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Advice from seasoned mom of multiples to new moms

stillhopingstillhoping
in Multiples

I have thought about writing this post for some time and was not entirely sure anyone would even read it, but well I am bored and wanted to share what did and what did not work for me.

 

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was schedule, routine, schedule, routine.. etc. Everything was scheduled in my house to the point that yes I had a feeding/diaper changing/medicine schedule by day. It was important to keep up with this for the doctors visits, they always want to know if everyone is pooping, peeing etc every day, by writing it on the chart i could just take them in with me (I keep them in a three ring binder) my schedule had a space on the bottom for notes, comments and concerns. 

 

Create a question sheet to bring with you to the doctor per child at the top I had the childs name, weight at last doctors apt then a spot for new weight, same for height and head measurement and % they were in. Under was a space for my questions and room to write down what the doctor said. Trust me you will want to write it down because you will forgret and with that many babies you need the reminders.

 

Routine and schedule sleep. Yes get them on a sleep schedule early on in life, and get them to self sooth as early as possible. I never really did CIO, but I also never rocked them to sleep. I would put them to bed awake and they would coo and make noise and go off to sleep from very early on. They had to do this in the NICU so they were used to it, that makde it easier. My kids are now six years old bed time has always been easy as pie, we say time for bed up they go, brush their teeth read a book and in bed they go, they even go to bed for sitters that easy..

 

Noise, noise noise.. do not limit noise in the house when they are sleeping, have them used to it, you do not want to have to be quiet as a mouse when they are asleep. Mine slept on the first floor of the house for naps, with me watching television, vacuuming, etc. 

 

If your gut tells you something is wrong THEN SOMETHING IS WRONG. I did not follow my instinct when it came to Douglas, oh I called the doctors, called the NICU we graduated from and asked if this was normal, he grunted a lot and seemed to be in pain a good bit of the time, especialy after eating, they all told me oh its fine. Well when he stopped eating two weeks later, got admitted to the hospital with a bowel obstruction and I was told he was HIGHLY allergic to milk and chances were so were the other two. We switched them all to rx formula and bm spent $250.00 a week on formula.. but hey it was worth it for him not to be in pain. poor little man

RSV Season, you can not be too careful, yes it is a royal pia to stay inside for six months out of the year, but really which would you rather cabin fever for you (because trust me they have no clue) or a long hospital stay for your babies with the worst possible outcome.

The first year is going to go by so fast, write in a journal and not just a blog things you want to remember, always keep a camera close by and yes there will come a time that someone will ask you how you did it and you will say I have no clue it is a big fog to me..

If you have help, family etc, make a chore list, things you need help with, laundry, making bottles, washing bottles, cleaning floors etc. you should be spending time with the babies and well they should be helping with other things, and do not forget the purelle at the door and the washing hands. You can not be too safe with their health. 

 

Again, my best advice is to schedule, everything We ate at the same time everyday, we followed the same routine for everything, for exampl:

6:00 wake up - Change clothes, diapers etc, bottle play time

8:00 change diaper back to sleep

11:00 wake up change diaper, clothes if necessary bottle or breast, go on a walk

1:00 change diaper and nap time

3:00 to 4;00 wake up change diaper clothes if necessary bottle or breast floor time etc, this was always closer to four when one baby would wake up I would go get all three up at the same time.

6:00 bath time, change into pjs, read story, massage, bottle, change diaper again and in bed by seven.

 

okay this was not my infant schedule but it is an example of what we would do every day, same time same routine. my sister joked with me once that I scheduled their bm's Which I probably did.. 

Having such a strict schedule and bedtime routine has resulted in me having almost six year olds that will still nap for me. 

 

Be consistent with discipline,  if you are not then it does no good.

You can not spoil a baby less than six months old it is important to teach them that they can depend on you to be there for them when they need you.

 

I never make a big deal about boo boo's if it is not bleeding and you are breathing then everything is okay. We do not put a band aid on every small thing. 

