"It's about time" (small IF vent)
Quick back story: I have always been extremely close with my grandparents (mom's parents). My grandfather started going downhill shortly after our wedding and passed away Sept. of 2008. My grandpa was one of my best friends and I took his passing very hard. Since the day we got married, all he could talk about was wanting to be a great-grandpa and I of course wanted nothing more than to make him one. I didn't get pregnant until April of 2009, so needless to say I couldn't fulfill his request. My grandma has always been sad about that and, although I don't think its intentional, she makes me feel guilty about that.
When my grandma came down to meet Addisyn right after she was born, she said to me, "it's about time. I didn't think I was ever going to be a great-grandma." Needless to say I was extremely emotional, especially since I had just had Addy five days prior. I tried to brush it off because she doesn't understand what we all went through, but then she said it again later and expanded with, "you know, your grandpa really wanted to be a great-grandpa." I had to leave the room that time.
Today my other grandparents (dad's parents) came down to meet Addy for the first time. My whole family essentially lives within three square miles of each other (except my mom and I) so my grandmas see each other quite a bit. My grandma told me today that when she saw my other grandma right after the baby was born, she said, "well, its about time, you know Cliff really wanted to be a great-grandpa." I almost couldn't take it. Especially since my other grandpa was holding Addy at the time and all I could think about was how bad I wanted her to be able to meet her other great-grandpa.
I know I need to let this go, but it just kills me everytime I see a picture of him, talk about him or worse yet, when I think about how GD long it took me to get pregnant. If I could have had her 18 months sooner, she could have met her great-grandpa. He would have been such a wonderful great-grandpa too. Damn IF.
Re: "It's about time" (small IF vent)
Oh sweetie ((hugs)). He is a great-grandpa and it's really thoughtless of your grandmother to keep on about this. I'm sorry you're feeling down about this. Sometimes family can be so...thoughtless in their comments.
My dad died while I was pregnant (4 1/2 mo) and I know he wanted to be a grandpa for a long time too. I went through IVF to have my son (and this baby) so I can relate to how much IF sucks. My dad knew our issues but even still, he wanted grandkids.
You can't say much to your grandma about it- some people only think about it from their own perspective and she won't understand how much it hurts you when she says things- but maybe you coudl encourage your grandma to write everything down about your grandpa so you can share it with Addisyn one day. She might like that she can give things from her perspective and it would be a great thing for your daughter to have.
I bought a large scrapbook journal and I wrote many things I loved about my dad and gave it to relatives to write their fondest memories about my dad. It's not the same as them being here but it's something the kids can have forever.
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
((hugs)) I'm sorry.
*Excessive scar tissue, blocked tubes*hypothyroidism*
IVF #1 BFN 10/07
IVF #2 w/ICSI & AH*C/P 5/09
Beta #1-33 Beta #2-50 Beta #3-10
FET 9/9/09*Transferred 2 Blasts*BFP!
Beta #1- 2991, Beta #2 - 6757
This is such a great idea. Thank you so much!