Success after M/C?

Michicuse · January 2010

Hello there. I'm more of a lurker and have a quick question. I'm 11 weeks 1 day pregnant with my first baby. We had a m/c this past summer at about 6 weeks. Is anyone having a hard time enjoying and relaxing during this pregnancy because of a previous m/c. I feel like I'm on alert everytime I go to the bathroom and my DH and I are having a hard time letting ourselves be excited. We are just still so nervous. I'm hoping this changes when we hit the 2nd trimester. Anyway, just thought I'd check in and ask. Thanks!

eml569 · January 2010

I had a m/c in May 2008 at 8 1/2 weeks. We got pregnant in July with our son, and I had a very strange calm during that pregnancy. Yes, I always checked after I wiped and would freak out if something didn't feel right, but I'd learned that no matter what you do you can't change the outcome.

This time I'm quite a bit more uppity. I know it all goes back to my first pregnancy being "unplanned" (we were on a break month) and this one being unexpected. It's just all in the associations I guess.

I just have to keep reminding myself that whatever is going to happen will happen, and to love my baby today. It's a lot better once you get out of the 1st tri - but if you've had good appts so far, I would just try to brush the fear off as much as possible and enjoy yourself!

jrhell · January 2010

I understand how you feel. We had a m/c last January @ 13 wks and I've been a nervous wreck this entire pregnancy. I've been having horrible nightmares every night. (that I have another m/c or deliver a stillborn, etc.) I keep hoping that once I get through the first tri, I'll relax. I have been able to enjoy the pregnancy but I'm terrified as well. I know it's completely out of my control, but that's hard for me...since I'm a control-freak. Smile

I hope you find the peace that you're looking for soon. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

LCB34 · January 2010

:::raises hand:::

I had a miscarriage after my first IVF. That was hard enough.

Then, I got pregnant with triplets with my second IVF (current pregnancy). I found out on Monday that we lost two of the babies (at almost 9 weeks after seeing their heartbeats 3 times). I am having a very hard time having faith that this pregnancy will remain viable as 66% of the babies I was originally carrying are now gone.

I would voice your concerns to you OB - hopefully they will be a bit more attentive and bring you in for appointments more frequently to calm your nerves.

My doctor (a high risk specialist) is seeing me every week until I am out of first tri just for peace of mind.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this but and hoping/ praying everything goes well with this pregnancy for you!

aldyn · January 2010

I was exactly like this during my pregnancy with DD. I had a m/c before that and it was like I went through it all over again when I got pregnant again because it robbed me from enjoying DD's pregnancy. What worked for me was constantly reminding myself to just take it one day at a time. Be happy for everyday that you're pregnant. I didn't read ahead in the baby books, I didn't skip ahead and lurk on other trimester boards, I really lived in the moment and appreciated each day that I was still pregnant.

The worrying didn't really stop for me after the first tri, but I did probably get better at putting it in perspective. Each trimester brings new risks and new worries (at least for me!).

Good luck and congratulations - you've already made it a lot further than last time, so that's great and something you should be really, really happy about.

cbockover1 · January 2010

I also had a M/C last summer and am trying to not freak out this time. I had one at 12 weeks last time so I am just trying to get to 4 months before I can breathe a little easier. For us, I think its been nice being a christian since I believe God has a plan for our little pumpkin. But yes, I definitely am checking every 2 seconds to make sure nothing is going wrong, But in a way if it is going to happen, its going to happen and unfortunetely there is not much we can do but to be positive and get through this rough patch.

historychick79 · January 2010

The worrying is perfectly normal. DH and I have had two m/c in the past 2 yrs, and we are so hoping this is our sticky baby. I keep the fear in check by doing what I can to keep this pregnancy healthy and speaking with my OB, who is very understanding and willing to let us come in for a heart rate check any time. See what your dr may be willing to do to put your mind at ease. Also, there is a 'pregnant after loss' board here that is really supportive, and lets you see how many success stories there are. Good luck!

Michicuse · January 2010

Thanks everyone. This helps me feel not so alone. All of my appointments have been great (heart as of Tuesday is beating away) and I've had some pretty bad m/s which I'm thankful for...which I know is weird. I'm thinking of all of you as well!!

