Did you wait to call family

aryandnicole · January 2010

until after LO was born or did you call when you went into labor? I don't want to hurt my mom and sister but they are talking about bringing snacks incase they are "waiting" a long time. I know my mom will be pissed but they can be intrusive. I feel like they will be watching my in labor like it's a show. I have told them once it's time to push it's just DH but now I don't even want to call until after.

HisMrs07 · January 2010

I told dh previously that we werent calling anyone until after the fact for that exact reason. i didnt want anyone waiting or making me feel like it was taking longer than it should. I didnt want or need that anxiety. Really it should be what is best for you for your situation. If they dont like it, say you didnt have time, forgot your phone.. whatever. make it be what makes you the most comfortable. Luckily for me it happened early in the morning but even if it hadnt noone was getting a phone call until after. Its easy enough to say that you were focusing on having your child and not making a phone call.

hmarsano · January 2010

I called everyone as I was heading to the hospital. I had quite the audience! But, that was the way I always wanted it, with my closest family members by my side for the labor. It was just DH and I for the delivery, and we took a few minutes to ourselves after he was born before we called the family back in. They weren't intrusive or anything, it was just like a family get together once I got the epi. We just sat around and talked and waited for the show to begin!

A S-ski · January 2010

We called after he was born. It was awesome. I highly recommend it.

sbryant021408 · January 2010

DH posted on FB that my water broke. LUCKILY, no one lives near us that would have come.

jhelly77 · January 2010

We didn't call until 5 minutes before I was going to start pushing. Luckily I only pushed for 5 minutes so nobody was there until DS was born. It was perfect. And it was kind of fun that DH and I had this big "secret" all day, nobody knew where we were.

rinny627 · January 2010

The hospital usually has a limit to the amount of people allowed in the delivery room with you. I picked my mom and DH. You can pick whomever you want. Just DH if you want. Just let them know they won't be in there with you and then find out from them if they want a call when you're in labor, or after?

jday1229 · January 2010

We told everyone beforehand that we only wanted DH and my mom there for labor. My best friend did stop by briefly but didn't wait around, she just wanted to check and give DH a break.

I know a lot of women say they don't want their mom there and at first I only allowed my mom for her own benefit (I knew she would respect my wishes and be as nonintrusive as I asked her to be) but since I had a lot go wrong during labor and ended up with an unexpected CS and DS was taken directly to the NICU she was a great source of comfort for my DH and myself. Even after his birth she was able to be there for me so that DH could stay with DS.

aniceucchik · January 2010

thank goodness that our families were 5 hours away, b/c i dont think I could have handled them being there with us. DH called my mom after we finally got admitted, but thankfully she made it there right after the birth. She was pissed that we didnt call sooner, but i really dont care. She is VERY intrusive. She actually flipped out pretty bad that she didnt get to be there for the actual birth, but she would have just runied it for us anyways.

suprchicy · January 2010

We called after we went to the hospital but long before DD was born, but I made sure I was adamantly clear that nobody was welcome in the room. Use the nurses too, they will play the bad guy and keep people out. DH was also good afterwards when I was in the hospital (c-section), the ILs kept barging in and FIL tried to walk right in as I was getting checked. Also don't feel back about kicking people out. If they get upset, so be it, but it is totally up to you if you change your mind and want people out of your room. They'll get over it once the baby comes. Birthing is not a spectator sport.

Laurie12820 · January 2010

My water broke at 11pm, my Mom was working the next day, so we just sent my parents and brother a text message and called then when DD was born. My ILs were out of state, so we didn't clue them in until DD was here. There is no real waiting room at our hospital besides the big forum near the main entrance.

AfterAll · January 2010

I was induced so the whole family knew when I was going in obviously. I was texting and talking to them on the computer, as was DH to keep them updated as the day stretched on so they didn't get worried. I went in at 11pm on Monday and had him at 7:15 on Tuesday evening.

We made our wishes clear ahead of time... that since induction could be such a long process we didn't want anyone else there with us, but we would keep them updated. As luck would have it, I didn't give birth until after visiting hours were over anyway... DH's parents still wanted to try to come but I told them I was an exhausted mess and would prefer if they just came the next morning and they, along with my family were fine with that. It was nice because we had some time to get adjusted and just be a family of 3 before everyone else came in.

