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Single Parents
why my life is easier
so since becoming a single parent last week, all i can think about is how hard this is and how hard it is gonna be in the future - raising DS alone. it overwhelms me so im just taking it day by day and decided to come up with why life is easier without STBXH. feel free to add!
1. i dont have to worry about making dinner every night. DS is just starting solids, and i'm fine with cereal! when i was a SAHM i kinda felt obligated to cook dinner since i was home anyways.
2. no more messes in the bathroom!
3. laundry has been cut into like a 1/3! i swear STBXH clothes were so big compared to mine and DS's they took up like 3x the space in the hampers.
4. the house stays organized.
5. no more blaring football games or x-box playing in the living room.
6. i load the dishwasher as i use the dishes - something he could never seem to do.
7. i dont have to hear his opinion about how i look/what im wearing, etc.
8. if i feel like doing something or going somewhere, i just pack up DS and we go have fun!
uhhh...there's gotta be more. he wasn't a good husband but he was my husband and i miss him...or who i thought he was.
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Re: why my life is easier
Good for you! That is a great way to look at things!!!
I had to do the same when I left my ex of 7.5 years. He was very into HIS routine which meant that I had to follow it in order for him to be happy. Now I think I intentionally avoid anything routine (well, except for the baby...he needs routine right now) lol
That's great you are finding the positives! Here are mine
1. Going home after work is relaxing instead of stressful
2. I don't have to clean up after anybody else
3. I can go where I want when I want
4. I can make what I want for dinner
5. I can get comfortable at home (sleeping on the couch, dressing how I want, watching whatever shows I want to watch) without worrying about his reaction
I was just telling a friend last night how free I am from all of Dbag's BS. Here are the reasons I listed:
1.) His financial problems are just that, HIS PROBLEM. I never cosigned on anything, and his business had nothing to do with me. When he lost his business and ran up hundreds of thousands of dollars (fraudulently, I might add) in credit card debt and the multiple houses he owned and defaulted on, again my name was not involved. Creditors are looking for him so they can sue him, and it does not affect me at all.
2.) His so-called health issues are not my problem. He got fired from his job bc he called in sick for two weeks straight, and is playing the sympathy sick card, but again it does not affect me. His mother or his girlfriend can take care of him. It has nothing to do with me.
I know this is a short list, but these were HUGE issues - the kind that consume your life, and make you want to run away or end it all. I am free from his drama, and free to live my life on my own terms. Yay!!
I like this post and agree it is a good idea to remind ourselves why we are glad to be free of the DB's. Here is my list:
1. No more walking on eggshells about EVERYTHING I say.
2. Less contact with his WT family (and I say WT not to be offensive but they are not nice people and it is the best way I can describe them)
3. No more sharing of holidays with above mentioned WT family who thinks Precious Moments are the greatest thing EVA
4. No more fighting and worrying that the neighbors will hear
5. No more pretending to my family that things are peachy when they are really anything but that
6. No more worrying when/if he is going to come home
7. No more worrying if he is dead in a gutter somewhere because he didn't come home when really he was probably just shacked up with some meth whore
8. No more explaining simple words to him (such as woe is me, who doesn't know what that means???)
9. No more dumbing down my vocab to cater to him so that he didn't feel less than-got news for you buddy, you ARE less than!
10. No more money worries-DB would spend money like it was going out of style-sorry honey, can't give you any money for our mortgage, car payments, etc. this month but I can blow $800 in a motorcycle shop.
11. No more hiding out from creditors-who called for him every day-luckily we had nothing in our names together.
Sure there are lots more but these are what came to mind!
1.) One less kid to take care of.
2.) I don't have to lie about headaches to get out sex.
3.) I can get out of the house more.
4.) I'm free to eat japanese as I please. (He had a bad experience so I had to suffer for it. I love the stuff!!)
5.) I don't have to listen to the constant crying and poor me crap that he used to feed me.
6.) I can piss in peace. (Apparently there is something sexy about watching a girl pee?)
Of course they are! Those stupid things creep me out but apparently there is a following because I had a lot of success selling them on ebay after WT inlaws gave them to me as gifts! LOL!
wow...talk aboult tipping the scales on the creepy factor...
Some of these have been mentioned....
1. Not having to pick up after him and do his laundry and cater to him while he just sat on the couch.
2. NO MORE X BOX!!!!!!! that's all he did literally!
3. No more hearing excuses why he hasn't had a job for over a year now
4. No more supportin him finacially while he blew all of his unemployment money, and left me with the bills he "said" he was paying.
5. No more listening to him complain he "didn't feel good" some how some way!
6. Being able to see and now have a good relationship with my family!
7. To having my sister living with me being my best friend again and helping me with the twins
8. Fighting to get him to go to church with me (when he puts on this big show about how interested he is in front of the family) and making sure the twins are raised in church.
Wow. I could go on and on, but I will stop for now.
LOL!
You aren't kidding. But what made it worse was he thought that I liked to watch him pee too, so he'd leave the door open while he peed or just whip it out wherever he may have been at the time and start peeing. Even asked me if I wanted to hold it for him once. That was a little too much. I have never heard of a pee fetish before, but he clearly has one. I hated it.
ew