Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Offensive friend
That's so sad and wrong!
That's just...messed up.
How did his parents never bash his head about this? Mine would have if it had been a cousin, let alone a brother.
(I mean, sometimes it is important...I've had the health history conversations w/ dad..."wait, didn't both Cousin C AND Cousin M have heart-attacks in their 30's? do I need to put thta on my medical paperwork?" "no" "but...that's not normal" "they're adopted, remember?" "why would I remember that?" "from when they came home..." "they're older than I am; I don't remember them coming home. In fact, I don't think I had any idea they were adopted" "oh. Well, it wasn't important. Except for the medical stuff" )
I'm certain that his mother *would* bash his head if she had heard him talking like that or knew he thought that about his brother.
On my dad's side of the family, there are 3 grandkids - me, and two cousins. We're all only children. One of the cousins and I were both adopted, so only one grandchild is a biological grandchild.
When my grandmother died, she left her entire estate to "her only grandchild" - the bio one. Apparently, she never thought of my other cousin or me as her grandchildren. FWIW, I was 25 when she passed away, and I'm the oldest of the grandchildren.
OMG. That's so sad and wrong!
I have a strong suspicion this type of thinking may be BECAUSE of his parents. Makes you wonder how differently the adopted child was treated growing up. . .
I think adoptive parents have a humongous impact on how children grow up to view their adopted siblings, so I bet this attitude permeates throughout their entire family. How sad.
I hope that our (hopefully) more enlightened awareness of this issue will make those of us adopting now (versus years ago when attitudes about adoption were quite different) much more sensitive to the lasting harm that this type of thinking engenders.
Ok, I'm going out on a limb here.. it is possible he was adopted much later in life and your friend was older and already out of the house? (not that it makes it better...)
My FIL had a sister who was adopted at the age of 13 but he was already out of the house and thousands of miles away, so he had a hard time "connecting" with her. Well she has since died, but no one keeps in touch with her kids. Their family is JUST fil and his bio sister (who never married and has no kids) and we never have family get togethers, but I always thought it was strange.
FIL loved this sister of his, but just never really knew her or her family.
oh my gosh!!!!! that is awful! I am so sorry, that must have made you feel terrible...
It's a fair question. As far as I know there is nothing more to the story.... My friend was 6 when his brother was adopted -- he wasn't older or out of the house. His brother was 6 months old when adopted, so they are 5.5 years apart in age. I've known the family for ages, and the adoptive mom has never treated her sons any differently that I know of (adoptive dad passed away years ago and I never met him). She's a great lady and loves both her sons very much. I strongly suspect that the mom doesn't know exactly how my friend feels toward his brother... she knows that they are not very close now that they are adults, but I doubt she knows the full story.
My guess is that he meant that his brother couldn't pass on the family genes.
This makes me flash back to DH saying that about himself (only child) when we first started discussing adoption. I reminded him that is parents had illnesses quite young and that he's balding with skin issues (not as bad as it sounds in writing) - I asked "are those the genes you're looking to pass on?"
So if that's what he meant and he's a perfect health specimen as is his family tree then maybe he is right (but what's the chance of that?)
That sucks...
I'm adopted (not adopting, just browsing posts). I had a cousin tell me once that my other cousin was her only one left and I said, "what about me?" she told me I didn't count because I wasn't her "real" cousin. We don't talk anymore... That was the only time anyone's ever said something like that to me and I was very very hurt.
what a heartbreaking post. one of the most hurtful things i've ever heard.
Now I'm all frightened someone will say something idiotic to my future child ! This is horrible the first story and the others that have been told ! Seriously what is this the middle ages passing on of "family name" like some royal clan or something ?! I mean yeah it's cool to have a name carry on, but really it lives on through other branches and it's all 6 degrees of separation anyway.