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Wondering if PPD or just due to loss...(Intro)

roxyttandmeroxyttandme member
in Postpartum Depression

Hi ladies...

I delivered my daughter in August and she was stillborn. Obviously, there are a ton of emotions surrounding our loss. Beyond just loosing our baby- the way we lost her brings on another layer of guilt, pain and suffering.

I can't help but wonder if some of my depression could also be PPD. DH is back to his normal self... and I am stuck in this dark whole and at times it doesn't seem like there is light in sight. It seems like I live in a bubble of pain and I can't seem to pop it. I can't watch normal TV anymore- cause it makes me cry. If they show anything on Haiti- I have to walk out of the room. In my mind, I think - "there must be babies suffering there..." and I loose it and reflect on our loss.

I was seeing a therapist - but, we didn't mesh well - so I stopped going. I was on Zoloft- but, quit that too-  cause it didn't seem like it was helping.

So, this is my question- how is one diagnosed w/ PPD?

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Re: Wondering if PPD or just due to loss...(Intro)

  • jaime5121jaime5121
    I'm so sorry for your loss - I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.  I would call your OB, they can set you up with a different therapist.  A therapist or your OB generally will diagnose you with PPD.  I hope you find some peace in your heart.
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  • rosesandpeoniesrosesandpeonies member

    Hi.  I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.  I agree with the pp...call your OB and tell them what has been going on so that they can send you in the right direction.  There are many support groups and therapists that are there for women that have gone through similar things.  They would be able to tell you what could be going on and give you the tools you need.  Again, I am sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you :)

    ETA:  Also, sometimes with medication you might have to try a few to find the right one.  It also takes at least a month on any given medication for it to start helping.

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  • madhatter2003madhatter2003

    I remember your story...big hugs.

    I'd call your PCP or OB, whichever you feel better going to at this point.  I'd definitely try to find someone knew to talk with.  A loss will take time to mourn, but that doesn't mean you need to mourn it alone.

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  • EnglishMajor03EnglishMajor03 member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  This is incredibly sad.  I'm sure there are a million triggers in your life that just remind you of losing your LO.   My situation is a bit different because my mom died the day DD#1 was born.  DD was also born with serious health issues that will never go away and it was incredibly traumatic for us.  Like you, I wasn't sure if I had PPD or just depression from the events.  In the end, it didn't make a difference.  I needed help and got on meds and started seeing a therapist...of course this was almost a year after the fact and quite a miserable time for DH and I.

    I suffered PTSD from my situation; I can't imagine you didn't. Although you didn't click with this one therapist you should definitely seek out another.  What happened to you is far too big to try to sort out by yourself.  I know it's tough, but I strongly encourage  you to get some help.

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  • itsspykittyitsspykitty

    You've gotten great advice from PPs.

    I just wanted to give you (((BIG HUGS))) 

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  • itsspykittyitsspykitty

    Girl- I just read your story. Do you know how unbelievably courageous you are? My heart aches for you. Your OB or even a church group may be able to help (you mentioned a pastor in your bio) 

    (((hugs))) 

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  • Waiting4baby08Waiting4baby08
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I delivered my son stillborn in September 2008 and it is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.  My heart aches for you and I know how "dark" it is for you.  It took me a long time before I finally went on zoloft because I kept thinking, well, my baby died so I'm supposed to be sad.  And I knew I had a reason to be sad.  Finally a counselor helped me realize that yes, I do have reason to be sad and what I was feeling was normal, but it doesn't mean I can't try to help myself have "better" days.  You are trying to decide if it is PPD or just due to your loss - it is probably both, but honestly, it doesn't matter...what matters is that you are feeling this grief.  And I hope you can do something to feel better.  Lots of that pain will never go away, but if you can do something to help you function better in daily life, it might be worth it.  It sure was for me.  Hugs to you.
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