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Postpartum Depression
roxyttandme
member
Is your depression a roller coaster at times?
roxyttandme
member
I know everyone has good days and bad days.... but, it seems like my emotions are just all over the place. I know hormones have something to do w/ it... but, this is lame.
One week I am a disaster. The smallest of triggers break me in half and I am a walking zombie... My DH thinks I I am a slobering mess and need to see a shrink and get on meds. He asks me things like: "Are we going to live in misery forever?" or "Are you going to cry forever?"
Other weeks, I feel strong and capable. I feel like a normal person- not a mother with no baby. I am able to consentrate on my work, the house work gets done, I feel accomplished and strong. ... and then, I break!...
I am not bi-polar, and I am not manic... I am just having a tough time dealing with our loss.
I feel like after a women delievers her baby- she is supposed to be able to take that baby home... not leave empty handed, empty nursery, empty ute, empty heart....
Thanks for letting me vent, ladies. This is one of the few venues I have to share my true feelings.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is your depression a roller coaster at times?
Yes. And I can speak to the experience of depression after a loss, or sadly losses in my case, there were days when if I couldn't be focusing on ttc, I was just a mess. DH really did not understand. He mourned the losses for a week or two and moved on. I, on the other hand, still break down when someone I know suffers a loss. I lost it at the doctor's office the other day when I had to write down the number of losses I suffered. It's never really gotten easier for me. Sometimes it would seem to get better and then I felt like I got sucked back down.
One thing I did while we were still TTC was I joined an IRL support group. It was really helpful. I found it through my local hospital. I know that I owe a lot to these boards but I found that having people to talk to and hug and meet just really helped.
Big hugs
My life is very much like a roller coaster with PPD. Days at a time go by when I feel happy and capable of handling my life. And then a day will come that knocks me down with pain and sadness. I always feel blind-sided by it...and so does DH. When one of these bad days comes, I worry that he will judge me for it...say something like "how could you regress so badly?" He doesn't, though. I think it is actually me that wonders where the sudden low point comes from.
Everyone grives differently. It sounds like your DH may not really understand how it is that you go through the mourning process. I think couple's counseling could help you and your husband understand each other's feelings better, and help you learn to support the other's way of grieving your loss. My DH and I have talked about getting counseling together to help us understand each other, and how the PPD affects our family, better. Also, please consider seeing a doctor for yourself. Getting on medication is making things much better for me, so that I see more good days than bad. I cannot imagine the pain that you feel, but I want you to know that I am deeply sorry for your loss, and will always offer all the support I can to you through The Bump!
((Hugs))
My DH thinks I am a slobering mess and need to see a shrink and get on meds. He asks me things like: "Are we going to live in misery forever?" or "Are you going to cry forever?"
he sounds like he's trying to help but his delivery could be improved just a wee bit. i think he's hurting and he's not sure what to do to help you, though i know comments like that can be hurtful. are you opposed to talking to somebody about your experience and loss, maybe even as a couple? Therapy is a nice middle ground, there's less wait to get in and no medication, if you don't want to do that.