GeneGoddess · January 2010

We called when we got to the hospital (water broke, had to be induced). But that was because my parents were driving and live almost 2000 miles away.

Soap1 · January 2010

I told DH not to call anyone to come up to the hospital. I didn't want anyone hovering, I didn't want to see anyone during labor, and I didn't want to feel pressured to let people back to see the baby before I was ready.

DH called his family anyway, they hovered, they wandered into the room during labor, and they threw a fit when I wouldn't let anyone back in the room WHILE I WAS STILL GETTING STITCHED UP.

Ugh. It's my WORST memory from labor. It ruined the whole day. What I remember when I think about the first hour of DS's life is that my MIL and SIL were throwing a fit about being allowed to come back into the delivery room.

Decide what you want, and make SURE that DH knows. Do not let anyone pressure you to do something different. Seriously. Learn from my bad experience!

alita1 · January 2010

my mother's feelings were hurt but she got over it. my MIL made a stink but she is crazy. she wouldve made the whole experience a circus. i chose to not have anyone there because i wanted it to be special for DH, myself, and our LO... and i wanted the chance to get to absorb it all without any distractions........ AND i didnt know what to expect... turns out, after 13 hours of labor i needed a csection. i don't see the point in having anyone except DH see all that mess... plus. i needed time to 'recover' after the surgery. it's your body. your experience, you decide.. they'll learn to get over it............. but they may also say some nasty things about you.... i know my MIL did........... i heard my DHs grandmother say 'thanks for sharing him' and i knew where that stemmed from... if i could go back i'd do it the same way.

Daisy525 · January 2010

We called as soon as contractions started. My mom was in the room with me and all of my family was waiting in the waiting room. Also, DH's family lives in Mississippi so we had to give them as much notice as possible since they are 8 hours away. I'm glad I called my mom b/c I was in labor at home for over 12hrs before we headed to the hospital(the contractions weren't really bad until later in the day) so she stayed with me and I sent DH to work. I was very clear about who could be in the room while pushing and I told my DH and mom so they kept everyone out at that time. You can also tell your nurses who you want or do not want in there and they will keep them out.

I must add that my MIL and DH's aunt came in while pushing and I gave DH and the nurse a I'm going to kill you and them look so the nurse told them they needed to leave. I have no idea why they decided to pop in.

JenShea · January 2010

all of our family is out of state. I had planned on calling when I went into labor but everything happened so fast that I just called my mom and dad about 20 minutes after he was born. they called everyone for us until we had time later to talk to everyone.

MrsACo · January 2010

We called on the way to the hospital because it was unexpected..I was 3 weeks early. I called to tell my family when I moved over to L and D. I had my family in and out during labor and it really helped me. We told everyone straight-away that for delivery it would just be dh and I. it was a great comfort to have my family around me!

shortyran · January 2010

I went into labor almost a month early so I was pretty nervous! I ended up calling my mom and my sister and they came pretty soon after I called. They were at the hospital by 7am and I didn't deliver until almost 4pm. I wish I had told them to wait because I really could have used some sleep while my epidural was working- I hadn't slept the night before and knew that I wouldn't get a full night's sleep for a long time! It was nice having them there but when they're walking in and out of the room while you're trying to relax and your whole family is chatting, asking how you are,etc...it just sort of made it more stressful!

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · January 2010

MIL was told we were going into the hospital right at 3am, because we live in the same house.

We called my parents once I was admitted into the hospital at around 4am.

Everyone arrived at the hospital by about 5-6am

But, at our hospital, no one but coaches are allowed in the labor room, so I saw my dad & sister for a couple of minutes while I was still down in the ER triage, but then only DH and my mom were allowed to see me from thereafter. Everyone waited in the waiting room all day, though. I wasn't going to tell them they had to wait at home, they were too excited (first grandbaby), and I could understand their being upset if I'd waited until after he'd been born to call them.

Plus, we ended up with somewhat of an emergency situation so it was awesome support for DH and my mom to be able to go down to the waiting room to tell them what was going on in person and get hugs. Especially for my mom since I had an emergency c-section and she was left in the labor room in shock, so she was able to go down and lean on them.

NewMrs07 · January 2010

If you don't want them in there during the rough part of labor, then don't call them until it's over. The last thing you need when you're having contractions is people watching you the whole time. I only wanted DH and then my mom was there for the birth. The mom part wasn't planned but it was actually OK to have here there when I had to push 1.5 hrs. At that point I didn't care who saw what!