Hmm I am sure there is more but I have written a long enough book for now..

 

 

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Re: Advice from seasoned mom of multiples to new moms

  • NerwakNerwak

    Thank you for the great ideas and for posting this!

    I'm worried about scheduling/recording everything and would love to find a template where I can keep track of things - did you make yours or find one online somewhere?

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  • stillhopingstillhoping

    I got it from justmultiples.com

    https://www.justmultiples.com/triple-time-3mos.html

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  • ethansbride2bethansbride2b

    thanks for the advice. 

    I write down everything too.  The time and volume eaten at every feeding, their daily vitamins, every diaper change (wet, bm), I have a column for bath and temperature also for when I need it.

    I swear, if I didn't keep a log throughout the day, I would get confused.  Sleep deprivation can really get to you and like you said, its good to have a record for when you go to the pedi.

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  • tiki_ttiki_t

    Can I add something to this?

    I took a twins class and apparently some twin moms get really bent out of shape when one too many strangers ask them if their kids are twins. So much so that the people teaching the class had such angry responses that it bordered verbally violent. I wondered what they were doing wrong and ran my own experiment that led to this advice:

    -If  you don't want to invest time talking to people about your twins, if you are out on a stroll and a stranger approaches you and asks if they are twins, politely say yes but keep walking briskly. 99.9% of the time people will just drop it after that. Should the .1% happen just tell them you are in a hurry (for whatever reason such as they are hungry or need a diaper change). 

    -If you are stopped and you don't walk to talk, you can say, "Yes but I don't want to be rude so I'll just let you know that right now I have my hands full and don't have time to talk more about it." Most of the time people respect this.  You also need to be proactive about it because if you aren't, someone's going to tell you all about how they either are a twin or know one. 

    If you do want to talk, then stop and talk. 

     

    The other piece of advice that I have comes from my birthing class on unsolicited advice. It is frustrating that everyone wants to give you their 2 cents. Just nod and at the end say, "I'm glad that works/worked for you." No commitment to what they say, no arguing, and you can just keep on going from there. 



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  • stillhopingstillhoping

    I love the I am glad that worked for you piece of advice.

     

    at the end of the day you have to do what works best for you and your family. There are things that I Sucked at and thins I did really well. I learned from my mistakes. 

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    Thanks for taking the time to write all that up! :)
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • dleigh81dleigh81

    Thank you for this! There's so much to think about and it's nice to hear what others do to succeed. BTW, your kids are beautiful!

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  • MNheidiMNheidi member
    Couldn't agree more w/ all your advice and will high five you on the "things to do" list.  We had a lot of OOT visitors/guests in the first month or so.  They all wanted to help but esp. if they were only there for a weekend, it was hard to have them REALLY help w/ the babies.  But maintaining the house was always something that needed tending to as well.
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  • janjagjanjag member

    thank you for this.  i really wish i'd been able to keep mine on a schedule after we came home from the nicu.  it took me until 5mos + to get them eating at the same time, and naps were all over the place until about 6mos.... exhausting! 

    i would absolutely advise MOMs to log everything (eating/diapers/meds/sleep/etc) everyday.  also have a binder, and we got our template from one of the twin pg books.  in fact i absolutely cannot imagine functioning without the log. 

    when did you find you didn't need to log anymore? 

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  • mlkwmumlkwmu

    This is such excellent advice. Thanks for taking the time to write this up.  I've been reading a twin book that talks about getting twins on a schedule and gives examples.  For example wake up in the morning, feed/nurse, sleep for 2.5 hours, wake up, feed/nurse, play, sleep and so on to include bath time, reading books, etc.  I hope I can do something of that sort when they are born.. I'll give it my best try.

    Currently I'm into reading the baby bargain book and trying to figure out how many PIP, swings, which mattress/double strollers are best.  It's complete insane! 

     Thanks again for all this info.  It's really helpful.

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  • daisybride78daisybride78

    Thanks so much for the advice and info....I track and write down every feeding and diaper and its really helpful.

