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XP from High Risk: Shower Advice, Please (sorta long)

bump54321bump54321 member
in 3rd Trimester

Over the weekend, my mom and I talked and we both thought it would be a good idea to postpone a baby shower and instead have a meet the baby party after Baby Sam got here since I'm on strict bed rest due to high bp and pre-e risk.  She asked me to make a list of things I thought we would need right away, and so I did.  She went to Target and bought many of those things on Sunday.  When I told my husband that she and I had talked about this, he kind of thought it was silly.

 

Yesterday, one of my friends who had originally told me that she wanted to have a shower for me was talking about it.  I told her what I had discussed with my mom and she just said, we'll figure out a way to have a shower for you because you really need to have a shower.  Then today, one of my BFFs asked if anyone had talked about a shower, and I told her about my other friend and then told her about my conversation with my mom.  She said the same thing, that I really needed to have a shower.  She suggested that we just have it at my house where I could be on the couch or propped up in a chair with my feet up.  

 

It really makes me sad to not have a shower and to tell my generous friends no.  Also, since I don't get to see people very often, it makes me sad to miss the opportunity of seeing all my friends and family.  I think I'd be ok if we had the shower at my house and I kept my feet up.  On the other hand, I know my mom will be mad and disappointed in me if I let them go through with a shower because she doesn't think it's a good idea for me right now.  I had mentioned having it at my house or somewhere I could be lying down and she thought I would have more fun if we waited until I could be up and mingle.  Plus, she already went out and bought some stuff since we thought I wouldn't be having a shower.  There is also always the possibility of me having to have the baby early and then a shower might have to be canceled.....  

 

Uggghhhh!  I don't know what to do.  Do any of you ladies have any advice?
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Re: XP from High Risk: Shower Advice, Please (sorta long)

  • inlovewowinlovewow
    I would think that having it at your house and you stay seated and not do anything, would be fine...
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  • StrawberryAlarmClockStrawberryAlarmClock member

    Tell your mom you need a small, intimate shower to lift your spirits. No "measure the belly" games or anything. Just you and 10 close girlfriends/family.

    Then, you can have a Meet The Baby party after LO is here. Maybe something co-ed, gifts not expected.

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers ***This space reserved for photo of new squish***
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  • curlychiccurlychic member
    Honestly, I would ask your friends to please wait until after the baby is born.  If people are at your house, you are going to want to clean the house before and after and feel like you have to entertain them while they are there. You will also feel like you need to make food, etc.  If your OB has put you on bed rest, then your friends should understand this. 
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  • sadiwestsadiwest

    Just my opinion...I'd wait. I don't think it even should be 'because of' your mom but just because you should do what you need to do to take care of yourself and LO. If being on bed rest (and I'll admit I'm not sure how strict "strict" is....are you confined to bed all day?) is what it takes, then wait until after LO is born.

    DH aren't doing anything in advance (we're Jewish. It's tradition). That means no baby shower for me/us...but we'll do a baby naming (we're told we're having a girl) about a month or so after.  We won't have bought ANYTHING prior to baby...and neither will any of our family. At least you'll be somewhat prepared Wink thanks to mom.

    Though it may be stressful on some people in your circle of friends/family...you really should do what is healthiest for you both. Everyone else can wait.

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  • crysbenacrysbena

    What if you do both?  Shower with friends now... something low key and easy and then a sip and see for family and friends who want to see the baby.

    Have a shower though.  My good friend was on bed rest in the hospital with twins and we really had a great time giving her a shower.  We had cake, presents.... we even paid to have someone come give her and all of us a pedicure.  She was pampered and able to have a little fun despite being laid up.  It turned out great.

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  • Peanut1334Peanut1334
    I am having the shower at my house eventhough I am not in the same situattion as you. Have it at your house as long as you can accomodate the number of guests. That way you get see everyone an benefit from thier genorsity.
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  • lesalia217lesalia217
    imageStrawberryAlarmClock:

    Tell your mom you need a small, intimate shower to lift your spirits. No "measure the belly" games or anything. Just you and 10 close girlfriends/family.

    Then, you can have a Meet The Baby party after LO is here. Maybe something co-ed, gifts not expected.

    I like this idea!

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  • Ellasmommy07Ellasmommy07 member

    Personally, if I were on bedrest, a shower wouldnt be at the top of my list of priorities. You will still get to see your family at a meet the baby party after the baby is born. My child being healthy and safe is more important than a  baby shower and sparing other peoples feelings.

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  • bump54321bump54321 member
    Oh, I guess I should explain "strict bed rest".....  I can get up to move from the bed to the couch (or vice versa), go to the bathroom and to take a daily shower.  And I can get out to go to my OB appointments.  That's it.
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  • bsadler81bsadler81
    I think a short and sweet shower at your house with you on the sofa is a great idea!!  I feel like why let preeclampsia take something else from you!! That's my opinion.  I had pre-e with my daughter and found out yesterday that I now have a little protein spilling over in my urine.  I'm on modified bedrest.  But Dr. told me to go to my shower and to have fun...sitting!! LOL :)  Good luck :)
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  • minnzminnz

    You should do what you feel will be good for you to do... I like the idea of a "lift your spirits" shower--very sweet--if you feel you can handle people coming over.  You would just need to be very clear with your friends about understanding your limits. It's wonderful that they want to celebrate with you and shower you with fun/gifts, but it would need to be accommodating for sure. 

    I like the idea of a shower after the baby is born as well if you had more people you wanted to invite. 

     

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  • NeishaRuthNeishaRuth
    I have two showers coming after baby is born. Since you already have what you need to bring baby home, I don't see anything wrong with waiting, if it makes you and baby feel best. The thought of having a party at my house while I'm on bed rest makes me squirm a little. haha Your friends should be able to understand. BUT if you WANT a shower now, then do it now. :) Right now, its all about YOU and Baby! Enjoy this time, even while on bed rest. Best wishes to you!
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  • jill_aitoro7jill_aitoro7
    Am I the only one who thinks this is your decision - not your friends' or your mom's?? Sure, you don't want to cause unnecessary risk, but I think having a small shower at your home, while you lounge, is perfectly fine... IF that's what you want (it sounds like it is). Don't worry about your mom being mad -tell her it's your body, your pregnancy, and your decision.
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  • BFab11BFab11 member

    My mom is the same as yours; when I was on bed rest she was super cautious and freaking out.

    I think it may be a good idea to have a shower at your house before with you resting (and I'm sure your mom will be making sure you're staying seated) because I know I'm not going to want a bunch of people over at once right after LO gets here, and if you have yours early and you and/or baby are in the hospital for a while, even after you go home you probably won't want a bunch of people around a preemie. 

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  • ScissorTailedFlycatcherScissorTailedFlycatcher member

    PPs who said she shouldn't: She's on BEDREST. She's not?quarantined. Good grief.

    If you can get the help, a shower would totally be amazing. I missed my shower, but it's because it was an hour away and I was in the hospital. I would have loved to have a shower at my house, but people had already gone the one planned for me, even though I wasn't there. I say go for it. It's totally up to you though. PM me if you ever need to.?

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  • sheparlisheparli

    imagejsmott76:
    Oh, I guess I should explain "strict bed rest".....  I can get up to move from the bed to the couch (or vice versa), go to the bathroom and to take a daily shower.  And I can get out to go to my OB appointments.  That's it.

     Then I think you should not have a shower now and do it after you deliver a healthy baby. Even though you'd be sitting around, you'd be opening gifts and entertaining/talking to everyone. This will be exhausting for you! Do what the Dr. says and just take it easy until LO gets here.

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