I'm a jerk- we found out the sexes of the trips

Puppins · January 2010

So we found out the sexes of the triplets- and I cried... out of sadness, not of happiness. I feel like a jerk and a bad mom. My husband laughed at me, then kinda got mad at me for being sad about it. Even the dr looked at me weird.

I know I should be happy that we are blessed to be pregnant at all, since we tried so hard to get pregnant. And I will be happy if they are all healthy, and thats really my main concern but because it was so hard to get pregnant and this pregnancy has been really horrible so far I don't want to try again for more kids.

Sorry I just had to vent and see if I am the world's worst mom, or if anyone experienced this...

pea-kay · January 2010

Why are you sad? Because they're not the sexes you wanted, or because you didn't want to find out?

I_am_DCA · January 2010

For anyone that does ultrasounds for a living....it's actually way more common than you think. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it myself. Don't feel bad at all! It's a big deal and understandable to be disappointed or shocked or whatever the emotion is.

Puppins · January 2010

I was hoping it was a mix of kids- instead its all one sex... of the sex I was least hoping for....

healthynut · January 2010

I was fine b/c I was having one of each, but I knew I was having a boy early on and was scared that the other twin would also be a boy. I might have cried if it was. I know other moms who cried at the u/s b/c they were uphappy, so you are definitely not alone. Also, I work in a hospital and the u/s tech here told me she sees it all the time at her job at the o.b. office.

Pipigirl · January 2010

Don't feel bad. My husband and I both really wanted boys. It took a few days to get over the initial disappointment. I am not a pink person at all!! But once you start to plan, and the due date gets closer, it will be more exciting. We just had the shower and even the pink clothes are growing on me! I'm now looking forward to having two little adorable girls! I promise your disappointment will fade and things will look up. And in the mean time, know you aren't alone.

stillhoping · January 2010

I know of many triplet moms that were told one thing at 16 weeks and something complete different at 20

kimarino13 · January 2010

Before going through infertility and multiple losses, I really, really, really wanted a girl. But then once I got pregnant, I really didn't care. I just wanted a healthy baby.

My husband always wanted a boy, and he's getting two girls. I know he was disappointed at first (though he would never admit it) but after a few weeks, he got super excited about having daughters. I am sure you will come around.

ougrad1 · January 2010

Puppins:
I was hoping it was a mix of kids- instead its all one sex... of the sex I was least hoping for....

I always wanted all boys and I was a little sad when I found out Emerson was a girl but, now I wouldn't mind another girl. If it's three my H may hang himself though! : ) I'm kidding.

Give yourself some time.....

I want to know if it's boys or girls!!! You're killing me now!

lgurian · January 2010

you are not alone. my friend had two boys and really wanted a girl, when she found out she was having another boy she cried. i think it is more common then you think. you will love them no matter what parts they come out with though!

MNheidi · January 2010

Your head tells you that healthy babies is all you should wish for but you can't help what your heart wants. I'll admit I was a bit disappointed when we found out it was 2 boys and not one of each but after a week or so, I got really used to the idea and now, couldn't imagine anything else. Don't be so hard on yourself.

SLM05 · January 2010

Don't be so hard on yourself. I really wanted a mix with out triplets and we got all boys and to tell you the truth while i really wanted at atleast one boy i was sad and disaapopinted to not have a girl. I think that it is natural. Let me share this with you. My aunt had a son and then had ttc and got pregnant 8 years later and was upset it was another boy. She really wanted a girl. They did not have any more children and after he was worn and even now she says she is sooo happy for two boys. She said she likes it better.

LaurenVal · January 2010

WHAT ARE YOU HAVEING????

LaurenVal · January 2010

I mean having.. sorry! Alos if anyone is a bad mother- its me! When i found out i was having twins, I cried for 2 months and was actually very pissed!! Now Im 32 weeks and couldnt be happier

Puppins · January 2010

Hah- can't post in case there are any lurkers on here that know me. We arent telling anyone the sex for now. Is there PM on the bump- I will tell in a PM since I dont know you- haha

RoseWhite · January 2010

Don't feel bad!!!!! I think this is very common and it does not make you a bad mom, nor is this an indication of how much you'll love your babies!.

