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Single Parents
ShanJosh777
member
Support/custody hearing update
ShanJosh777
member
Things went the way I wanted them to go, H did end up going along with our previously agreed upon arrangement. So it was a very simple process, we didn't have to have a hearing in front of a judge, and I didn't cry!
In addition to support, he is required to pay the mortgage on our home until the divorce is final, at which point he will have to either refinance it or we will have to sell it. But he did say that he wants to refinance it, as selling it isn't really a feasible option because we have very little equity, if any. He said that he wouldn't be opposed to me and DS staying in the house even after the divorce though, because he doesn't want to live in it (he works 40 miles away and is getting an apartment near there) and he doesn't want to lose money by selling it, or worry about finding tenants to rent.
So I don't know how that will all play out legally, but I am hoping that it can be arranged, since DS is comfortable here, it's furnished, and it's nicer than anything I would be able to afford to rent. I think it would be great for us, at least temporarily until I can get back on my feet financially, IF that ever happens.
Has anyone else had or heard of an arrangement like that after a divorce? If anyone has any insight, let me know. But for the time being, I am happy with the way things went.
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Re: Support/custody hearing update
Yeah, he didn't want to agree at first either. He wanted to get away with paying as little as possible. But I think that once he thought about it, he realized that he was going to have to pay a lot more than he thought. So I'm grateful that he finally realized that we could make things a lot easier by agreeing. He is paying me a little less cash support than I would have been awarded, but I am living rent-free. So it's a win-win I guess.
ETA: And my ex's name is Josh too. AND it's DS's middle name. I was totally against using it, but I compromised and now I totally regret it. But I guess I should just be happy that I didn't agree to a Joshua Jr. like he wanted.
This is weird, but my ex's name is Joshua too, but I call him Douchebag.
Shan, I had a sort of similar situation. We owned two houses,and ex got the lake house (far more expensive) and I got the starter home we bought when we first got married. It's still nice, but smaller, and it needed some updating. I wanted the smaller house bc the payments are much lower, and it is in the coveted school district in our county. (I had to pull DD out of a private school this year.) Main difference is that my ex is soley responsible for the lake house, and I the other house, payments and all. I cannot refinance it right now, bc I think I owe more than it would appraise at, and it has a ridiculously low interest rate that I won't be able to get again. My biggest fear is that he will file bankruptcy and it will affect my home.
We have discussed house payment in lieu of cs, but from what I understand, unless it is funds paid directly to me, the court doesn't see that as child support. I guess as long as I don't bring it up though, they wouldn't find out. Either way, I opted out of this bc I like to be sure that the mortgage is paid on time, and I can't always count on his cs.
I was concerned about this also, because he was adamant about paying the mortgage directly to the bank and not me. But there is language in the order that states that if he misses a mortgage payment, then the amount of the mortgage payment will also become wage attached (as the rest of the support is) and will come to me. So hopefully it all works out.
I'm beginning to think Josh is a bad name. My couisn's abusive ex was also a Josh.
And way to look on the brightside! Rent free. :] I'd be lucky if DB put forth some money on my prenatals. LOL. He's a cheapskate. Maybe he'll stop being a douche if I don't persue cs. Maybe.. maybe...
A douche is a douche is a douche. Your actions (or lack of) cannot change him. It is what it is.