Your input, mother says this "doesn't look right"

MoFree · January 2010

DH's closest friend wants to take me out to dinner on Saturday evening when I'm visiting Chicago. He is currently unattached, if that is at all relevant. DH has no issues with this, even indicated that he is happy that I'll be spending time with a friend and able to catch up with someone very important to both of us.

When I mentioned this to my mother she told me in her sternest voice that "It just doesn't look right" and "What will people think." I told her that we were having dinner and not sleeping together, but she was insistent that it's just improper.

Your thoughts, please.

kimarino13 · January 2010

I think it's a nice gesture on his part and I see nothing wrong with it at all. Have fun.

Kiki11 · January 2010

Ummm... I think it would be weird if you were in town and didn't have dinner with a close friend! I think your mom is being a little old fashioned.

QuiltingBee · January 2010

I think it's not a problem. If you were interested in him, or your DH was uncomfortable with it, or the friend seemed to have other ideas, then I would back away. But who cares what anyone else thinks?

momagain2009 · January 2010

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, especially if your DH is fine with it.

thebeadinglady · January 2010

I see nothing wrong with it. But then again most of my friends are men and my DH's best man was a woman. I think it would be perfectly fine, and besides what are the odds of running into anyone you know while at dinner?

baloneydisc · January 2010

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Like you said, it's just dinner & he's a friend. I think it's nice he'd invite you.

veronicacorningstone · January 2010

I don't see anything wrong with it at all. Go and have fun! It's not like your DH was a little hesitant about it, because that would be a different story.

roselln2 · January 2010

My dad always gets funny if I mention that I went out for dinner with a guy friend. It's really between you and your DH. If you are both comfortable, don't worry about what your mom says.

njdcgirl · January 2010

Kiki11:
Ummm... I think it would be weird if you were in town and didn't have dinner with a close friend! I think your mom is being a little old fashioned.

This! Have a good time.

renafaith · January 2010

Oh yay, our moms are related! If your DH is ok with it, I say go for it. Tell your mom what she told you when you were little "my house, my rules"

Ginger71 · January 2010

She's just a different generation. They think differently.....They don't get that men and women can be friends.

yodasmistress · January 2010

Kiki11:
I think your mom is being a little old fashioned.

gymnst1013 · January 2010

Totally OK, especially since YH is fine with it.

MoFree · January 2010

Thanks, ladies. That was the affirmation I needed that there's nothing at all inappropriate with having dinner with a friend. This man stayed with me the night of the accident while I was waiting to hear about the surgery and has shown his continued concern for DH's condition.

You're right, my mother is from a different generation and practically asks for my father's permission to do any activity that does not involve him.

kthappy76 · January 2010

Your mother is just being old fashioned, thank goodness we've moved past a time when it was scandalous to be seen in public with a man that was not your husband. If you had previously had a relationship with said friend and DH was not keen on you seeing him, then that would be another (and more juicy) story... Hope you are going somewhere fun!

jennim1984 · January 2010

I think it's just fine! I'm good friends with all my husbands friends! Have fun!

ChiTown Bridget · January 2010

momagain2009:
There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, especially if your DH is fine with it.

This!

wiscgirl95 · January 2010

If you and your DH don't care it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Go enjoy dinner with your friend!

SkyBee · January 2010

Kiki11:
Ummm... I think it would be weird if you were in town and didn't have dinner with a close friend! I think your mom is being a little old fashioned.

this

k-mart · January 2010

I think it's fine to go to dinner with him.

RFBsbride · January 2010

Your mother sounds a lot like my mother - I can totally see my mother saying the very same thing. It's either a generational thing it it's what they would think if they saw two people dining together....

I don't see anything wrong with it.... I think it's cool that your are good enough friends with your DH's friends that you don't need DH to hang out with the person. Have fun!

Dragonfly1226 · January 2010

I think it will be nice for you to spend time with a friend. IMO, there's nothing wrong with it at all.

Go out and try to have a little fun

SweetDahlia · January 2010

I think it's perfectly fine to go to dinner with a friend. It's not at all improper.

hopingforbaby#1in2010 · January 2010

MoFree:

When I mentioned this to my mother she told me in her sternest voice that "It just doesn't look right" and "What will people think."

doesnt look right to whom? who will know... very strange comment seeing as we are not in a small town in 1950, im sure no one will even notice... mothers are so strange sometimes!

itsmyangel · January 2010

i think there's nothing wrong with it and proves that you are strong in your relationship if you're both trusting nothing to happen....i hang with dh's friends all the time....they're kinda more like brothers at this point

Yellow_Daisy · January 2010

I think it is fine. Our mother's are from a different generation and I think then it would have looked bad, today it is totally normal. If DH is fine with it I don't think anything else matters. I think it is nice that he wants to take you to dinner I am sure you can use the break and just some friendly conversation.

kkghotty · January 2010

I don't think it is wrong at all. DH has lunch/dinner occasionally with a good friend of mine that he works with and I have had dinner/drinks with a good friend of his who has come through town on a visit. No biggie. I think that it is sweet that DH is excited you are going.

BenandDina · January 2010

Molly,

I think that it's a generational difference; thirty years ago, people would have misconstrued this type of relationship, but in this day and age, it's completely appropriate and a great thing to do for yourself in this time of stress.

Echloe · January 2010

Kiki11:
Ummm... I think it would be weird if you were in town and didn't have dinner with a close friend! I think your mom is being a little old fashioned.

this

BeccaLandes · January 2010

I would go. I say it only doesn't look right if you are flashing your cleavage, playing footsie, or holding hands.

I go out for dinner with male friends without my husband, and it doesn't bother either one of us, because we both know that my intentions (and the guy's) are not romantic in the least. I had male friends before we were married, and will continue to have them now!

ginger67 · January 2010

Sounds fun, maybe he will tell you some fun embarrassing stories about DH! We have the best restaurants! I bet he will take you someplace great!

newsbaby · January 2010

yodasmistress:
Kiki11:
I think your mom is being a little old fashioned.

I agree. Enjoy yourself!

ichoosehope · January 2010

I say go and have a good time. It is completely appropriate to have dinner with a friend!

GenRN45 · January 2010

kimarino13:
I think it's a nice gesture on his part and I see nothing wrong with it at all. Have fun.

rachel06 · January 2010

Nope not improper at all. Some of my best friends are guys. So I do this a fair amount. Plus I have taken DH's friends to football games & such where he didn't go.

2006july15bride · January 2010

momagain2009:
There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, especially if your DH is fine with it.

I agree and like a PP said, your mom is being a bit old fashioned.

juliannat · January 2010

Totally ok in my books, esp if your DH is ok with it. You deserve a night out and a chance to relax and enjoy yourself, given what you are going through right now. I hope you have a nice time.

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