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3rd Trimester
MIL Vent!
So a little background info - my IL's conned my DH 5 yrs ago into lending them $10K to help save their failing business. Mind you - we don't have $10K just lying around. My DH borrowed it off credit cards without telling me, under the agreement that his parents would actually pay him back. They didn't, and the stress nearly caused us to get a divorce.
They have never paid us back a dime, and apparently we are expected to just forget about it. With that said, my MIL calls me today to tell me that she isn't trying to be ugly, but that she doesn't really care for Target and that even though I registered there I know how she likes brand names so she's just getting stuff from Dillards and places like that.
FIRST OF ALL - WOMAN, I wasn't aware that Dillards sold anything a baby needs other than clothing, NONE of which is on my registry, because not everyone has the same taste in clothing, and I prefer to buy his clothes myself. SECOND OF ALL, If you are so EFFING high & mighty and too good for Target - how's about paying back some or all of that 10K you stole from your son!
I could go on with THIRD OF ALL, etc. but I think that's enough for now to make me breathe a little better.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL Vent!
EXACTLY!
I wouldn't call it divorcing over money. He LIED to you! And thats a pretty big lie! Regardless, Im sorry you are in this situation. Whatever, if your MIL gets you something from Dillard's, just return it and get something you like.
WOW. I don't know how you and your DH managed to get through that one. If DH ever did that to me it would be the end. I love him but I would never be able to trust him again.
I also wouldn't be able to have any communication with my ILs without constantly mentioning the money they owe.
My ILs are horrible with money. DH and I have come to an agreement that we will NEVER give them money no matter what. They do not know how to use it.
You are a better person than I am. I have a problem with not being able to keep my mouth shut, and I probably would have responded with pay our effing money back then. Also, if my DH lied to me and gave them money - there would be no discussion about whether or not they pay us back. They pay us back or they are cut out of our lives. If he would refuse, he's got to go.
Ugh- can you at least ask her to include gift receipts since there is no way to predict how big the baby is going to be when born and you don't want to be stuck w/ clothes that aren't the right size season?
All my MIL buys my DD is clothes and rarely gives gift slips and I have a bag of clothes we got for Christmas that she will probably never wear and I can't return/exchange.
Heck yeah! Definitely!
This!
out of curiosity, how much conversation have you had around ILs paying you back? Could you somehow politely (or not) pose the question/suggest to them to put that cash towards the debt than clothes that baby is going to grow out of in a few months time? Sounds like they don't live a very realistic lifestyle - out of their means.
My ILs weren't so smart with their cash either, and when FIL was diagnosed with severe early onset alzheimer's, they had to use up their savings to pay for putting him in a complex care home (they live in Australia and had to pay for 5 years up front at the home). He's recenlty passed away, and MIL is always offering to send us cash, which frustrates the hell out of me and hubby. He works SO hard to make sure we are going to be ok, and so he can make sure his mum is going to be taken care of too if ever in a pickle.
money issues suck a**.
Thanks for all of your input! Wow I really got a rise out of many of you - good! Made my blood boil too so it feels a little more justified now!
Concerning the DH - trust me I can understand where all of you are coming from. That time was the lowest point in both of our lives. I actually did file for divorce, and put the house for sale. It took a VERY LONG SLOW PAINFUL time, but ultimately I did gain trust back for him and he knows he could NEVER do anything even remotely close to something like that again without me following through next time. I'm not saying it would work that way for everyone, but he made a mistake - a HUGE mistake, and realizes now that it was alot in part to not turning to me, his wife, his partner, for advice and support. Fast forward 5 years later (we just celebrated 13 years together this month), and our marriage is better now than it has ever been! He has a true appreciation for me sticking it out to work through it with him. Not that I don't wish we never went through it in the first place, but I must say I do think the experience brought us closer together than we could've ever been without going through it in the first place. Matter of fact - I'm on this message board now, because things are so good in our relationship that we agreed, despite already having a 12 year old, to have another baby! So... to each their own, but that is my story and I wouldn't go back and change any decision I made.
As for the IL's, I constantly decide to take the higher road or else it would cause me a lot of frustration and get me no where. My DH and I have a cordial on the surface relationship with them because my DS has such a great relationship with my FIL. Despite our grudges, we will not take that relationship away from him. Later in life he will know what happened and alot of how we are with the IL's will probably make a whole lot more sense. We are never going to get the actual cash back, so we simply choose to learn from that lesson and keep them at arms length. Of course, every now and then I must vent - like I did on here!!!! LOL Thanks for listening!