*Excessive scar tissue, blocked tubes*hypothyroidism*
IVF #1 BFN 10/07
IVF #2 w/ICSI & AH*C/P 5/09
Beta #1-33 Beta #2-50 Beta #3-10
FET 9/9/09*Transferred 2 Blasts*BFP!
Beta #1- 2991, Beta #2 - 6757
I'm so sorry. I totally understand how frustrating it is when the parent (who should be more of an adult) throws a fit like she is a child. My mom and MIL have a knack for this at various times.
Feel free to vent whenever you need to. I hope you're able to come to a resolution that works best for you and your family (DH and little girls) in this situation. That is what matters most - you and who you care about. Don't worry about pleasing everyone. (Easier said than done - but I try to remind myself every now and then.)
I have a similar MIL total career minded only so that it would achieve the husband she thought she deserved...a doctor in the mean time she married my fil and another guy and now finally 20 years after he retired shes with a guy who used to be a doctor....good for her and now she wants all this family unity when she never had two minutes together for my dh...the only reason mine is mostly normal(heheh) is because he raised himself...when ever he starts acting like her I always say....BE THE PARENT YOU WANTED NOT THE ONE YOU HAD!~!!!
I am so sorry you have to deal with a women like that I rambled all of the above so you know there aRe soooo many of us out there having to deal and you are LUCKY your DH would rather not deal with them....mine forgets their bs as soon as it happens because thats what hes used to... I never seem to get better at dealing with their(sil sucks too) crap its just neVERRRRRR think this time they will behave because they wont...