Are there things you just "know" you will do when it comes to baby?

MotherBucker · January 2010

Note: this isn't a debate on what is better.

There were just some things I knew I would do when I had kids. I knew I would cicumscize my son, if I had one. I knew I would breastfeed, given I could.

ETA: I also knew I would get an EPI when it came to labor.

Then there were other things that I totally changed my thinking on once I had a baby. I used to swear my kid would never sleep with me. Yeah, my 2 year old is sitll in my bed.

Anyone else?

FutureMrs.Brady · January 2010

Oh yes, before I had my DD I always said she was never going to sleep in our bed. Well she did, still does when she's sick. Sometimes it was the only way to get even a few hours of sleep.

shanmoyer · January 2010

I know we will circumsize because DH isn't and he hates it.

I know that we will encourage sports, but that I will also encourage music and will give him creative freedom to be his own person and have a wandering spirit (I'm a bit of one myself being an artist!)

I know that I'm not okay (though it is okay for some other's and that's totally fine) with sleeping in the same bed as my baby. Bassinet beside the bed for the first month, sure - but my bed is my bed and DH is lucky to sleep in it with me and my kitties!

ETA: I say as a baby, because if they need a snuggle when they're sick or lonely or have a nightmare....come on in baby boy! Mama will protect you!

jlthompson19 · January 2010

I'm with you on the first three.

I will do my best for my child NOT to sleep with us.

I think I'll eventually be the devil (after the first few month) and let the baby CIO. Or I'll at least be looking into the ferber method.

niccole_e · January 2010

MotherBucker:
Note: this isn't a debate on what is better.

There were just some things I knew I would do when I had kids. I knew I would cicumscize my son, if I had one. I knew I would breastfeed, given I could.

ETA: I also knew I would get an EPI when it came to labor.

Then there were other things that I totally changed my thinking on once I had a baby. I used to swear my kid would never sleep with me. Yeah, my 2 year old is sitll in my bed.

All of this including the 2 year old in the bed (swore I'd never)

prego760 · January 2010

I will absolutely not have my child in bed with me. My 7 year old half brother and 10 year old half sister still sleep in thier mother's bed.

niccole_e · January 2010

sorry that quoted wrong...

star173 · January 2010

I knew I would breastfeed no matter what...and I'm glad I committed myself early on because I went through so much to be able to. I feel the same way this time, but I'm hoping it's a little easier!

If I have a boy, I now know I won't circ'. I never planned these with DD, but I know I will cloth diaper this baby and cosleep.

LaurelBee · January 2010

Not letting our kids sleep with us was one of them

I'll let you know how that one goes! If possible I will BF. And I won't let my inlaws baby sit with their dog in the same room! He's snapped and growled at me for no reason on occasion when he's "protecting" something.

CoastieWife08 · January 2010

I've learned to never say never.

DD was never going to watch TV. Yeah, that went out the window quickly. I happily eat my words on that one.

However, I knew I was going to co-sleep (we did co-sleep and still room-share today) and BF (I ended up exclusively pumping, but I consider that to be the same thing).

elizb137 · January 2010

Teehee Jenn...I think a lot of crow is eaten after your kids are actualy born!!

For me, I never thought I'd breastfeed, and never thought I'd be so devastated when i couldn't.

I also never thought I'd cosleep, and I sure did...and even though it was difficult getting Alex to sleep in her own bed, I still stand by my decision to get sleep when I could lol.

Ready2006 · January 2010

I will definitely BF (I'll EP if I need to) and I will definitely use ferber when baby is ready.

And, haha, I will definitely have a labrador retriever themed nursery. :-)

Erika6504 · January 2010

I'm with you on circumcision, breastfeeding, and the epi

Now, I don't know that there is ANYTHING I'll say that I will definitely do or not do. Sometimes parenthood is about survival and you do what you have to do to get through the rough days.

Maplebear · January 2010

I know that we will circumscize our son. (Religion)

I know that I will breastfeed to the best of my abilities

I will try my best not to allow our kids to sleep in our bed except for on occasion (nightmares). However I also said this about my dog and he sleeps at our feet every night now. *sigh*

I know that I will encourage many different interests in our children (sports, music, art, etc)

Ready2006 · January 2010

I feel like a bit of an oddball PG woman, but I have no idea if I'll have an epi or not. I'm planning to listen to all the information and hope I can get by without it. But if I feel like I need it, I'll gladly take it and won't be upset about it. I'm just going with the flow there (which is not something I normally do!)

Lambie. · January 2010

For those of you who swore your kid would never sleep in your bed, but then they did, how did it happen? Not only do I not want my baby in the bed but DH is a very restless sleeper and I don't feel it would be safe. Half the time I don't even feel safe so I really don't even see it as an option.

chazlewo · January 2010

I know I will breastfeed and cloth diaper.