MrsWanee · January 2010

my DH texted everyone when we left for the hospital, then once i was about to push, he texted them again to know to leave to come. then once he was born, he called them.

beckytr · January 2010

i was in labor for 30 hrs but only at the hospital for 7. i called my parents when i got admitted but they knew i didn't want them in there when i was pushing - and they live 4 hrs away. so by the time they got there i was fully dilated and waiting to start pushing so they just came in to say hi, which i wanted. then DH told them when DS was born but that the nurses said i should bf him immediately so they went and got breakfast and came back.

do whatever you are comfortable with and what will make u happy. in labor i was def. not in any mood to put on appearances or be nice. dh's whole family drove me nuts in the hospital and right when we came home. in hindsight i should have put major limits on their visits, but i felt like i couldn't b/c i wanted my family there. but i was the one healing physically, hormones totally out of wack, trying to learn to bf so i should have done whatever would make me feel better. next time i won't worry about hurting anyone's feelings!!!

brainwashxx · January 2010

Well my mother had to drive me to the hospital when I was in labor. And they said they wanted to watch me for 2 hours to make sure I was in real labor. Well after being there for 10 minutes they decided I was in real labor because my contractions were a minute apart, etc. So we called everyone and people arrived maybe an hour or so before I had her. My labor was SUPER fast because I did the early phase at home (FOR 2 DAYS!)

ruthie oct3 · January 2010

We called in-laws just before we were leaving the house. Water broke at 2:15AM and we left the house around 33:30-4:00. I wanted to shower and make sure I didn't forget anything. I wasn't having any contractions yet - back labor started on the way there.

We told ILs not to leave right away - to sleep and leave in the AM. They wanted to come out (3 hours away) since it's their first. We also needed them to feed the dog and let her out.

We called my parents around 6:00 or so to tell them I was admitted and everything. They originally were not supposed to come out til the next day (almost 2 hours away) but since I went in labor so early they thought they would come int he afternoon. They stayed at our house with ILs til dinner and then went near the hospital to eat.

We called to keep them posted but there wasn't much progress for a while and then they finally go the call that we were finally ready to move in the delivery room. They were out in the waiting room/hallway outside the area waiting. They came in for a few minutes - no one asked me if I wanted visitors and the Dr JUSt finished examining me - so that would have been embaressing.

DS wasn't born til 9:49PM and my parents and ILs were able to come in and see him about an hour later. We would have waited til we went to Mothering Unit but there was a delay and we were in the delivery room til after midnight waiting to be moved.?

DanielsWife · January 2010

Our original plan was to only call the parents when we got to the hospital and tell them to not come until DH called them again - which would have been after I gave birth.

However, I was induced for pre-e. So, my parents came up to visit me 2x while I was in labor (I was admitted at 11:30pm that Tuesday night and didn't give birth until 3:13am that Thursday morning via c-section). I never made it to the roughest part - transition - b/c I stalled out at 5 cm. I didn't have any visitors until around 7 am when I was moved to an L&D room (they were packed that week) - Mom came to see me. The ILs didn't come to see me and DD until the next evening (even though they came to see DH after my surgery, grrrr, but that's another story).

Point of the story? Make plans but expect the unexpected. If you go into labor spontaneously, you can probably keep your plans. If you are induced, your family will probably come see you anyhow.

May.4.2007 · January 2010

A S-ski:
We called after he was born. It was awesome. I highly recommend it.

this exactly. very awesome.

ETA: I also had an unexpected c-section after 2.5 hrs of pushing, then LO wasn't breathing and had a stroke at birth and was rushed to the NICU. I was relieved to just have me and DH there for all of that. A couple hours later I called my mom and MIL to say he was born but not stable so they could start the drive in (ILs are 6 hrs away).

DH and I really needed that time alone together to process what was happening to our son and talk to all the NICU doctors about what was happening with him.

I'd do the same next time, except I'll have a scheduled c-section...still, no one allowed at the hospital til we call after.

Remme80 · January 2010

We waited until about an hour after I had DD to call people. My MIL is very over bearing and intrusive and would call everyday to see if I was in labor, and wanted to be there the whole time. I can't stand her when I'm not in labor, so I definatley did not want her there when I was. I'm not that close with my parents, so they came over the day after DD was born.

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