Let me just preface this by saying that I'm not looking for sympathy in this post. Not at all. I just want to get this crap off my chest.
It's been almost 2 years since the first, and only time I managed to get pregnant. I'm stuck. I don't know if I belong here, or over at the IF board.
I have also started to accept the fact that babies don't seem to be in my future. I'm not happy with this, but I'm starting to be ok with it.
This sounds sick, and twisted, but I just wish that I'd at least get some sort of sign that I can get pregnant again, even if it were to result in another loss. I might have some sort of hope. But as it stands now - I've got nothing more than an empty ute.
*Sigh*
Sorry ladies.
Re: Came to a realization...
You may not want sympathy but I can at least give you a virtual hug (((HUGS))). This royally sucks. I can understand what you are feeling though, especially the doubt and frustration.
I'm sorry. It's a different journey than mine but that doesn't mean it's not a real pain.
I wish I knew what to say, I really do.
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Maybe you belong here and on IF. I mean, you ARE TTCAL, after all. While simultaneously having fat fvck tube issues.
I don't think it sounds sick or twisted, but as someone who *can* get pregnant again but is almost certain to have another loss, I'll tell you it's not more hopeful. It's just a different kind of hopelessness. You're scared of seeing a BFN every month; I'm scared of seeing a BFP.
If babies aren't in either of our futures, I say we get together in Vegas every year to drink profusely and listen to 80s hair band covers.
BFP #1 2-8-09 Natural M/C 6w1d 2-19-09
BFP #2 5-28-09 C/P 6-1-09
BFP #3 10-30-10 Natural M/C 12-8-10
BFP #4 1-16-12 EDD 9-18-12 Stick baby stick!!
This made me snort.
Please google Steel Panther, and bask in their awesomeness
Thank you ladies... I really don't know what I'd do without you all. I want to kick the universe in the proverbial Vag.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]
I just want to give you a world as beautiful as you are to me.
I am so sorry you are going through this crappy journey. it took me almost 2 years to get pregnant after dealing with IF so I can relate somewhat. you definitely belong on this board - I think the support here is great.
hang in there......
(((HUGS)))
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
I definitely think you belong here. Obviously you can visit that board as needed, but please don't go away:)
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Sorry. How frustrating. I hope you stick around, though I know it's hard to be here for a while and see so many people come and go more quickly. There are a number of ladies who frequent both boards. The IF ladies are very sweet and supportive and full of tons of information.
Don't apologize hon. We love you and you know you're always welcome here. There are many ladies here in all different types of situations. If we don't have the answers for you - go ahead and check out the IF board. It might be good to have more input.
(((hugs)))