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Blended Families
penelopepink09
member
Ex visiting DD from out of state...
penelopepink09
member
But not getting a rental car. I'm in Colorado, and the weather here is historically very sporatic and always changing.
My mom is advising me that if he doesn't have a rental car, to not let him take her from my house, even if that means dealing with the local police. Our feeling is that it's unreasonable to expect me to just let him walk off with her in the middle of January.
Am I right? Or being unreasonable??
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ex visiting DD from out of state...
I don't think you're being unreasonable, I think you are being ridiculous. There are tons of kids that use public transport every day and survive the cold weather. Wrap her up warm and let her go enjoy her time with her dad. If she goes to a local park and throws snowballs with him it might turn out to be one of her greatest childhood memories.
Everyone wants to keep their kids safe and warm, just not at the expense of a relationship with their other parent. If you try to stop visitation you will be in contempt of a court order. I would like to be there when you tell the judge it was to cold for visitation
I agree 100% with phantom. You asked our advice and we gave it to you. Give me a break it isn't even that cold here. DS typically runs around in his hooded sweatshirt and is plenty warm and his 17 months. I always keep his jacket and gloves near by if need be. If we plan on being out side a long period of time I have his jacket so he can be warmer. I have no problem taking my ds out in the "cold" weather of colorado to play in the snow or whatever if he is appropiatly bundled. It has been in the mid 40's here all week and you are acting like it is below zero. Now if that were the case I might discuss other options. But talk to the freaking BD and find out what his plans are and that way you can dress and pack your daughter accordingly. A judge and the police here aren't going to look at you very highly if you call them and deny the BD visitation. It will never make you look good.
To be honest up until this point everyone on here has been really nice about "advice" for you no one has been snooty. If you can't take the advice you were given don't ask it. We are all more than happy to give the advice. Get over yourself and do what is best for your daughter.
So i see there is more to the story than you shared with us. https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/30129351.aspx
First of all I don't understand why you aren't supposed to help him. You really need to look at it as doing this for your daughter and not doing this for her BD. If he plans on taking the LR then I would make sure you pack a day bag for her of the things she "might" need. It doesn't sound like he really has a lot of plans of being out for long periods with out a car. It sounds like he will be close to the hotel so if the weather turns he can take her there. As for the transportation issue is there a LR closer to your house? Can you make arrangements to meet there. I know sometimes things can be an inconvience, but to be honest you are making your daughter more of an inconvience than him. At least you should be able to agree on a meeting time and place. LR is a good public transportation system and she doesn't need a carseat for that. I know it doesn't go all over the place but it does have a lot of stops all over the metro area. I really would try and meet him somewhere and I agree it would be better somewhere neutral than at your moms house.
Hmm. I think that you are doing a disservice to your daughter. This should be about her, not you and from what I have read in both posts all you say is that it is inconvenient for you and that you are "busy." Wow, your daughter's father travels from CA and you are too busy to drop her off at Grandma's and you are making it out that you don't want her in the cold. Sorry, I live in Chicago and there are babies out all over the city, on buses, sidewalks, etc. At least be honest about your reasoning. If it were me I would have offered to meet him at the airport and drop the two of them off wherever he was taking her and then pick her up. Because that's what's best for her.
Also, if you aren't reasonable you are going to get very set rules regarding visitation, you might find your self being ordered by the court to take her to a place that is reasonable for both of you, 15 minutes from his hotel and 20 minutes from your hose; sounds like a reasonable drop off place to me.
What do you mean you are not "supposed" to help him? How about helping your child have a relationship with his father? The man is traveling from CA and if he has only traveled 4 times AND not getting a rental car I am guessing because of the expense. So he has to buy the plane ticket and the hotel and you cannot meet him to drop your child off because of inconvenience?? Really??
My LO's BD lives an hour and a half away and we split the drive pretty even. Is it inconvenient for me?? Absolutely. Have I ever complained?? Never.
So, how about having a morsel of sympathy for for your LO's father that does not get the pleasure of being with your child all the time and meeting him to drop off and pick up LO. I understand it not being at your mom's house if she is not comfortable. Let him know- my mom's house is not an option so tell me where else you would like to meet.
If the court order says it must be agreeable than try to work WITH him not against him. He obviously thinks something crazy is going to happen if he is pulling out the cop card so quickly. Give hime the option that he can choose to meet somewhere else. I think it is unreasonable not to do that.