I know I will encourage early literacy skills and read to DS every day.

DS will not come into our bed (except as PP noted if they are sick/scared as a toddler). We're going to try the crib from first night, but DH realises that this might be a challenge, so we will reassess after the first few weeks if needed.

l know we will encourage pacifier over finger/thumb sucking for soothing (have a 7 year old neice with braces and a deformed finger because of finger sucking).

I know plans change Wink

nopegoat · January 2010

Ready2006:
I will definitely BF (I'll EP if I need to) and I will definitely use ferber when baby is ready.
And, haha, I will definitely have a labrador retriever themed nursery. :-)

Ha ha! I was thinking about doing that for our nursery! We have two black labs that we completely adore! They were our first babies!!

If we have a son we are going to get him circumsized, I am going to BF as long as I am able to... we are NOT going to let our kid sleep in the bed with us... of course nightmares are a different story... but our two labs sleep with us (at the end) and they are going through enough changes where they sleep isn't going to be one! I know some of you are probably thinking I am insane for this but yea...

AmandaJane1 · January 2010

I will BF (unless I can't for some unforeseen reason), I will not let baby sleep with us (when she is older and is sick, or has a bad dream then that will be different) and at some point I will just let her CIO (I have an aunt who NEVER EVER let this happen and she hasn't slept in 5 years). I will discipline my child when necessary, but NEVER with spanking, swearing, or disparaging remarks.

I will sing to my baby even though I am tone deaf, and I will encourage sports, music, art, anything she seems interested in (within reason).

Haha however, I'm a first time mommy, so we will see how long some of my "proclamations" last!

mrsjenni · January 2010

Yep.

I knew I'd let my kids watch TV (though not all day long)

I knew I would NOT BF

I knew I'd get an EPI

I knew I'd circumcise my son

I knew I wouldn't let my kids sleep in our bed unless they were sick.

I knew I'd feed my kid whatever they wanted as long as they were eating (when they're little, that is... not when they can actually have a convo with me about it... then they're eating what I make! This is not a buffet.)

I knew my kids would play sports. If they're not interested, then they must be involved in something (clubs, volunteering, etc.)

cutie420311 · January 2010

You can never say you will or won't do something until the baby is here.

You say you won't EVER let the baby sleep with you. Wait til you haven't slept for 3 days. You'l do ANYTHING.

Everything i think we said we wouldn't do/try, I think we eventually did, except for BIG things like morals, etc.

mysticporter · January 2010

DH and I both strongly believe in 'never say never'...I've just run across far too many situations even before kids where I or someone else had to change their tune. I hate the feeling of fate laughing at me and my foolish plans.

At any rate, I really didn't care either way about breastfeeding before I gave birth to DD, and I ended up being very strongly committed to it. Before I got pregnant I always figured I'd circumsize a son if I had one, but DH and I have both decided we wouldn't. I wanted to avoid an epi if I could, and the first time around I was able to. We didn't want DD to watch TV as an infant/toddler or sleep in the bed with us, neither of which she's done. We wanted to do cloth diapers, and have.

Those are the ones I can think of that I've heard people people say "oh, just wait!" about.

prego760 · January 2010

Lambie.:
For those of you who swore your kid would never sleep in your bed, but then they did, how did it happen? Not only do I not want my baby in the bed but DH is a very restless sleeper and I don't feel it would be safe. Half the time I don't even feel safe so I really don't even see it as an option.

I'm with you on this part also. My DH is a bed hogger and has bopped me in the face a time or two in his sleep. Also if this baby is going to be sleeping in my bed what the heck was the point of buying a 3 bedroom house.

My half sibling still sleeping in my former step mother's bed is one of the two big reasons she's my former step mother now.

MrsD627 · January 2010

mrs.jenni:

Yep.

I knew I'd let my kids watch TV (though not all day long)

I knew I would NOT BF

I knew I'd get an EPI

I knew I'd circumcise my son

I knew I wouldn't let my kids sleep in our bed unless they were sick.

I knew I'd feed my kid whatever they wanted as long as they were eating (when they're little, that is... not when they can actually have a convo with me about it... then they're eating what I make! This is not a buffet.)

I knew my kids would play sports. If they're not interested, then they must be involved in something (clubs, volunteering, etc.)

This! Except I am still undecided about BF. I'll try it to start, but if it doesn't work, I won't beat myself up over it.

FemmeNat01 · January 2010

I was pretty sure I wasnt going to breastfeed because it just isnt for me. And I have no plans on doing it.

The twins will never sleep in the same bed as us (unless they're sick or has a nightmare).