AbJams · January 2010

I had a m/c in March at 13 weeks 3 days. With this pregnancy, especially the first 15 or so weeks, I went back and forth between complete Zenlike calm... and total meltdown freaking out. I know this mantra might not work for everyone, but honestly, what I told myself was that I survived the first time, and if it happens again, I will survive again. I got my bfp the day after my first EDD, and heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time at 13 weeks 3 days. I firmly believe that God does what He does for a reason, and I have to have faith in Him and His plan for me.

MarknCalsMommy · January 2010

We just had a MC in December. I was only 4.5 weeks, and it happened very quickly. Barelyl 4 weeks later, I had another BFP. We're excited, and things are going much better, but I can't help but think "what if?" I have an appointment in 3 weeks when I should be able to hear the heartbeat on doppler, and then I will probably be able to relax a little more. It doesn't help that I keep hearing about people having missed MC. I don't think they're the norm, but I've heard of a lot of them lately.

McJen715 · January 2010

We are cautious this time about getting excited. I think it helps that I had spotting the entire time with my first m/c (a few weeks worth of spotting). Since I have no spotting now I keep telling myself that it's all good and I'm taking it one day at a time.

Ash_Bear · January 2010

I also had an early miscarriage in july 2007 at 4 weeks. we have been trying ever since to have our first baby and finally i am 7w 1d and i am terrified. i am trying to not get excited just incase it happens again. i have nightmares that i have miscarried again and the dr.s telling me that it happens and something was wrong but it is a scary thing to wake up to that when it seems so real its happening all over again. every time i pee i check for blood. i had an ulta sound at 6w 6d and the heart was beating so i am just praying for the best out come amd continue trying to be healthy and take care of my self and baby.

MamaNikita · January 2010

i had one this past summer, and my previous due date is actually today:( but luckily my doctor has been very helpful and attentive and saw me just a few days after i got my BFP and put me on progesterone right away. not that that isn't a huge pain in the butt, but i at least feel like i'm doing something a little proactive. my first time around i went in for my first ultrasound at 9 weeks and the baby had stopped growing at 6. this time around i actually saw a heartbeat at 6 and i go in tomorrow for an 8 week one. i'm just trying to take every little milestone for what it is - like seeing the heartbeat this time was something i didn't get last time, and i think if i see a heartbeat tomorrow, then i'm already past the last time. you won't stop worrying, but i just keep telling myself to try to relax, because once the baby comes, and it will, you won't get to relax for the next 20 years or so! best of luck to you!

lmbarrera · January 2010

I M/C last February when I was about 10 weeks along. I'm only 6 now, but am surprisingly very confident so far! I think because I've been feeling more symptoms than the last time... that has to be good right? lol

SavannahSweetie · January 2010

I had a M/C in Aug ('09). We went in for our first appt, u/s and it was twins, but no heartbeat for either.

I just got a BFP today! So, I only have about 8 hours of experience, but I am ecstatic. My husband and I both have been talking and trying not to get too excited yet... but on the other hand, I think I need to enjoy it.

rcbuko · January 2010

Totally normal feelings. I had two losses before I got pregnant with my daughter. I was unable to enjoy my pregnancy for a long time and was only able to begin to bond with it after I found out the sex. I was worried all the way up to the end that something would go wrong.

I experienced one more loss after I had my daughter and before I got pregnant this time. This time, I am a bit more optimistic and happy though probably not as much as I would have been had I never had a loss. I still worry but really try to focus on all that is going right with the pregnancy.

themusiclady · January 2010

Definitely normal feelings. We miscarried last August... And right now I am about 2 weeks shy of where I was when we miscarried... If I can get through the next 2 or 3 weeks, I think I'll feel better, but as of right now, it is really scary to think that anything could happen.

I actually started spotting a few days ago. (That's how our miscarriage started) so I've been extra cautious. But I know that what ever happens, happens, and there is nothing I can do about it. Until then, I am trying to stay calm and collected.

Hope you can get to a point where you can feel calm and collected.

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