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Okay, my official intro.

mandaphillymandaphilly member
in Single Parents

Hokay, this is mostly for the people that are new and don't know my situation. - A majority of the people here know the wist of it.

So here we go. I'm Amanda, and I'm 17 years old. (shocker!) I have a daughter, Mia Allison, who is 3 months. I gave birth on October 10, 2009.

How did I get here? Well I'll try to make it short.

I met Javier, in July of 08. We started dating really quick. It all happened to fast. Next thing you know he moved in with me. By February of 09, I got my BFP. Things were rocky, but I was in love. And please don't try to minimize my feelings for somebody just because I am 17.

Anyways, Javier LOVES weed. And before I got PG, we used to 'blaze' like 24/7. We'd go out drinking and just be losers. But once I got my BFP I stopped everything, but he continued to smoke and drink. Some nights he wouldn't come home. We started to fight a lot, it was ridiculous.

By March of 09, after St. Patrick's Day Parade we got into a fight and I kicked him out of my house for the day. But he was back in by the night. Anyways the next day is the first time he laid hands on me. He choked me, threw me across the room.  Hit me in my face repeatedly. Then after he was done I was in so much shock, that he told me to put a different face on because my mom was coming home in 30 minutes. I just sat there crying and he stripped me down to my clothes and put me in the shower, said he would never do it again and he was so sorry.

April came around and he hit me again. - Because I had just got home from work (Dunkin Donuts) and once I got home I told him I was going down the street to D&D for a bagel. And he freaked out and was so pissed that I didn't just get one on the way home. So I left the house cause we got into a fight and he followed me and started to beat me on the streets in the dark.

We moved to Puerto Rico on May 16, 2009. I lasted only a month there because the beatings got worse and worse. He would beat me on the streets there, and people would just look the other way. The night he locked me inside the house there I had no way to get out, he hide all the phones from me and beat me wicked bad that night. - I finally found a hidden phone and called his stepmother to come and get me.

Left the next day without him even knowing. And now I'm back here in RI.

I'm crazy, because I still have feelings for him. I don't understand why, but I just do. I wish that things didn't have to be with way. But I do know that where I am today is where I should be with my daughter and not down there with him treating me like that.

I'm done trying to figure it out, I'm done looking for closure. God will always save me, and he can figure out what he wants to do with me and with him. If it's meant to be, it will come back around and he will be a changed person. But for now, I'm just done trying to figure it all out.

So yeah, being a single parent is a bittersweet sort of thing for me. Sweet because you get to experience everything with your child, but bitter because you don't get to share it with anybody else.

Anyways, I love you ladies! Gift

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Re: Okay, my official intro.

  • meghan_mariemeghan_marie member
    So, I knew more than I thought I did. I'm really glad you got out of that situation. You are a strong woman. :D
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  • chey_lowchey_low
    wow.. I'm really glad you got out of that situation... My mom used to be in a situation like that until he put his hands on  me and then she left him for good... Just think if he would hurt you like that and not think twice, what would he do to your daughter? And she couldn't withstand the beatings like you can... Yeah I know there will always be love there but thats one of lifes crazier moments... but like I said I'm glad your out of there..Crying
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  • achase123achase123
    Welcome and I am so glad that you got out of that situation.  Have you looked into counseling?  I worry that you may not be quite strong enough to resist him if he tries to come back again.  You need support to stop this pattern of abuse.  We have all been through it, although some of us suffered from emotional/verbal abuse, it is still similar.  The patterns are the same, honeymoon stage, then tension building, then abuse.  It is a vicious cycle.  Stay strong for Mia and don't let that loser back into your life.  I know it is hard and you are young but you will certainly meet someone way better than Javier.  He sounds like a true Douchebag. 
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  • mandaphillymandaphilly member

    Oh yes a month after I came home from PR, I checked myself into counseling.

    I found the PERFECT one too, she is awesomesauce!

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  • ladyaylenaladyaylena
    Ugh, what an awful situation...  I'm so glad you got out of that.  Stay strong for that baby girl!  Like a PP said, if he laid his hands on you do you think he would hesitate to do the same to your baby???
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