I totally thought I would get to have a natural birth but that's out the window and not possible.

KRISTA555 · January 2010

I know I'll be pretty laid-back, but my children will not rule my house. It's the way I handle most anything.. and my older sister who has 3 children is much the same way. I don't believe in picking on kids for every little thing they do.. but some things are non-negotiable.

I do have SOME confidence that I will be true to my word, because I am a former step-mom, and I had better discipline over those kids than their mom did... lol

synchrosally · January 2010

The only thing I "know" for sure is that I will try my best to breastfeed. If it comes down to it, and I have tried everything and it just isn't working, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I know I will not circumcise my son (if I have one). As for co-sleeping and CIO? We shall see how that goes.

chazlewo · January 2010

prego760:

Lambie.:
For those of you who swore your kid would never sleep in your bed, but then they did, how did it happen? Not only do I not want my baby in the bed but DH is a very restless sleeper and I don't feel it would be safe. Half the time I don't even feel safe so I really don't even see it as an option.

I'm with you on this part also. My DH is a bed hogger and has bopped me in the face a time or two in his sleep. Also if this baby is going to be sleeping in my bed what the heck was the point of buying a 3 bedroom house.

My half sibling still sleeping in my former step mother's bed is one of the two big reasons she's my former step mother now.

same reasons for not co-sleeping here. dh is known to throw a pillow on top of me in the middle of the night, we have two dogs that sleep with us, we have a soft mattress, and i can't sleep well without a pillow or blanket. for us it would very much be unsafe, so co-sleeping is non-negotioable. if it came down to it and i was losing my mind, we would compromise by using a pack n play in our room.

jlthompson19 · January 2010

kdm06c:
Ready2006:

I will definitely BF (I'll EP if I need to) and I will definitely use ferber when baby is ready.

And, haha, I will definitely have a labrador retriever themed nursery. :-)

Ha ha! I was thinking about doing that for our nursery! We have two black labs that we completely adore! They were our first babies!!

If we have a son we are going to get him circumsized, I am going to BF as long as I am able to... we are NOT going to let our kid sleep in the bed with us... of course nightmares are a different story... but our two labs sleep with us (at the end) and they are going through enough changes where they sleep isn't going to be one! I know some of you are probably thinking I am insane for this but yea...

I have 2 great danes and a 75lb mutt who sleep with us. There is NO safe way for a baby to be in our bed. And I'm with you that the dogs get to keep their sleeping spots, they deserve some normalcy/routine.

MrsDCruz · January 2010

I know I will have an EPI

I know that I will BF

Thats about it so far...

sarahlindsay · January 2010

Assuming I can, I know I will breasfteed. I also know that I will do everything possible to avoid an epi during labor.

MermaidNM · January 2010

I will make every effort to keep my marriage strong as we build our family. I will not belittle him or push him aside "because I can do it better". We will make family decisions together and raise our children together. Other than that everything is negotiable.

mexicolombiana · January 2010

here goes (from a first timer so I'm sure I sound naive)

1. Kids will NOT sleep with us

2. Will breastfeed

3. I do not want pain meds during labor, and don't think I will need them. (assuming of course it's a normal labor and delivery and nothing crazy happens) My mom didn't have any and swears women don't "need" pain meds, her mom didn't have any, etc... I've had plenty of sports injuries, (really bad ones too) been in excrutiating pain before, have a huge tattoo I sat 15 hours through, on my left side/abs, and i'm just confident I won't want/need pain meds... That said, all my friends with kids tell me: "we'll see how long you last through the exhaustion of labor until you give in"...I think i'm just trying to prove them wrong at this point!

4. I will speak to my kids in Spanish and English and my kids WILL learn spanish. (my parents are native Mexican and Colombian and DH's parents are native Puerto Rican). I'm so sick of people who are around two languages and don't try to teach their kids another language.

and now I have to get back to work otherwise I would go on...

BamBam510 · January 2010

I will not co-sleep, me and DH have agreed, even if it means we get no sleep. 2 children have died in the past month in our town due to co-sleeping. One 6 week old, and a 6 month old so that is something I will refuse to do unless they are older and have a nightmare or whatever.

I will def breastfeed if able to, and I will def not allow having a baby stop me and DH from having our time together and if it means getting a sitter (grandmas or grandpas) for a couple hours once a week then thats what we'll do. And I will not let a child cause us to "lose our freedom" like so many friends say they do. We have committed to doing things as a family once he is here and still getting away on occassion with and without him.

mexicolombiana · January 2010

mistyblue182:

And I will not let a child cause us to "lose our freedom" like so many friends say they do. We have committed to doing things as a family once he is here and still getting away on occassion with and without him.

That's a good one!

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