    I love getting advice from those who hae been there, so thank you for sharing!

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  • AlisaSAlisaS member

    If your kids are healthy and eating, pooping and gaining weight, why on earth do you need to keep a log every day?

    I never kept a strict schedule and it felt fine. The moms I know that have tried to adhere to that type of thing were often the most stressed out. Rigidity is no fun.

    Just find the schedule that works for you and go with it.

     

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  • ZaIreryZaIrery

    Thanks for the advice!

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  • stillhopingstillhoping
    imagejanjag:

    thank you for this.  i really wish i'd been able to keep mine on a schedule after we came home from the nicu.  it took me until 5mos + to get them eating at the same time, and naps were all over the place until about 6mos.... exhausting! 

    i would absolutely advise MOMs to log everything (eating/diapers/meds/sleep/etc) everyday.  also have a binder, and we got our template from one of the twin pg books.  in fact i absolutely cannot imagine functioning without the log. 

    when did you find you didn't need to log anymore? 

     

    I stopped when I took the bottles a way so a year old, but I did keep up the questions to ask concerns sheet for going to the doctor

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  • stillhopingstillhoping
    because my kids were premature and we did have bathroom issues. It is important to keep up with these things. With three you sometimes forgot who you just feed. One night I had an argument with my mil about who I had and I had changed the friggin diaper. I said I had kalie she said no I have Kalie, I said look she is wearing pink, she said well so is mine. I looked down to check the diaper and what do you know I had douglas.. so yes the schedule was important for us
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  • DESXFDESXF

    Thank you so much for this.  I'm going to print it out and post it on the kitchen wall to remind myself.

    Its good to have the advice of someone who has already been there!

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    We're still logging at 12.5 months! But we have issues (food allergies, recurring constipation issues, trying to track how much milk they're drinking since it's more unpredictable since switching to whole milk and DH and I each have the boys at different times of day), plus we have to keep track of how often we give Will certain eczema meds. Extended log-keeping works for some people and it only takes a couple minutes a day. AlisaS just likes to criticize people for whatever reason she can find. I think she's read the book "How to Lose Friends and Annoy People."
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • Purple_ButterfliesPurple_Butterflies

    Thank you for this info - I will also print and save in my baby folder

     

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  • mrskimmieDmrskimmieD member
    imageAlisaS:

    If your kids are healthy and eating, pooping and gaining weight, why on earth do you need to keep a log every day?

    I never kept a strict schedule and it felt fine. The moms I know that have tried to adhere to that type of thing were often the most stressed out. Rigidity is no fun.

    Just find the schedule that works for you and go with it.

    If you don't agree with her, there is a much nicer way to go about it.

    I am sure a lot of the pregnant women and new mom's on here appreciated the advice.  She was at least nice enough to come on here and offer what has worked for her.  The only time you come on here is to be nasty to people and put them down for ding things differently then you.

    FWIW, scheduling and logging worked out well for us to.  I gave up on logging around 6 months because they ate the same amount at every feeding and were great with peeing & pooping.  But I agree on the scheduling!  It helped me keep sane during the day in knowing what was to come throughout the day.

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  • Cath&BrianCath&Brian

    imagemacchiatto:
    We're still logging at 12.5 months! But we have issues (food allergies, recurring constipation issues, trying to track how much milk they're drinking since it's more unpredictable since switching to whole milk and DH and I each have the boys at different times of day), plus we have to keep track of how often we give Will certain eczema meds. Extended log-keeping works for some people and it only takes a couple minutes a day. AlisaS just likes to criticize people for whatever reason she can find. I think she's read the book "How to Lose Friends and Annoy People."

    OMG LOL!!! :)?

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  • stillhopingstillhoping

    imagemacchiatto:
    We're still logging at 12.5 months! But we have issues (food allergies, recurring constipation issues, trying to track how much milk they're drinking since it's more unpredictable since switching to whole milk and DH and I each have the boys at different times of day), plus we have to keep track of how often we give Will certain eczema meds. Extended log-keeping works for some people and it only takes a couple minutes a day. AlisaS just likes to criticize people for whatever reason she can find. I think she's read the book "How to Lose Friends and Annoy People."

