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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
God effin' help me, MIL.
She's visiting from out of state, and of course DH is at work. I am trying to WFH, so I am in my office upstairs. This pains me b/c I don't care for her 'parenting' style. She was/is a shitshow with her own kids, and I'm happy she has limited contact w/DD.
But, I had a few things to take care of at work, and am listening to them playing downstairs. MIL has been told NOT to do several things, yet I can hear her:
1) Using baby talk. That infuriates DH and me. We've told her-- including this AM-- that we don't want her saying shiit like, "You bing Gamma toys 'n' make da moosic? Awww, you makin' pitty moosic..." F**KING STOP IT. We've explained why we hate it and don't want it, so knock it off.
2) Calling herself "Grandma". My mom is DD's "Grandma", and even when I was pg we ALL agreed they'd have different names so as not to confuse DD. My mom watches DD 3x/week, so DD *knows* who "Grandma" is.
DD was in her highchair w/her back to MIL this AM, and MIL said, "Grandma's here!!" and DD started squealing and clapping, then started to cry when she saw it was MIL and not my mom. But still she's down there saying, "Bring your book to Grandma..." I told MIL even this AM that she can call herself Grammy, Nana, whatever, but not Grandma, b/c that's confusing, and to DD, "Grandma" is another person. I don't care if it makes me sound bitchy. Seeing my kid cry b/c of a bait and switch justifies my stance, IMO.
3) I had to TELL her yesterday (for the 10000th time in 12 years) to wash her goddamn hands after she goes to the bathroom. MIL, I mean, not my child. MIL will use the bathroom, and walk out. No water, no soap, nothing. Even if I were not a germophobe, that's STILL infuriatingly disgusting, unhealthy, disrespectful, reckless, whatever. NOT AROUND MY KID. I shouldn't have to ask a 55 yo woman if she's washed her hands after 'potty'.
There's more but this vent felt good. She needs to go back home before I snap.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: God effin' help me, MIL.
God, I wish.
I was thinking the same thing. I mean first off how do you know she isn't washing her hands, to you put your ear up against the door when she goes to the bathroom. The whole post is strange to me, but maybe I am just more laid back. LOL
This exactly...I was just waiting for someone else to say it first
The not washing the hands is gross, I'll give you that....but your other complaints are pretty ridiculous, IMO. Certaintly not worth flipping out over.
It's really easy to hear water running just by walking past the bathroom and baby talk? for a toddler? I think not.
I would be annoyed too.
Agreed.
another mil "rant" that makes me terrified of becoming a mil. jeez.
I say vent about your MIL as much as you want! I bet you're being more polite to her in person and just need to let off some steam.
The hand-washing thing I totally understand. You can tell a person didn't wash their hands when you can still hear the toilet flushing as they're opening the door.
When I was little I had a "Grandpa" and a "Grandpa Jim". Maybe you can add her first or last name after Grandma/Nana/etc. when you say her name to DD, to help DD understand.
I actually understand the grandma issue.
If I say grandma, DC wants my mom. DC would be confused and upset if I said "grandma is here" and someone other than my mom came through the door.
However, I'd just put up with it for the short while that your MIL is staying. And the handwashing is gross.
i would be really offended as a grandmother if my DIL said i couldn't be grandma b/c her mom was. many many kids have two "grandmas" - i for one always did and never felt confused. i would be highly insulted. you already said you don't like her parenting and are happy she isn't around much, yet your mom sees your DD 3x a week. thats probably really hard for her. she is her grandma too, bottom line. i think you are really being unfair there.
the baby talk thing? meh. irritating maybe, but the end of the world, no. she doesn't see her enough to have it effect her.
the hand washing. that is the only point i'm really not ok with. i would be so grossed out. that is something worthy of a rant. the rest of it just sounds trite.
Totally agree.
My guess is that these aren't the only things that bug you about her. You seem like a pretty normal person from other posts of yours I've read, and those three things aren't THAT crazy. I am guessing those are 3 of 1000 little things that are driving you nuts.
Like, if she rarely comes, why decide to come on a Wednesday while you and DH have to work?
this. You need to lighten up a tad.
The bathroom thing is gross and I don't blame you for saying something.
The rest of your post is ridiculous. I had two grandmothers and I wasn't so confused and a little baby talk won't kill anyone, toddler or not.
#3 should be your #1. Then maybe the whole post would have been better received... because your first two complaints... yeah. I rolled my eyes.
Very much this.
ditto. there are worse things, i can assure you.
Wow you sound like a peach, I am praying right now I never have a DIL like you.
I wish my MIL "problems" were as petty as yours, time to grow up.
LOL - I'm the exact opposite ... I called all of my grandmothers/great grandmothers 'Grandma' ... and now my kid has a Grandma, a Nana, a Granny, a Grandmama, 2 Great Grandmas and a Mama (great GREAT grandmother) and I can't even keep up with all the names, how the hell is a 19 month old supposed to???
Annoyances are ALWAYS going to be there with family. I can't stand how his Granny calls him 'Granny's baby' ... um, actually, he's MY baby. But it makes her happy ... and it's not doing him any harm.
Pick your battles and you'll be a MUCH happier DIL.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
YOU are also high maintenance. the only problem with your MIL is that she doesn't wash her hands. everything else is normal for a grandma.
SHE is a grandma.
so you see her what, a couple of times/year? yeah, you oughtta unwad those panties.