Toddlers: 24 Months+

XP: Need some help on correcting a behavior

(I posted this on 12-24, but figured you guys may have some more insight) I was telling K yesterday that Grandma (my Mom) was coming up this weekend. Her immediate response- "Bring me present? Gramma bring Khloe present?" She said something similar when I was on the phone with my Aunt, who is flying in town for her B-Day in a few weeks.My Mom will typically bring her little things when she comes to visit, but it's not always a given. I REALLY don't want her to start presuming that everyone that comes to visit  is bringing her something. I'm not sure how she started making the connection in the first place, but I corrected her both times (although she continued to repeat "Gramma, present!" throughout the afternoon to my MIL). I told her that people that come visit will not always bring you something and it's not nice to ask for anything. I was trying to keep the point simple and concise, but it really didn't register an effect. Sure enough, my Mom DID have something for her-validating her assumptions.Any ideas or recommendations? I'm trying to reinforce my point whenever she brings it up. I plan on asking my Mom to refrain from bringing K gifts until we get this point across, but we have plenty of other people in our life who stop by on a regular basis who bring something little each time for K. I just don't want her to get greedy and I'd like to instill basic values and etiquette while she's young. 

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Re: XP: Need some help on correcting a behavior

  • I don't know that this is a behavioral issue.  I mean, if people always bring her gifts and she knows that.... well, it's more a learned expectation.  Know what I mean?  

    So while you can't really chastise her for expecting gifts you can ask people to stop bringing her things.  Like if  you explain your reasons to your mom & other close family/friends maybe they'll understand and back off a little bit.  My SIL said to us once that her kids were expecting gifts every time we visited and so we agreed to limit our spoiling.   But we didn't stop completely.     Sometimes people can't help themselves - bringing joy to a child brings so much joy to adults!    She's a lucky little girl to have so many people in her life!  

    I'm sure this didn't help you much...  but I think you should just keep telling her that getting gifts when people visit is a treat and she should be grateful & thankful.  Eventually she'll catch on. 


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  • I would tell  your mom next time not to bring her anything, and maybe tell K that grandma isn't bringing her something that this time we  can maybe make or get something for grandma so that she will learn that you also have to give to receive? I'm no expert by any means but it may help her to get excited to give and maybe forget about getting something for herself.
  • I also think that is nice idea to maybe have her get your mom something small so she can see how good it feels to give gifts to people she loves.  Also if people do want to keep bringing her things maybe just teach her how to be very thankful and that should keep her from being spoiled.
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