It wasn't a secret I really wanted a girl...so I was disappointed when I found out it was two boys. I got used to the idea pretty quickly and now I can't imagine having anything BUT two boys!!!!

So no matter what you think now, it will all change once they're here..I promise!

macchiatto · January 2010

MNheidi:
Your head tells you that healthy babies is all you should wish for but you can't help what your heart wants. I'll admit I was a bit disappointed when we found out it was 2 boys and not one of each but after a week or so, I got really used to the idea and now, couldn't imagine anything else. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Ditto this exactly!

For both DH and I, our first choice was one of each, second choice was two girls, and last choice was two boys. So yeah, we were both a little disappointed when we found out we were having two boys. But like Heidi said, once we got used to the idea it was OK, and after meeting them we fell in love with them. Now I actually like having boys!

macchiatto · January 2010

Puppins:
Hah- can't post in case there are any lurkers on here that know me. We arent telling anyone the sex for now. Is there PM on the bump- I will tell in a PM since I dont know you- haha

Ooh I wanna know, too! Click on the "Contact" thing at the bottom of my post and you can PM me.

nygrl79 · January 2010

You are not alone. I cried when I found out that I was having two boys because I was hoping for at least one girl and I knew that I wasn't going to have any more children. My mom scolded me for it, and I thought I was terrible because I wasn't just satisfied with healthy babies. But I got over it (it took a little bit of time) and every day I think of reasons why it is better for me and my family to have two little boys i(nstead of two girls or a b/g) and how wonderful it will be. You will get there too, but what you are experiencing is completely normal! Besides, better to be sad now than on the day the babies are born!

ougrad1 · January 2010

I want to know to! PM me as well. I hate surprises of any kind! lol-

angelnscrubs7 · January 2010

Don't feel bad..I did the same thing....I knew this was going to be my last pregnancy, and I wanted at least 1 more girl out of the two....well, that didn't happen. My DD was with us for the U/S to find out the sexes, and I think she cried more than I did because she wanted a little sister (she was 13 @ the time). Once I told her that she'd never have to share her room, and that she'd always be the only granddaughter (@ least on my side of the family), she was ok with it. It took me a little while longer...I didn't know what in the world I was going to do with boys!!! I was into ruffles, frilly things, playing with Barbies and doll houses...not cars, dirt, bugs, and legos....

But the first time I really felt them move, and not just a flutter, was the moment I realized God was blessing us with 2 amazing little boys, and as I look back now, there's nothing more I could ever want.... that and the fact that I know they'll always be mommy's little boys!!!!

Nikki1007 · January 2010

Don't be hard on yourself. Its common. I really wanted at least one girl and we were told at out NT scan that one was definitely a boy but they were not sure on the other but it was probably a girl. Next u/s the tech said it was 2 boys and I was almost in tears. Then she changed her mind and said wait it may be a girl. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. Turns out she is all girl, she just had swollen labia early on. But I felt like an ass almost crying at 2 boys after all we went through.

lindsaydtobeb · January 2010

Don't feel bad! You will come around and be a wonderful mom no matter what! And I bet a year from now, you won't be able to imagine things having been any different.

I plan on finding out the genders only because if it's the opposite of what I'm hoping for then I need to be prepared and have the rest of my pregnancy to plan and get excited. I hate even admitting this, but I'm only human. And I might cry at my u/s too.

britbswoo · January 2010

Belle4KP:
I know of many triplet moms that were told one thing at 16 weeks and something complete different at 20

This exactly especially if it's girls we were told 3 boys and a girl around 16 weeks and we're having 4 boys.

Even if they do end up being the same you're not a jerk. I know for us this is it, no more babies from us so at first thought boy/girl combo sound ideal, and I'm sure alot of HOM parents feel this way at first. So I can see where news otherwise would be hard at first. My nurse was apoligizing and I really wasn't upset at all, so I think they see that more often then not.

You'll start to feel better once you start thinking them as your boys/girls, and that is a great feeling!

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