     

    You mentioned you have allergies, the constipation etc could be a result of the milk, you may consider switching to lactaid, they have it in vitamin D as well. I had that issue with Douglas he was so allergic, I also noticed that when I gave him Lactaid his excema was much better. 

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    Interesting! Their 12m appt is on Monday; I'll ask the pedi about that. (He tested negative for a milk allergy but I know that's not always reliable.)
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • blairsgirlblairsgirl
    imageAlisaS:

    If your kids are healthy and eating, pooping and gaining weight, why on earth do you need to keep a log every day?

    I never kept a strict schedule and it felt fine. The moms I know that have tried to adhere to that type of thing were often the most stressed out. Rigidity is no fun.

    Just find the schedule that works for you and go with it.

     

    Clearly we are not all a perfect Mom like you.  My kids have health issues and keeping a log is actually a lot easier than trying to remember when they last had all of their medications, ate, and pooped.  FWIW, it doesn't make everyone stressed out.   

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  • rachboj22rachboj22

    i love this...thank you for sharing :)

     it's nice to know you survive!

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  • stillhopingstillhoping
    Yes you survive... with some of your sanity.
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  • amanda31Hamanda31H member
    I really appreciated this!  I'm a scheduler anyway, so it's nice to hear that some MoMs were able to do it very successfully.  The twin books I've read also encourage a schedule, and even though they were written by twin MoMs, it's nice to hear from others that, Yes, this is possible!
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  • Million$$BabyMillion$$Baby
    imageblairsgirl:
    imageAlisaS:

    If your kids are healthy and eating, pooping and gaining weight, why on earth do you need to keep a log every day?

    I never kept a strict schedule and it felt fine. The moms I know that have tried to adhere to that type of thing were often the most stressed out. Rigidity is no fun.

    Just find the schedule that works for you and go with it.

     

    Clearly we are not all a perfect Mom like you.  My kids have health issues and keeping a log is actually a lot easier than trying to remember when they last had all of their medications, ate, and pooped.  FWIW, it doesn't make everyone stressed out.   

    Ditto this! I need a log to help remember who did what when. It also helps when I go out and DH is home with them so he can look back and see what their day has been like. Everyone does things differently. No need to criticize.

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  • susanbsusanb

    Your kids are getting so big! They are gorgeous! I agree with all you said and scheduling worked for me too.

     Scheduling is not "Rigidity", it's CONSISTENCY. Many babies/toddlers and older kids thrive on consistency.  They always know what to expect and when. They know that after they eat they will be bathed and changed and put down for sleep...that in the mornings they get playtime and at night they get stories or silly time.. My kids thrived on it and frankly still do. They set their own schedules more than we set them - but they still like consistency - it's their warm and fuzzy.

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  • MandieSueMMandieSueM
    imageAlisaS:

    If your kids are healthy and eating, pooping and gaining weight, why on earth do you need to keep a log every day?

    I never kept a strict schedule and it felt fine. The moms I know that have tried to adhere to that type of thing were often the most stressed out. Rigidity is no fun.

    Just find the schedule that works for you and go with it.

    Raising triplets is a WORLD of difference from raising twins.  When you have two babies and two hands, things are a lot easier than when you have a baby left without a hand to hold or feed it.  Don't get it twisted.  You have no idea what you're talking about.

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  • stillhopingstillhoping


    Raising triplets is a WORLD of difference from raising twins.  When you have two babies and two hands, things are a lot easier than when you have a baby left without a hand to hold or feed it.  Don't get it twisted.  You have no idea what you're talking about.


    This

     

    I am not sure how many times I wish I had a third arm and hand.. or leg, when they start fighting who is going to sit by mommy, who can see mommy in the car who can touch mommy at the table.. OMG I need three of me

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