Always Hug Your Loved Ones.

dreamincitrus · January 2010

I usually don't post on the Austin Babies board, but seeing some of the threads today really made me realize how much these Austin Nest boards rock. Even though I've moved, I've gotten to know some of the Nesties and have experienced their kindness. I don't really know what I wanted to say with this post other than to cope, and I may DD it later.

Today is January 29th. Two years ago, my then boyfriend, who is now my fiance, and I lost our son at the age of 2 months. I remember that day vividly still, how both of us completely lost it, how devestating it was, and how we didn't want to believe what was happening. Our little Phil was gone, and we went through a LOT of grieving. First, it was asking why we deserved this; then, it was blaming ourselves for what happened. Today, it is still something we don't mention a lot around family or friends. It has caused us to cut friends out of our life after they judged us for what happened, but it has also brought us closer to others who supported us through our difficult time.

I got a tattoo last year to honor Phil, and when people ask me what it is for, I am not afraid to tell them why. They give me this look, they tell me how sorry they are. But I am not sorry. Because he was here, he made our lives better and brought us closer, and I can't ask for more than that.

For all of the ladies on here who have dealt with loss, grief, or anything other than what should've been for you and your loved ones, please believe me when I say it will get better. It will get easier. It will never go away, but the way you express what happened will change, and in a way that would make your LO proud.

Always hug your loved ones. You never know how long they'll bless you with their presence.

mlf625 · January 2010

Thank you for sharing the story of your son, Phil, and for the reminder to cherish each day. Take care.

Deltadee · January 2010

Thank you for posting this. I recently have gained a much greater realization of how special each moment is with loved ones and not to take one moment for granted. It's always nice to have reminders like your story! I hope it continues to get easier.